ok i changed my mind here's the real rankings:

Cameron: most fun roommate
Casper: handsomest roommate
Ulysses: smartest roommate
Wilde: coolest roommate

but aloud all iliya will say to them is:

Cameron: "How do you have so much vodka?"
Casper: "Your hair is fine. You do not have to touch it so much."
Ulysses: "If you fail, at least you are still rich."
Wilde: "Do you not get tired of trying to skateboard everywhere?"