gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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[...] Sorry for the disruption in the library earlier today. I wasn't feeling well. But I'm fine now.

[Junior Azurcrest Boys]

Healer Mufferaw gave me a Calming Draught. Because I [...] got a little stressed out earlier. Would one of you mind making sure I'm up on time tomorrow? This stuff tends to put me out.

[Reid]

Thanks. For ~~getting me out of there and over to Mufferaw. And for staying. And for walking me ba~~ everything. You didn't have to do that. But I appreciate it.

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Are you sure?
Do you need anything?
What happened?

I'm sure. And I don't need anything. But thanks.

Nothing really happened. I just [...] wasn't feeling well and made a bit of a scene leaving the library. I know I'd have been put off by it.

What's important is you're safe, and I'm REALLY glad that you are. Feel better please. ♥ (<--I do not care if you hate this heart, bb)

[Lachlan]
[...] I know you already said no but it's like. My duty to say AGAIN. You need anything at all, I am right here.
That sounds kinda [...] jarring at the very least.
I'm sorry you're not feeling well.

[...] Thanks, Addy. Really. (Even with the heart.)

[Addy]

Friend duty or prefect duty or both? [...] I'm all right now. Really. I think I just need to sleep and focus on getting through the next two days.

Friend Duty wins every time; this all me is me w/ no idea of what the burning weight of a prefect badge etc ever felt like.

And as that person: You should def sleep. You're gonna CRUSH goose exam season. Almost there.

[...] Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I don't know what I meant.

I want that to be true.

No apologies!
Idk either. I wanted it super clear that I am this nosy without ANY authority but. That's probably obvious.

I think it will be true. You know this stuff. You've been studying for so long. But for now. Please please take care of yourself too. Be kind to your brains, and they will also be kind to you.
(It's a v scientific thing.)

Concerned nosiness is one of your many charms, Addy.

[...] I know the magical theory side. I understand how magic works and why magic works and all that. But you've seen me during demonstrations. It takes me so much practice and even then I choke sometimes. Do it wrong. Do it and nothing happens. Charms and Transfiguration will be all right. But Defense Against the Dark Arts? [...] I really don't know.

It takes practice, but you have practiced. So many times. You do know this stuff. Even/especially Defense.

I think a big part of not choking is like. Being confident you know what you're doing. Getting out of your head a little. Which I know is wayy easier said than done.
[...] What do you think about, when you're doing those demonstrations?

Edited 2017-06-19 05:02 (UTC)

I know what I'm supposed to do. I just [...] can't do it. Not on command. Not with everyone watching me and expecting things from me. Not when I know that I need to do it. I start thinking about everything I know about the spell and end up completely blank. [...] ~~It's stupid.~~

...do you really think he is ok?

He was really stressed out the other day. Like. Really stressed out. ~~And it sounds like that sort of boiled over~~ I have no idea what to do since he just sort of says that it is fine.

I don't know.
I mean. I think he'll BE ok. It just sounds like exams. And it kiiinda doesn't surprise me he's taking them seriously. But they're almost over.

I don't know how to help for real either.
It's probably not actually FINE, but it will be. Everything feels worse when you're stressed. He for sure WILL be ok. This is such a dumb time of year.

Yeah. I guess he will be fine eventually. And Healer Mufferaw let him come back to the cabin, so it was not anything so concerning to him.

You are right. It is just stressful right now. He will lighten up after exams for sure, but... we still have next year. And what if this happens again? I guess there is no way to convince him to not worry so much about school. Maybe he will feel better after he gets through this year, though. I guess it is his first one at Gooseberry.

If it happens again, at least we'll know to start being suuuper annoying like 3 weeks earlier and (gently) push sleep/food/support like it's our business. (It might be my business.)

Exams are a reallly high pressure atmosphere. And I'm sure that's scary, especially in a whole new country with a whole new school. So yeah! It could def be better next year, anyway. I hope so.
IN the meantime, I totally plan to be v overbearing and make sure he (AND EVERYONE NOW) is eating/sleeping/taking part in activities that are NOT studying. Iiii will see how this goes.

This is true! We can keep a better eye on him earlier before exams and stuff. It is definitely our business. ~~I feel bad, I maybe should have tried harder~~ He won't be able to avoid both of us!

He takes school so seriously, so exams are extra hard on him... I guess it is not super surprising that he is so stressed, but I just wish we could somehow convince him that it is not as big of a deal as he feels like it is, or that he will do fine because he is smart. And that not being perfect does not mean he is bad. That is maybe that is more of a long term thing, though.

I think it is impossible for you to be overbearing! You are too good to everyone, Addy.

Not even if he wants to, bb.

I think it's def a long term thing. But it can't hurt to poke him with that message now and again. In little ways. I'll totally start spelling out GRADES DO NOT DETERMINE SELF WORTH! AND YOU ARE A GENIUS, ACTUALLY! into his Alpha-Bits every morning.
(THAT is a cereal made of alphabet letters that we do not stock here but that could totally be fixed.)

Shh. You're just as too good. ♥
I'm glad you're watching out too.

That is a good point, about poking him sometimes about it. I will try to remind him every so often... hopefully it will help some, even if it is slowly! Do you think maybe encouraging messages are better if they come from cereal?? Hahaha.

See look, there you are being too good to everyone again! But... yeah, we will both be looking out for him a bit more now, so that will be good. He will be ok.

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