July 31, 2015

[odder]

Attention: I need to clear my conscience.
If you’ve looked at Ari Flint with Interest in the last six months, you’re definitely on a watch list . I understand, but she’s been my girlfriend that whole time. You didn’t know, so you’re spared for now, but watch your step. I know that she’s unequivocally smarter and more beautiful than anyone you could ever date, but she’s mine and I love her, so that’s just too bad.
Thank you for your cooperation, and watch your backs.
Have nice lives, for however long they last.

Comments

[beansontoast]

OH MY GOD CUTE CONGRATULATIONS!

[odder]

I’m not sure I’d call our impending reign of terror cute, necessarily, but thank you.

[beansontoast]

What about romantic then?

[odder]

That’s a little better.

[beansontoast]

Only a little?

[novelling]

Ooo. Threats.

[odder]

And I’ve been studying vivisection this summer.

[novelling]

It's true. I've see the diagrams.

[odder]

I’m going to get you an enemy spleen.