gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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i feel strongly like i could make a real starter career out of this whole dying thing.

like - think about it. just HOW many no-maj television shows have at least one corpse per episode? i mean, there's like twenty-seven 'law & order's ALONE. and then all the friggin 'CSI's. there's about seventeen of those things. get in some light exercise as a mobile corpse over on 'walking dead' before i take a steak knife to the eye-socket or something. i could do, like, the full murder-show circut. maybe throw in some films. put away a nice nest-egg for college on being brutally and fictionally murdered on the regular.

real solid resume builder right there. listed under other skills: professional corpse.

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You could be one of those "that guy" guys, where people recognize you everywhere you go but can't place it. It's probably pretty glamorous, but you wouldn't be able to go out for a burger without getting stopped and talked to.

YES. oh man. i wonder if being "that guy" gets you a free burger every so often. that's all i really want out of life.

and i'm really good at talking. it's one of my few marketable skills. (it's also one of the skills that might actually get me turned into a REAL corpse?)

Free burgers for playing a dead guy on tv?? That is the life, dude. You should totally look into this. And then you could, like, use your talking skills to become a motivational speaker on the side. Dream life all around, right?

seriously. food and recreational napping while covered in artificial blood or maybe, like prosthetic road rash or something? are there other necessary things?

i don't know how organized the speaking is. it's be less motivational and more peppered with segues about random and unrelated topics.

I think you may have to be able to hold your breath for a long time if you get on, like, a premium channel murder show but I have definitely seen dead bodies still breathing on your basic network stuff. If you wanna be a top shelf career cadaver you gotta work for it.

i'm going to have to practice my endurance. intense corpse training program - lying really still in occasionally uncomfortable positions, work on not reacting when people poke me with things, go sit at the bottom of a swimming pool for a while or something.

Look at you! Already with a full training regimen. Shoot for the stars, little dude. You're on your way to a life of fame, luxury and free food.

i mean, i have to actually START a training regimen. but the planning is there. that totally counts as progress. it was made. it's written down.

i'll send you some burgers, dude. you are an inspiration.

I'm just proud to make a positive impact in impressionable young lives. But, like, I'll totally take the burgers too, man, thanks.

anything for the man who has helped to shape my career path.

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