(no subject)

[bubblewrapped]

My babcia said that when she was younger the boys used to throw cologne on the girls they had a thing for. Good thing no one thought to do that yesterday. Might've blinded someone. Also gross. All of campus smelling like axe body spray? Hard pass.

Comments

[odder]

If they'd done that, my retaliation buckets would've been boiling oil.
So no one get ideas for next year.

[bubblewrapped]

A really awful way to die

[...]

But they might deserve it.

[odder]

They'd definitely deserve it.
And being covered in Axe is a really awful way to live, so it would mostly be a mercy killing, anyway.

[bubblewrapped]

You're providing a service, really, if you think about it.

[stclair]

I'd take it.

[odder]

I suppose an autobiography of your own melted face might be a good film project...

[stclair]

That's one way to douse romance.

[bubblewrapped]

Nothing says I think you're neat like giving your crush a migrane I guess.

[lovelacing]

It probably would not be much worse than the entire campus smelling like squonk.

[bubblewrapped]

I wouldn't be surprised if some axe scents are made from squonk.

[lovelacing]

It is true that a lot of perfumes are made from not-so-pleasant animal products such as ambergris, musk and civet.

[bubblewrapped]

Yeah it's kinda sad. Poor animals have to pay so other people can smell fancy.

I hope the squonks aren't getting sent to a perfume processing plant.

I don't think Mrs. O'Hare would do that though. I hope not.

[evercreep]

That holiday is stressful enough without hoping that the person who fancies you has good taste in cologne.

[bubblewrapped]

Hard pressed to think someone actually liked me if they made me smelly. I don't want to walk around smelling like an Ambercrombie and Fitch do you even know what that is basil, sage and rubbing alcohol all day.

[magitechnically]

Did anyone GET you???

[bubblewrapped]

Collateral damage in the rampages of Bianca, Gabi and Micah. But no one for real. Not too broken up about it. What about you?

[magitechnically]

Well, there was TODD, but he also sprayed Pippa so I think he was just being SILLY.

But then someone ELSE spilled water on my head but they ran away too FAST. It wasn't YOU, was it???

[readingrainbows]

I don't THINK you'd go BLIND from cologne in the eyes, but I'm no healer. I'm glad we just use water, though.

HEY, did you know that in the Elizabethan era, people told their crushes they liked them by giving them an apple soaked in their sweat? BRING BACK THE PIT APPLE!

[bubblewrapped]

I'm not convinced. It might be defective cologne.

I am going to amend what I wrote to Micah:
Nothing says "I think you're neat" like bespoke sweat-brined apples.

Did they eat em or just look at em? Like a bouquet?

[readingrainbows]

SO glad you asked! Okay, okay, so it depends on where you were, but basically, you were supposed to put a whole, peeled apple under your armpit and then go to a dance for at least an hour. Your sweat DRENCHED the apple until it was permeated with sexy pheromones. Then, your lover would huff it until he was overwhelmed with LUST.

Powerful stuff! Poor King Henri III of France never knew what hit him...

[sylla]

So that's what they call that horrific stench. Axe.

[bubblewrapped]

It's practically chemical warfare.

[notacad]

Clashing scents, man. Migraines aplenty!

[bubblewrapped]

The things people subject themselves to in the name of love, huh?

[notacad]

Love, lust, you name it. It sends people nuts!