gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
'I don't much care where -' said Alice.
'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

~~[Pen~~
[P
[Penny]

Hi.

[Ryan]

What're you doing for NYE? xx

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Hopefully spending it with you.

[...]

And by that I mean I hope I didn't wait too long to think about it?

Sooo [...] maybe going to that big party?

Nahhh. I just realized it's in two days.

That sounds like fun. It's the one at Cameron's house right?

We rock at this whole teenager thing, don't we?

Yeah. Sounds like it could get crazy.

I'm a few slammed doors away from a perfect run.

I was at the compound, where someone nearly shot me with a crossbow because, and I quote, "My hair looked like them deer antler" I think I'm ready for party crazy instead.

Uh oh. Everything ok?

Oh my god. Tell me more stories.

Yeah [...]
It's just my mom.

I vaguely brought up changing my senior project and she blew up at me.

There was someone there named Uncle Grandfather. We had moonshine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Chris made friends with a goat.

I could really keep going all day.

Why would she blow up over that? I'm sure whatever your new project idea is, it's great. And it's your project right?

[...]

I have trouble understanding normal parents so ignore me if I sound idiotic.

It's everything I imagined and more.

Did you enjoy yourself?

She's [...] Oh no, you don't sound idiotic. Not at all.

It's the load of expectations she's developed for me over the years.
I'm supposed to be this potions whiz kid, not sketch and read star charts.
That sort of thing.
If I follow another path, I'm "wasting my talent."

Blaah.

Al ~~Also~~

Remind me to tell you everything next I see you. It will make up for my utter lack of planning for New Years.

I did. ~~It was better than being home~~

Well you still are a whiz kid. She should be proud of whatever you accomplish. And who says you can't be both, right?

I know I'm botching this up. I'm sorry.

[...]

Is there something else bugging you? Blah and cross outs are concerning.

YES. We'll swap tales. Not that mine are interesting at all. I think this has been the dullest break I've ever had.

She does.

Hey -- you're not.
It's nice just to be able to write and know you're on my side. xx

Oh. Um [...]
Penny things.
I tried to say hello, but she wants to be left alone.

I should've visited longer clearly. I bring all the fun.....said no one ever. But at least I'm decent company.

I'm sorry. That's rough. I really don't understand why it can't be what you want too. But I am on your side. Always.

[...]

Yeah. I gathered that. I haven't spoken to her since before the dance and she was pretty mad. I don't know what to do to make it better either.

You don't have to bring all the fun for people to truly like having you around. xx

I don't, either.
I guess [...] it'll all work out.
You know I'm on yours, too. ♥

It feels [...] not right? to just leave it alone, but it seems like something she has to work through on her own before we'd be any help. Maybe? I'm awful at this.

I suppose that's a good point. I do seem to be collecting more than my normal one person who likes having me around.

I'm sure it will. Maybe after some time you can try talking to her again and she'll listen?
I know you are. I appreciate it even if it's not always obvious.

I think the same thing. I don't like her being upset or knowing that I hurt her feelings but I'm really bad at this stuff, obviously. I don't know how to fix it.

Does that make you happy? xx

Maybe. I was thinking of showing her some of the patronus sketches I've been doing, but she didn't seem too thrilled. Time will tell, I guess. Dad's a little nicer about it all.

Exactly. It's not really something you can talk through, and it's [...] I don't know. I guess it's another thing for time to tell? I just wish it were easier. I don't want her to feel alone or isolated.

I don't know. Sort of? I'm not really sure I know how to be happy yet, honestly. But I feel like I'm getting there.

Is that your new idea? Something with the patronus charm? Maybe your dad will help convince your mom?

Right. I don't know. I don't want that either. Especially since I am the idiot who caused it.

That's okay. I think a lot of people feel the same way.

Sort of? I've been drawing people's patronus/animagus forms and animating them using charmwork. There's sort of an astrological component to it, too, but I haven't really had time to flesh it out yet. [...] Dad thinks it's cool, but he doesn't really know a lot about this stuff? I think he kind of just accepts mum's opinions.

It's not your fault, Ryan. It's not anyone's.
I mean --
The timing was just wrong, when she finally opened up to you.

'- so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.
'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.

I always imagined the Cat like a kneazle.

That's very vague.

Hope you're having a good break!

I think that's why I find it inspiring.

You too, An. xx
Will I see you at Cameron's?

I just read this book and it's the best!

But I assume I'm missing something here, Z?

Definitely a classic for a reason.

What? Oh no, I just like this bit. It's kind of uplifting in a weird way.

Can I help you?

Okay. Nevermind.

Did that more than answer your bullshit "you okay/how are you?" question?

I don't recall asking one.

Then why such the quick nevermind after I asked what you wanted?

Oh. I don't know -- you read a bit short to me then, and I thought you' might prefer to be left alone. That's all.

I would like for you to leave me alone.

Okay.

~~I'm s~~
~~Its~~

Not your fault, but. [...] I just can't, right now.

It's okay, Penny.
I understand.

~~No you don't because you get~~

I'm trying real hard not to go default bitch here so it's probably best I just go now.

I can respect that.

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