Dispatches from the Gryffindor Common Room

[browbeats]

I think I already made a new friend.

And about five enemies.

Comments

[cecaelian]

You've always been a people person.

[browbeats]

My charm transcends borders.

[threatens]

Have you punched him yet?

[browbeats]

I need to size up how scrappy his fan club is first.

[sheepish]

If you start throwing punches you might make more friends.

[browbeats]

That's the last thing I need.

[graysanatomyforkids]

Careful. That might be a mating ritual here in The Shire.

[browbeats]

He bet me he could get me to smile. How the hell else am I supposed to respond.

[graysanatomyforkids]

Just saying you should consult with the locals, first. Or you're going to wake up married to Pete Proudfeets, the Danger of i Drann.

[browbeats]

Question: Would I be able to append "the Danger of i Drann" to my name as well?

[graysanatomyforkids]

Pretty sure that's a title you earn after years of service. Non-transferable via punch marriage.

[browbeats]

Could I win it from him if I beat him in arm wrestling?

[graysanatomyforkids]

I think he'll have to wager it, first. You can trick him into doing that, can't you?

[browbeats]

Bet I can trick more boys out of their titles than you this weekend.

[graysanatomyforkids]

Oh, you're on. I'm sure there's probably a title for getting in a fight with the door knob to this common room.

[browbeats]

Wait, don't start without me. I want to see you lose to a doorknob.

[graysanatomyforkids]

Shit even if I lose to it, it's a friggin' door knob. There's got to be a title tied up in there, somewhere.

[browbeats]

Quantity over quality is one way to live your life, I guess.

[graysanatomyforkids]

Hey, this is purely a numbers game. I'm playing smart.

[browbeats]

This'll teach me to throw out challenges before I've developed a comprehensive weighted point system.

[graysanatomyforkids]

I will use this loophole to my advantage. I have no problem looking like a loser if it means I'll be a winner, in the end.

[foxpaws]

You guys are disgusting.

[graysanatomyforkids]

Don't be jealous of my ability to prioritize victory.

[foxpaws]

That's exactly what's going on here; you've caught me red-handed. I'm incredibly jealous. Wah.

[graysanatomyforkids]

I just know you so well.

[foxpaws]

It's uncanny, really.

If you're going to fail at a bunch of things while we're here invite me along so I can be your witness and definitely not make fun of you.

[graysanatomyforkids]

Well, you did promise.

[foxpaws]

And I'm always true to my word. Cross my heart, etc. etc.

[browbeats]

Aren't you proud of him for making looking like a loser into a choice?

[graysanatomyforkids]

I'm disrupting the losing industry.

[browbeats]

I hope you find your true calling in fighting doorknobs and carry that talent back to Utah. Healing was always a dead end.

[foxpaws]

I'm never proud of him, but this does verge on that feeling.

[browbeats]

Can't fault a guy for doing what he does best. Which is starting fights with inanimate objects.

[foxpaws]

It should be more sad than it is, but yeah, it's hard to judge too much. He's just trying so hard.

I feel more bad that you're into that.

[browbeats]

I'm just happy that he's happy.

[foxpaws]

I guess he's slightly less annoying when he's happy.

[browbeats]

I'm honestly not sure if that's true. It's just a different flavor of annoying.

[foxpaws]

I'll take the haughty annoying over the whiney annoying any day.

[cmdrchloe]

Hey, I'm proud of you for both!

[browbeats]

Thank you, I learned how to network at a young age.

[cmdrchloe]

I learned how to hide Debbie cakes in my room at a young age.

Speaking of which, will you bring me candy back?