gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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Another stellar anon post.

~~[Calvin]~~

~~Is that tr~~

[Senior Ribbonfins plus Calvin]

Do I flirt with other Fins?

~~[Lilika]~~

~~Did you~~

[Webster]

Do you think any of what the anon said about me [...] is true? Do you [....] feel that way?

~~[Cas]~~

~~I don't~~

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Me either.

[Casper]

[...] Do I bother you too much?

You don't bother me at all. And you don't need to listen to a bunch of shitheads just trying to stir up trouble for you and Knox.

[...] I cross things out because I sometimes want to talk but then I second guess what I want to say. That's all it is.

[...] I know. I do that too.

You don't need to explain anything to me.

I just wasn't sure if it was frustrating, and [...] I don't want to take anything for granted. I feel like I made talking a little more awkward than it used to be.

The other day, the crossouts on your post about [...] Lilika and Nell, it just confused me, that's all.

[...] Sometimes it is. But I don't think that's because of you. I can't seem to open my fucking mouth without ~~hurting y~~ saying something careless these days.

[...]

I was extremely drunk.

[...] I think I was careless for a while and I took that freedom for granted to say whatever was on my mind ~~and heart~~ and it caused us to [...] not be as close friends. And it made me wonder if [...] we were close friends or if that was just something I decided on my own regardless of your feelings. I'm trying to be [....] less self-centered and stop assuming things. And stop crossing things out.

[...]

Lilika doesn't like me. I'm sure she has her reasons, and I've tried, and I kinda gave up and just accepted that she never would. And ~~she~~ [....] I thought you two didn't get along either and now you are friends. I felt like wow, I must really be screwing up if she changed her mind about you, but she still thinks I suck.

We're friends, Popplestone. And I don't think you're self-centered. But I think you dwell on all this shit too much and you let it make you crazy and you shouldn't.

[...]

I don't know what Ignacz and I are. We got dosed with Rose's potion a few weeks ago and it [...] changed our perceptions of each other in some ways. ~~She was~~ Regardless, not everyone's going to like you. It doesn't mean you're screwing up. Frankly, I doubt she'd be a fan of anyone that was dating Knox.

Do you think she was part of the smear campaign tonight?

[...] Easier said than done.

[...] I don't want to say. If she wasn't, then [...] she wasn't. If she was, I don't know how that would change anything. I already know how she feels about me. And [...] she's your friend, too, at least in a way. So [...] maybe it's not right to speculate.

Most things are.

[...] A change in perception doesn't mean I'm oblivious to the sort of person Ignacz is. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she was involved. But there's no shortage of people in this school that would say those things just to fuck with you either, especially on the Anonymous Post. So it's difficult to say.

Have you talked to KnoX?

She's [....] the one person I thought of who would tear me down to make Webster look better. But maybe there are a ton of people here who would say that, anyway.

[...] We're talking. [...] I'm not going to press him on if it's her. And he said some of it might have been valid back before he knew me better. [...] But not now.

Some people just like to stir up shit. You know that. I doubt it even has much to do with you.

[...] ~~That's bullsh~~ It's good that he's got his head on straight now, at least.

Who else would it have to do with? [...] No, I know what you are saying. They want a target, that's all. It could be anyone.

[...] ~~He's~~ It's just the stuff about me flirting with other Ribbonfins. That he didn't understand me and the guys before, and now he does.

Strange oversight on his part. Given his friendship with Ignacz.

I guess it's different for them. [...] But I don't flirt with any Ribbonfins either. I know I don't.

Could you be with someone if your best friend hated them? Like, if Iliya or Cameron actively disliked them?

I don't know. I've never been in that situation. [...] But relationships can survive uncomfortable circumstances. Asher and his ex stayed together for a long time despite the fact that I fucking hated her. And he would've stayed with her if she hadn't broken it off when she graduated.

I didn't know you hated her. That must have been really shit for you, I'm sorry.

Is there anything she could have done to make it better? [...] Webster asked me if I was happy and I said yes and no. The no is because having his best friend not like me is causing stress. But at the same time, [...] maybe they are fine with that. Maybe it's not significant to them.

Don't be. It's ancient history.

It was a different situation. I hated her because of the way she treated Asher. She talked down to him and bossed him around and acted like he ought to be grateful for the privilege and he just took it. It pissed me off. If she stopped it might've changed things but it might not have. I can hold a grudge.

But you don't treat Knox like that and I don't know Ignacz well enough to guess what the real issues are. [...] I think it mattered to Asher. But in the end he just kept us separated and things were mostly all right. We didn't talk about her and I assume they didn't talk about me.

Wow, that is bad. I'd be really pissed myself if anyone treated Calvin that way, so you're right. It might not have changed anything. But now things are good with Asher?

I don't treat Webster badly. That's definitely not it. [...] But I'm not real PDA either. [...] I think what Lilika feels matters to him. In regards to me. In the past when she's said something or [...] cut me out, he just says she's prickly or she's sensitive. So he notices. I don't want it to become resentment. Maybe I should try again with her.

Like I said, ancient history. And Asher and I are [...] good. Yeah.

[...] Maybe. But if you're going to, I'd ask Knox how to approach her and tell him you're doing it. The last thing you want is to blindside him with more friction if it doesn't go like you're hoping.

Edited 2018-05-15 17:27 (UTC)

Good. I'm glad.

[...] I don't think it will go like I hope. But I don't have another option that I can think of ~~other than~~. Pretending everything is fine hasn't worked. I'll see if he thinks it's something I should do, though, and how.

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