gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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SIXTY MILES is how far I needed to go before I could shake Samantha's perfume out of my nostrils. Shit smells exactly like hotdogs, don't care how much she got conned into paying for it. At least one of you is a good enough friend that if a demon possessed me and made me wear perfume, you'd let me know if it smelled like hotdogs right?

Wonder what we're eating tonight.

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Let's be real, it's hotdogs.

And yes. Yes I would.

Haaa! If this school served us hotdogs as a welcome back meal I'd kick in all the teeth I had to until I got my tuition back. If it's not going to great meals, what's the point? We come here mostly to EAT, Dingleberry!

GOOD. I'm the only one who was straight with her about it so I think that makes me the best friend she has and I don't even like her, kinda sad.

Well, I mean, camping. Camping staple. Very on-theme, right?

Like disappointingly on theme, yeah. I'm only accepting on theme food in the form of smores tonight.

Mmm smores. Now I want smores! Damn you Rox!

Wait am I allowed to say damn now?

No, you are not. Prefects are banned from swearing and any other forms of fun.

Well, shit.

Hi Ravi!!!

Hello, Regan. Congratulations on the new badge. In all seriousness, I know you'll be a great asset to your house.

Thanks! That's super sweet of you. How was your summer?

Who damns someone over smores?! Maybe YOU'RE possessed. Better check in with our resident demon expert Borgin.

Oh no I'm hardly an expert, I didn't study the subject nearly long enough for that. It wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be.

Okay, true. I'm just here for the food.

I could watch out for signs of demonic possession for you if you wanted. I read several books on the subject several summers ago.

What're we looking out for here? How do I know if it's ectoplasm or just snot?

I read about the symptoms more in the mind of the individual, such as sudden irritability, combativeness towards sacred objects and iconography, and hopelessness. If you're hoping for a good dinner then that's probably a good sign so far? But if you start finding scratches and burns on your body especially after you sleep I might be worried. And the whole speaking in a language you don't already know. That's apparently a very bad sign.

That's probably just allergies, or exposure to a new climate and new pollens. Or the perfume itself!

That's a relief then I guess! Sure don't feel hopeless, I can take on a werewolf. I'll start getting worried if I try throwing down with someone's cross necklace.

~~I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE A HUMAN FIGHT A WEREWOLF~~ I have a crucifix I can wear to class and if you start speaking Latin at it or climb up the wall we may monitor it. It apparently even has a bit of a dead saint in it or something like that, so it's extra triggering for a demon, I would guess. Not that I'm religious or anything but it was pretty and matches everything.

Pretty sure someone in Coppertale would yell it at you from across the hall, Rox.

That's true friendship for ya!

You already smell like hot dogs, Rox

You're only saying that cuz you got hotdogs for arms.

it's nice to know I can count on you to be the back ground smell for my hotdog arms, though.

Not on the pitch though, I'll be too busy rocking it in the FOREGROUND and reeking like BO, you'd never even get a whiff of hotdog over all that.

Oh you're rocking in the foreground this year, huh?

No doubt. I've been working out.

want to get some practice in before try outs?

Hell yeah, I'm itching to get up there.

Let's do it, then.

What was it called?

Something by JAR. Supposed to smell like lightning, maybe it's called that.

What's lightning supposed to smell like?

Hotdogs, I guess.

JAR? Like... a jar? Do they have pickle scent? Olives? Peanut butter? Mayonaisse?

I have no idea what's for dinner, but I just made a comment about pancakes for dinner, and now I kind of want that.

Smores and pancakes would be the best dinner. Too bad there's no menu committee, I'd be all over that.

That sounds so good. If there was a menu committee, I'd be the first to sign up. Ice cream buffets would be a weekly thing.

And cheesecake would be BANNED. Unholy ass union that it is.

And this is where I'm going to have to stop you, that would be a crime. Cheesecake is too delicious to be banned!

Overruled, you'll have to enjoy it in private just like people who eat their snots do. It's nasty!

Grilled hotdogs or boiled? They've got the same base but the boiled smell like sadness on top of it.

Huh, I don't really know. I can't even remember the last time I smelled boiling hotdogs. Probably boiled, though, because she's one damn great big ball of sadness herself.

After two months of her ass stinking around the house and using my bathroom (AND COMPLAINING THAT I MADE IT DISGUSTING SO I HAD TO CLEAN IT AAALL THE TIME) I was all like, "Dad, this is home invasion, we should call the police," and he told me to SHUT UP. It's like her shittiness is contagious. I tried telling her her mom probably missed her but I don't think she believed me because literally no one alive would ever miss her.

Good to see you again. Didn't say it before because I was too distracted by how you smelled like hot dogs.

You could probably use that exact line with anybody you don't feel particularly like talking to from now on.

Guess I shouldn't have used it on Rox then. I'll save it for later. Or you can steal it for when the glare doesn't work.

Damn right you shouldn't have! I had to stand next to her for pictures, got me worried it might've rubbed off.

You didn't smell like hot dogs. It was a joke.

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