gooseberryhigh | [most of this is posted from inside a closet.]

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[most of this is posted from inside a closet.]

[WARDED TO JACOB]
bro
i'm in a closet
some shitass freshmen LOCKED me in a FUCKIN CLOSET
you've gotta get me out

and this isn't some fuckin gay joke bc homophobia's not a joke k
~~[WARDED TO CRICKET~~; each is a separate attempt to ward her.]where the fuck are you

hey crick sup
where u at

hey girl

sup

brolita help a bro out

you know those fuckin closet metaphors we talked about
it's not a fuckin METAPHOR rn
[WARDED PRIVATE]

this is some fuckin r kelly shit cept i don't have a fuckin gun or a wife or like
i dont wanna be in here for 33 chapters
its all weird n dark n shit n it's too hot

IT'S NOT A DUMBFUCK METAPHOR
a haiku by CASEY
trapped in a closet
by some dumbfuck freshmen twerps
what the shit to do

A FUCKIN LIMERICK ABOUT BEIN TRAPPED IN THIS FUCKIN CLOSET
a limerick by CASEY
there once was a bro called casey
last summer he fucked a girl called tracy
fuck this i'm bustin out like it's JAIL and i'm OUTTIE

[Casey proceeds to Kool-Aid Man his way out of the closet.]

[WARDED TO ROBIN]

where the fucks your shitass brother hang out ~~i'm gonna fuckin kill~~

[WARDED TO TESS & RAFAEL]

vector or some fuckin narc's gonna tell you i broke a door
it wasnt my fuckin fault
the fuckin door had it coming

and like don't worry about the fuckin white knights that made it happen either i've got them covered k

CASEY out

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...]

Why did you break a door, and what are you doing now?

it was in my way
DUH

and i'm takin care of some freshit dumbfucks

Stop. Stop, stop. Stop. Please do not "take care" of any freshmen.

What happened?

no but they asked for it tho
it's time for some vigilante justice bro
don't worry i'm like batman or w/e

Casey. We do not do vigilante justice. Do not go after any freshmen. Come report them to me, and they will get in trouble for... whatever it is that they did to you.

the doors THEIR fault

Why is the door their fault?

cos it's not mine

Take me step by step through what happened before you broke the door.

k like i had some fuckin yogurt for breakfast

[...]

Can we fast forward to about ten minutes before you broke a door?

FINE

youngfuck the fuckin younger and his dumbshit posse fuckin JELLY-LEGSED ME bc they know they can't fuckin take me
~~pussies~~

Why? Are you alright?

And I still don't know where the door comes into this.

cos they thought they're fuckin batman
WRONG DIPSHITS
I'M THE BATMAN

they shoved me in a fuckin closet n locked the fuckin door with some dipshit spell

but they didnt hex the door shut cos their dumbfucks
so i ~~wrote some poems about how i felt n then i~~ broke the fuckin door down
like a BOSS

Well, Batman, you will not be in trouble for freeing yourself even if a door was broken. That can be repaired.

We will report the freshmen to Ms. Vector. ~~What is wrong with freshmen?~~