gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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So. That was an awesome night ~~that I may or may not remember~~!
But also: I am now totally a studmuffin.

[Warded to Bash]

My head will never feel normal again, will it? You have complete permission to smack me the next time I try to drink so much again.
Seriously though, thanks for not letting me die out in the Grotto last night and making sure I made it back to the cabin when I totally fell asleep on you.

I think I remember a good 70% of what happened. Uhh. Maybe 65%? It's definitely more than 50% though.
There were smooches! A lot of ~~wet~~ smooches!

Smooches between you and Lucas too y/y?
What happened in the closet, Bash my man.
Tell the expert, yours truly. I'll break it down ~~and overanalyse it~~ for you.

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You are definitely a stud muffin, Wyatt! It's a bear trait ;)

The cost of stud status is slow death the next day, though. You doing okay?

Thanks, Vee! You're totally awesome yourself too.

Uhhhh. I'm hanging in there. My head hates the rest of me at the moment. But hanging in there.

What'd you do to earn Studmuffin rank?

Smooches. Lots of them.

Edited (dammit random icon.) 2017-05-07 02:53 (UTC)

So everyone who played spin-the-bottle is now a Studmuffin too?

~~Uhhh.~~ Well, okay, but they were good smooches!

Who was your favorite smooch of the night?

~~You never give up do you~~
White flag, Charlotte. White flag. I remember that. Why can't you.

I never acknowledged your surrender.

Would it help if I added a 'please'?

Hmm... Maybe a "pretty please". Try it and see.

is this a trap
This feels like a trap

Preeeeetty please?

Hmmmm...

Okay!!

I acknowledge and accept your cowardly surrender. For now.

For now???

What do I need to do to get you to make that 'for forever', my beautiful goddess?

i'm pretty sure that's not how becoming a studmuffin works.

[Wyatt]

i ain't gonna smack you. i will gently advise you that you are making dumbass decisions, but if you want to go ahead with them that's totally your prerogative, dude.

i mean, i'll ALSO make sure you don't die and/or pass out in a ditch somewhere.

nothing happened in the closet. it was a closet. it was dark and small and definitely not a tardis.

Dude, it totally is. Did I mention the very awesome smooches?

[Bash]
Well okay, but for the record, smacks totally work better with me.

Thanks, you're the best!

Stop Doctor Who-ing me for a minute. I'm not actually interested in the closet. What happened with the nice-haired boy???

not up there.

but i'm still not sure that meets all of the qualifications.

[Wyatt]

i'll save those for special occasions.

nothing that warrants that many question marks! like - just cause i like boys doesn't mean that every other boy likes boys. or that the boys that do like me. that isn't how it works. it was a closet. i'm not gonna jump somebody just because we got a small amount of personal real estate.

It totally does.

[Bash]
I didn't say you had to jump him, Bash. I was asking about how his lips were. Was there a smooch??? Was there warm fuzzy feelings?

Was it, maybe, something we would wanna repeat? But you can tell me if he was a jerkface too. I would totally beat him up for you. ~~even tho lucas kinda looks like he'd wheeze and keel over~~

i don't believe you.

[Wyatt]

a lady doesn't hang out in a closet and tell.

and nobody was a jerkface. seriously, dude. don't beat anybody up. lucas is cool people.

Why you gotta hurt me like that, bro.

[Bash]
1. You are not a lady. You are a very cute boy.
2. Stop deflecting. Your wingman needs to know these things to do his wingman duties.

Okay, okay. I was just kidding! Mostly. Unless he really was a dickface. Then all bets are off.

Baaaaaaaaash. C'mon. Throw me a bone here.

Also: you would tell me if I did some kind of social faux pas that got Charlotte pissed off with me that she'd be on my tail right?

can't be helped. being a studmuffin is a rigorous process. you can't half ass that shit.

[Wyatt]

1. i can be a lady if i want to.
2. i'm not deflecting. i jumped no one. and no one was a dick. it's cool. and i don't really need to be wingmanned. i'm FINE. like legit 110% fine.

what'd you do to charlotte? like - and WHY? she could eat you alive and use your bones for toothpicks, dude.

Well what's the criteria then. I've got some rigorous processing to do.

[Bash]
1. That IS your choice. Trufax.
2. Well okay. But if you and Lucas did not smooch, what DID you guys do for seven minutes?

I didn't do anything!! Or at least, I think I didn't. I was kinda hoping you would know if I did do something stupid.

I know, right? She's totally awesome. Like scary awesome. But awesome all the same.

you think i know?

this right here probably only makes the minimum requirements for muffin. on a good day.

[Wyatt]

1. thank you.
2. we hung out in a closet.

i don't THINK i remember you doing anything especially stupid. sorry. that's totally unhelpful.

so you like girls that could consume you whole. good to know, dude.

Bash-bashing still not allowed, dude. You are totally awesome.

[Bash]
2. Doing what?

I don't remember either. But then again I only remember 70% of what happened. But between us both, I think we can count on your memory and say that I did nothing to set her off but somehow she's got it in her head that I am prey.

That is quite possibly a spot-on assessment. Though you can't blame me. You've seen the women in my life. Also your life. Also this school. Like 90% are scary and could probably eviscerate you with looks alone. Is it so surprising that my brain somehow thinks that's the only category acceptable for attractive now?

but muffins ARE awesome.

[Wyatt]

2. alterative olympic medal placements.

well, you do give off a very rabbit vibe. like - you could definitely be chased into a small dark space and never be seen again.

it could've gone either way, really. definite toss-up between wanting someone who could flay you alive and someone that's so sweet they're the human equivalent of cotton candy. you just fell on the masochistic side of the proverbial seesaw. and, hey. there's a bevy of terrifying women here. godspeed, dude.

...I can't actually argue with that.

[Bash]
2. Only you, Bash. Only you.

Not. Actually. Helping.

I'm still blamimg providence. All those years of constant 'fight or flight' in the presence of females conditioned my body to think that's the natural response. I can't change it now.

I think he's well on his way, Mr Bash!

The studiest of muffins, obviously.

I'm no expert. But yes, the absolute studdiest. Studdliest? I like how that sounds. Let's go with that.

Let's go with studliest. I think that one is actually a word.

[Wyatt]

Alright fess up.

When did you have your first kiss?

Studliest it is!

[Sam]
~~what is it with the girls in this school and difficult questions~~
Uhhhh. Do I have to?

It suits you.

[Wyatt]

Yes?. Yes you do.

With all the kissing going on at this school, you can't throw a stone without hitting a "studmuffin".

I am okay with sharing the studmuffin title! It is a totally shareable thing. Sharing is caring and all that jazz.

There is a great deal of sharing around here. Spit, mostly.

Calvin! That's a horrible way of putting it. But also kind of true. Maybe that's how our plague rates at this school are so high.

I feel like I'm a stud muffin too. So it was a successful night.

Milo! I'm happy for you, my man. Truly happy.

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