gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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Training exercise my entire ass.

Who wants to take bets on what just got pissed off by aurors and is going to try and kill us, now?

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I think that moose fell victim to a training exercise as well.

So something bigger than a moose this time.

Overfed raccoons?

Several overfed raccoons. Stacked on top of each other. Posing as a Bigfoot.

The only logical conclusion. Either that, or trained aurors are kind of careless with training exercises they're engaging in close to civilian minors. Who knows.

Lowered safety regulations? In this economy?

It's more likely than you think.

Edited (me: i can't justify rosy knowing this meme. also me: but fuck the police) 2018-05-17 14:38 (UTC)

This year's flavor of doom has a significantly more hopeless aftertaste than last year's. I'd like to speak with the manager.

The manager is almost definitely ancient, unknowable, and sick of our shit.

Honestly? Understandable. The aurors don't seem to know when to quit.

You always know how to make me feel better.

Optimism is my middle name.

We’ve got a grand selection

My money is on a chittering mass of telepathic insectoids that wear the skins of their victims.

EW, how about NOT that???

Okay. How about some sort of snarling tenacled thing with no clear beginning or end?

Cole’s eyeball cat, but the eyeballs all turn into mouths and the cat is tree-sized.

Aw. The baby grew up.

Grown strong on the blood of law enforcement

We're all just his kick toys, now.

What about just some NORMAL murdery things.

Guy in a hockey mask?

I could take him.

You know. Probably.

But he wears the hockey mask because he was disfigured when he was sucked into another dimension and now he exists in both places at once and has no eyes and he's very self-conscious about his appearance.

OH MY GOSH LUCAS STOP!!!

I can't.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

Edited 2018-05-17 17:43 (UTC)

Okay okay okay okay okay.

Maybe Agent Monet just [...] had a severe allergic reaction [...] to [...] peanuts. [...] ~~Cursed peanuts that bequeathed upon her eons of forbidden knowledge, shattering her mind in~~ That might've been it.

Yeah. That's like TOTALLY my top choice too.

I admire your optimism.

see, i was thinking something along the lines of assault from those very aggressive apple trees from wizard of oz.

That's two votes for killer vegetation. I think we have a winner.

i'm not against the eyeball cat theory either.

And here I was hoping I could adopt one for myself. But there's just no room in the cabin for a tree-sized auror-defeating mouth-eyed displacer beast.

He shrinks

Hope in a hopeless world.

you still could! like - maybe it's a personal vendetta and an eyeball cat would be much more amenable to remaining a portable size and living with you.

Edited 2018-05-17 18:20 (UTC)