goosemods: (Default)
Gooseberry Mods ([personal profile] goosemods) wrote in [community profile] gooseberryhigh2017-04-10 07:31 am
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MAGIZOOLOGY: SQUONK CARE



MAGIZOOLOGY: SQUONK CARE

This week, all Magizoology students are paired up to care for a squonk (scientific name Lacrimacorpus dissolvens) until the weekend, at which point the animals will be sent off to live on a reserve in Pennsylvania. These sections are exciting, and allow for a lot of hands-on time with the animals.

However, when students arrive, they're greeted by an unfortunate, greasy smell. It's most closely compared to unfortunate body odor and overripe fruit. They knew that the squonks would be ugly, but... oh. Oh no. They are very ugly. And so leaky.


The creature's skin is ill-fitting, and it's covered with warts and other blemishes. Because the squonk is ashamed of its appearance, it hides from sight and spends much of its time weeping. Constantly, constantly weeping. Humans who have attempted to catch squonks have found that the creature is capable of evading capture by dissolving completely into a pool of tears and bubbles when cornered as a self-defense mechanism. It also tends to liquefy when nearby people aren't kind enough, and the students soon find that their new charges are very sensitive.

HOW THIS WORKS

  • Students are paired within their year. Seniors have the most experience caring for exotic creatures, and will get bonuses to their success.

  • The two pairings whose Squonk Happiness Level is highest will receive commendations from Mrs. O'Hare, and maybe a prize if the mods can think of something when we're less exhausted. This won't be announced until next Monday after the squonks have left.

  • Squonks are actually quite intelligent! This is nice when it comes to interacting with them, but it does mean that surprising things can set them off and subtract from your Squonk Happiness Level.

  • Surprising things may include: complimenting it (squonks have a hard time believing they are loveable), praising it for basic things (squonks are sensitive to being condescended to), watching it while it eats (squonks are anxious during mealtimes), getting too excited (your sudden outburst scared it), not cleaning its droppings quickly enough (no one likes to live in filth), cleaning its droppings too quickly (you're disgusted by your squonk's natural functions, aren't you?!).

  • Referencing squonk care on the journals over the week may also contribute or subtract from your Squonk Happiness Level.

  • They smell bad. They also make you smell bad by proximity to them.

  • Their goopy liquid selves will stain your clothing like you spilled olive oil on it.

  • There's no way around it: squonks are just not fun to be around.

  • They will reside in the stables, and students are expected to come by and feed them and care for them daily.

SENIORS:
Asher & Kazim Cecil & Diego Damon & Levi Irene & Nathaniel
JUNIORS:
Antonia & Kurt Cameron & Oscar Clementine & Ennis
Jaime & Marilyn Reece & Roxanne & Ulysses Ferdinand & Sylvester
SOPHOMORES:
Fern & Gabriela & Will Hazel & Jefferson


Name:
Year: Sophomore/Junior/Senior
Partner:
How do you and your partner get along?: Squonks are easily stressed out by conflict!
How loud is your character's voice?: Squonks want indoor voices only!
What is their opinion on the squonks and their general physical presence?: Mother nature designed them to be unappealing for their own protection!
Your squonk ruined your favorite item of clothing. Now what?: It happens to even the best squonk caregivers.
You find your squonk sobbing uncontrollably. How do you handle this?: Badly, probably. Let's just be honest here.
How gentle is your character?: Be honest, you hellions. Your squonk knows the truth.
Can your squonk tell that in your heart of hearts you don't like it?: Yes, it can. I'm filling this part out for you.



ยป SQUONK CARE: Please post your forms and write any scenes or reactions here.

ยป OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

solveforx: (Default)

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] solveforx 2017-04-10 01:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I am in the process of rewriting the lyrics to the Beastie Boys song Girls to be about Squonks

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] ulixes - 2017-04-10 15:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] heyitsnia - 2017-04-10 15:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] ulixes - 2017-04-10 15:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] heyitsnia - 2017-04-10 16:00 (UTC) - Expand
ninjaleo: (Default)

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] ninjaleo 2017-04-10 01:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I am the anti squonk and would kill this thing inside a week
BETTER LUCK FERDIE...AND SY...never mind

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] browbeats - 2017-04-10 13:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] ferdie - 2017-04-10 16:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] ulixes - 2017-04-10 14:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] ferdie - 2017-04-10 16:16 (UTC) - Expand

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] threatens - 2017-04-10 14:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] ferdie - 2017-04-10 16:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] threatens - 2017-04-10 16:20 (UTC) - Expand
threatens: (๐Ÿ† 14)

Re: WHO CAN RELATE TO SQUONKS?

[personal profile] threatens 2017-04-10 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
i'm super hot and have an overinflated sense of self-esteem

squonks dissolve when i enter the room
choneychurch: (pic#11138382)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] choneychurch 2017-04-10 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Cecil and Diego have never been more appropriately paired for anything. THEY'RE CRYBABIES TOO, LIL' GUY.
duelled: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] duelled 2017-04-10 01:53 pm (UTC)(link)
i absofruitly did not get enough sleep and this post is the funniest thing i've ever read
duelled: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] duelled 2017-04-10 01:59 pm (UTC)(link)
"Your squonk ruined your favorite item of clothing. Now what?" RIP clem's puffy jacket 2009-2014
ulixes: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] ulixes 2017-04-10 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
for r/r/u's squonk's sake, i really hope reece and roxie aren't too cute together bc he will be 100000x more obnoxious if he thinks reece "bug buddy" downing is on a date

or maybe their squonk likes seeing ulysses raise his eyebrows and make bad jokes who knows
threatens: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] threatens 2017-04-10 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
seeing other people have cute crushes reminds your squonk that it will be Forever Alone
duelled: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] duelled 2017-04-10 02:58 pm (UTC)(link)
read as "big buddy", was confused, 10/10, would misread again
magitechnically: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] magitechnically 2017-04-10 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
omg this is soooooooooo cute
puphart: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] puphart 2017-04-10 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
oh boy nia i hope you're ready to have your squonk-care ENDLESSLY COMPLIMENTED!!! (spoiler alert: kurt's trying to boost your New Mom Crab Self-Esteem!!!!!)
heyitsnia: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] heyitsnia 2017-04-10 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Kurt you are too good too pure too sweet for this monster girl.

She is going to be SO SERIOUS ABOUT SQUONK CARE you will have to play good cop to keep the squonk from spiraling into a pit of despair
gdilevi: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] gdilevi 2017-04-10 03:49 pm (UTC)(link)
ennis looks @ his squonk and is just like


"same tbh"
heyitsnia: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] heyitsnia 2017-04-10 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
How badly are levi and dimi gonna fail
neattrick: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] neattrick 2017-04-10 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
i said "i forgot that ferdie kissed both the stoker twins" out loud and cam punched me in the glute bc he didn't know that happened
threatens: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] threatens 2017-04-10 06:14 pm (UTC)(link)
in the same night!!! the bruises have long since healed. lucky guy.

also... cameron... there are better ways to express yourself, young man
browbeats: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] browbeats 2017-04-10 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Rosy more slammed her face into his and almost gave him a fat lip. Sy won the Who Kisses Ferdie Better competition.
bambae: (pic#11246469)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] bambae 2017-04-10 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
And then Chris gave him a ten minute hug in the middle of the spin the bottle circle

Ferdie had a very eventual night that day
indiefolk: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] indiefolk 2017-04-10 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I cannot read squonk entries in the office because not laughing is simply too hard.
gonnabefamous: (Default)

angry cries-in-private squonks, represent.

[personal profile] gonnabefamous 2017-04-10 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Are there squonks that are just this sensitive, but they pretend they're not and ANGRILY REFUSE TO CRY IN PUBLIC bc dat me.

ALSO there is a Squonk Opera here tomorrow. I shit you not. I heard about it like a month ago but at the time just assumed squonk was like, a rando word for a lot of noise, like caucaphony. NOW I KNOW.
heyitsnia: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] heyitsnia 2017-04-10 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Squonk day is my favorite day and also the day i get fired for laughing too fucking hard at teenagers manhandling gross things.
Edited (dat garden path sentence tho) 2017-04-10 19:48 (UTC)
ferdie: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] ferdie 2017-04-10 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Never have I ever been happier to be the only one in my office for 2 days
Mostly bc I keep saying SQUOONK out loud because ITS EVEN A FUNNY WORD
ulixes: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] ulixes 2017-04-10 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
i just noticed the scientific name for a squonk is "dissolving tear-body" lmfao