gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

[Warded to Hazel]

HAZEL HAZEL HAZEL, my shining light, my morning sun, my sparkling wit, I need you to tell me who the CUTEST BOY in our year is. I'm about to make a ward to all of them and I'll try to entrap one of them for Hazel smooches!!!!!!

....well I mean OBVIOUSLY the cutest one is me, so give me your second cutest. Or like, a TOP 5????

[Warded to Ree]

Do you think I come on TOO STRONG???

[Warded to Sophomore Boys]

Alright gentlemen, it's THAT TIME AGAIN!!! And by again I mean THE FIRST TIME because obv this is the first time we've ever worried about this because WHO THE HECK worries about prom dates in freshman year???? Like bizarrely precocious people, that's who. And now I kind of ruined my own joke but ANYWAY

PROM DATE PANIC!!!!

I fiiiiiinally have my list narrowed down to three and I'm CROWDSOURCING FOR OPINIONS because this is a tough choice, my dudes. There are WAY too many cute people in the school. But I was thinking:
HAZEL KEATING
PROS: mega hot, very bendy, great at backflips, hilarious, clever, low stress, likes to punch me

CONS: Like... none??? She's perfect???? Guys, seriously, WHY have none of you asked her out yet?????

CASH HOLCOMB
PROS: cute face, cutting wit, ~~I have a big stupid crush,~~ good taste in candy, keeps threatening to wear a tuxedo shirt

CONS: I've asked him like TWICE already and I'm preeeeetty sure three times is getting into ""RESTRAINING ORDER"" territory. :(

GABI FLORES
PROS: the most beautiful girl in sophomore year, really sweet, great to spend time with, I already have two Coppertales on this list so I should PROBABLY someone who's actually nice

CONS: Someone's probably asked her already??? Bash my buddy CONFIRM/DENY

VOTE NOW!!!!!

OH YEAH AND LIKE I should probably ask you guys who you're going to prom with???? WHO ARE YOU GOING TO PROM WITH??????

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The boys in our class are TOTAL IDIOTS and they need to GET A MOVE ON if they want a prom date ~~and also maybe stop getting crushes on boys who are COMPLETELY out of their league and who don't even LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU~~

OK so let's figure this out:

— TODD: Definitely gunning for Jade. She hasn't confirmed yet apparently??? That girl is HELLA WILY
— CASH: ~~I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW HE'D BE SO GOOD~~ Hmmmmmm yeah maybe you should ask Cash I think he's still free...............
— MILO: First of all, that's probably bullying, but ON THE OTHER HAND, if a prefect doesn't want to get you in trouble for it, it's probably OK???? Maybe punch him and check?????
— WYATT: Are you sure he doesn't want to go with Bash?? He keeps, like, hassling him???

Edited 2017-04-29 02:20 (UTC)

AGREED. Can you please tell them to do something about it?? Sophomore girls are suffering, dude. If they continue to be wieners I'm just going to rally the girls and make them all ask the boys.

Ok ok.

— TODD: Oh man he is probs all over that hard to get shit, but she's totally going to say yes
— CASH: I.... am actually supposed to be finding him a date. I think. I mean but.

[...]

Wait YOU SURE CROSSED SOME SHIT OUT THERE, MICAH. And got tiny writings.

Does somebody want to ask Cash to the dance~?
— MILO: I don't want to be a bully :( It's hard to find people who are ok with punching??? Or like. At least that don't take it bad. Also he maybe doesn't like me anyways??
— WYATT: Oh yeah good call!!! I thought Bash should go with Cash because they rhyme but, like, if someone else wants to take Cash, and Wyatt wants to take Bash, that sounds p legit.

Ugh, I should just go stag.

I'LL DO MY BEST!!!! Do you know which of the girls have dates already??? It's like trying to herd squonks to get these jerks to focus on TALKING ABOUT PROM.

— TODD: Do you know any girls who might be able to put in a good word for Todd????? Like, we NEED TO GET A MOVE ON here.
— CASH: Calvin thinks he likes me.
— MILO: I mean, maybe he's just never tried to get punched by a cute girl before??? MAYBE he won't know he likes it until he tries it????
— WYATT: I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHO'S GOING TO GO WITH CASH. CASH DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO GO TO PROM ANYWAY????? CASH AND BASH, HA HA, THAT WOULD BE CUTE RIGHT??????

Nonononononooo I am your bro and I am going to find you a prom date. Just sit tight I've got like FIVE single weenies in this ward and I'm getting answers out of all of them.

Omg ok ok. Issy asked Jeffy, annndd Pippa ASKED JAIME SHE IS A BEAST and I guess Jade -> Todd probs right?? Bianca is goin' with Oz (THEY ARE A THING??????). Is that it??? Maybe??

Micah, Ana needs a fuggin date like wtf why has no one asked her yet I'm kind of offended on her behalf >(

— TODD: ~~I don't really like Jade's friends~~ I made a joke with Ari once but I don't think that makes us friends?? I can maybe just like.. talk him up to Jade?? I'll try to be sneaky about it.
— CASH: Micah.
— MILO: Maybe?????? Micah. What if not all boys like getting beat up??? I mean, sometimes they have fear in their eyes when they look at me. I'm like 95% sure that like 95% of the sophomore boy class is scared of me and not in the good way.

To be fair I can beat like almost all of you up.
— WYATT: ...........................dude just ask Cash wtf are you doing.

Shhhhhhhh it's ok. But. ♥ You're the best, this is why you're my fav.

OK so top priority is Ana, then you. So far two of these boys have said IDK I WASN'T PLANNING ON GOING so lemme tell you, Haze, we've got our work cut out for us????

— TODD: Essie likes her right??? Maybe you can like GIRL CODE her into talking to Jade?????
— CASH: Hazel.
— MILO: First of all, true. I wouldn't fight you!!! Second... yeah??? Maybe???? I GUESS most boys seem to think that my predilection for getting abused by hot people is kinda weird but it's PRETTY FUN??? Anyway how about you just... not punch him??????
— WYATT: FFFFFF I'VE ASKED LIKE ~~SIX~~ SEVEN TIMES HAZEL I think it's bordering on desperate.

[...] ♥ You're my fave too, you know?

Dude like 2000% top priority is Ana obvs. ~~Everyone is all like having feelings about prom~~ I think she cares about it more than me??? So she like. Yeah. Get her some dates. I can boss the boys around but you can like, coax them or something? It's better than strong arming someone into taking her because that seems kinda bad???

Micah I like don't know what to do with you boys, asking people to dances is not that hard. You and I both rocked that shit.

— TODD: I FORGOT ~~because wtf Essie~~, I can legit get Essie to talk to Jade to talk up Todd~~y the Tiger~~
— CASH: Micah
— MILO: :/ but I want to go with someone I can like. Kinda. ~~Man handle~~ Be silly with you know? Aka punch.
— WYATT: Eighth time's the charm. 8) (Dude if Calvin thinks he's kinda into it trust him, he knows shit)

If I wasn't your fav there'd be hell to pay ♥

(no subject)

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