gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

I hope my grave stone says, "A wonderfully luscious-haired friend."

That can be arranged!!
But morbid questions aside: what are you intentions towards prom??

Intentions? Huh. Not to bring it back around to morbid but mostly I want to get out of this forest before an elk monster kills me.

[...]

Hang out with my friends, too, I guess. Almost everyone is going.

[...]
No, bro. Your intentions about a date.

Oh. I didn't have any. [...] Why?

Because prom is just around the corner!!
And it might be time to start thinking about a date?!
Like, for example, how about a date with a bumbling, very awkward, but also very sweet other boy in our year?

~~Man, are you asking me to pro~~

Are you and Essie in cahoots, now?

[...]

Okay. I am presently thinking about it.

[...]

If someone actually wanted to go with me, I'd do it.

Cahoots is such an ugly word. I prefer to think of it as gentle nudging. ~~God knows nothing would happen if we left it to you and Bash alone~~

~~Ugh. You and Bash seriously.~~ Everyone would be honoured to have you as a date!!! Okay but this is encouraging.

This may or may not be related. What are your thoughts on awkward people in general??? No-no? General fondness???

Look at who you're asking. If I didn't like awkward people, how could I live with myself?

You could BE awkward and still hate awkwardness tho.

Plus, you're not THAT awkward. Look at the boys in our whole year: I'd call it blending in and not awkwardness per se.

I'm too self-aware for that.

Putting me in the median is a bit of a drag on our class, man, but thanks for the compliment.

There's always me to take the last spot. I think median is just right.

But I digress. General warm, fuzzy feelings for awkward boys: y/n?

Um. Huh. ~~I don't really~~ ~~I'm not~~ I'm not really a warm, fuzzy feelings person? But, sure, a lot of my friends are awkward guys [...] obviously.

[...]
Correction: Hypothetically, if an awkwardly sweet boy were to ask you to prom you would be open to accepting him as a date, yes?

Edited 2017-05-23 04:36 (UTC)

Yeah. ~~Probably.~~

[...]

[...]

But. Okay. ~~Don't put a gun to Bash's head, that'd ruin~~ Only if he actually wanted to. And isn't coerced.

GOOD TO KNOW.
Awesome, Lucas, pal, buddy. You are AWESOME.
Message received. Wink wink, etc.
~~now to get Bash to cooperate.~~

nope.

But you haven't even heard what I have to say yet!

you're using excessive capitalization. ain't nothing good that comes from that direction.

Well I'm going to say this anyway. And I say this with as much love as possible: Bash, my dearest bro, you need to grow a pair and ask Lucas to prom!!!

I have it on good authority that your chances of success are 99.99%!!

Edited 2017-05-23 23:19 (UTC)

a pair of what? begonias? i mean, their standard germination period is around 12 to 14 weeks, so i'm definitely late to the game if you're expecting a pair before prom. deepest apologies.

also: these are outrageous odds. where are you getting your percentages from?

[...]

Stop obfuscating bro, I'm not going to fall for it.

I have to protect my source! Which means I'm not telling you where I got my percentages from. But you just have to trust yours truly because it is super good authority.

Seriously, Bash: prom is literally days away. Do you feel just the slightest bit warm and fuzzy about Lucas? Because if you do, I think this is a perfect opportunity to ask! Do it over the journals, face to face, or even carrier pigeon I don't care. But I think you two could really be cute together!!!

dude, it's a real pity we don't take the SATs up here. you're killin it with the vocab today.

you're not the times, man. "protect my source." christ on a cracker. thanks, walter cronkite. i'd attempt a subpoena, but the germination period on THAT's probably too long.

~~i ju~~ ~~it's not tha~~ i dunno. look, lucas is super funny. like in that sahara sort of way where he's smart as shit and probably has the ability to make people cry and/or question their own intelligence whenever he talks to them. but i LIKE being friends with people. and i don't want to NOT be friends with people anymore because i say stupid shit and am actually super grating over long periods of exposure and i don't actually know how well that translates to going on dates with people? not that going to prom with somebody is dating them. it's prom. not my big fat gypsy wedding. (which is probably a bit racist. though - is it racist if they're the ones calling themselves gypsies? it's very confusing to me. as are their dresses, but that's another topic of discussion entirely.) but i feel like i'm JUST getting okay at being quiet enough to not annoy the shit out of people in a friendly way?

Edited 2017-05-24 01:49 (UTC)

I know, right?

I have journalistic integrity okay Bash!! Even though I'm not even publishing anything. Except for my replies to you. I feel like these are essays in their own right.

But okay serious talk, bro: it's precisely because it's just prom (not even our own) that I feel like this is an okay thing? I mean, you don't have to give yourself any pressure! Lucas is smart and awesome. So are you. (I SAID HUSH! SO ARE YOU!) So just see if anything comes out of it? Like it's JUST prom. If it doesn't work out you could just handwave it all and forget about it. You don't even have to DO anything really. Just see if Lucas likes extended exposure to you maybe?? Because I kind of really feel like he might?! Also, Lucas is a real bro. Who has been exposed to you ENOUGH TIMES, lbr. He knows the kind of person you are and he is STILL friends with you. And the good friend type too. That has to count for something?? I doubt you being you at prom would suddenly make him NOT want to be friends.

my mom would be so proud of you.

the words serious and talk in that order make me break out into hives, i'm just letting you know. (and seriously. why are we even invited to prom? we're sophomores. is this normal? is this a rich person school thing? PLEASE CLARIFY.) you can't handwave me being a disaster. that stays. it colors already poor opinions of my admittedly lacking social skills. people who make casual references to poe while in closets are a very different brand of smart than people who know the current going rate for the lego millennium falcon on ebay. (which, on a particularly good day, can net you a solid three thousand. jsyk.)

i mean, yeah. i could totally be a bolder and more self-confident version of myself who takes chances and just sees how things go. OR i could never say anything, we could all continue on learning absolutely nothing about ourselves, and eventually we'll all die and our bodies will disintegrate back into the earth!

Dude. I don't even know. Maybe?? This is definitely not a normal school thing. But we're a magic school so that doesn't qualify as normal really? Okay but also: you totally caught his reference so that means you guys DO work! And nobody needs the exact same brand of smart as themselves really. If everyone dated a carbon copy of themselves, the world would be a very boring place.

[...]
Guess which option I am NOT letting you go for?
Seriously, tiny steps! This is a good thing!!!!!!!!
Do I gotta owl Ariel about this to get her on my side? Because I am terrified of the woman. But I will do it if it gets you to see sense!!

i am not a brand. i am the knockoff shit you get at the scary flea market. but at least i am like SUPER cheap, so you can also afford to get some terrible sunglasses and one of those ridiculous t-shirts with stupid sayings on them after.

fuck.

no need. i will pen ariel's reply for you: Dear Wyatt, Tell Guppy to shut his stupid yap and get over himself. He was given explicit instructions to not be such a fucking disaster anymore. Tell him to reference this and nut the fuck up. ♥ Ariel

will that suffice?

You are NOT a knockoff geez. You ARE awesome. You just refuse to see it. God knows why.

Quite. Now the question is: are you going to take this tiny baby step or am I going to have to put a knife at your back the whole way??

let me use my metaphors, wyatt. i cope with my life through increasingly elaborate metaphors. and awful flea market sunglasses are the SHIT, i have no idea what you're complaining about here.

that's an incredibly violent alternative.

Okay. But not at the expense of self-bashing geez. We talked about this.

Oooor. You could put on your big boy pants and do this on your own and there will be no violence involved!!

also: that's LITERALLY my name, i'll have you know. i am just living up to my destiny.

i hate you you're the worst.

You DON'T HAVE TO.

You love me. I drive 90% of your social growth.

that's what destiny's FOR, wyatt.

my social growth was doing just fine. it has a standard germination period of around 12 to 14 weeks.

But what's in a name, really?

Stop germinating dude. Start living!! Are you going to ask or am I going to have to write you a script?

a bunch of consonants and generally at least one vowel.

shut up, it's not my fault that i have to write out phone conversations before i have them.

We have that in common. The only one vowel thing.

I didn't say it was. Dude, I'd be happy to help you write a script. But I also feel like Lucas would be more inclined to say yes just based on general you-ness.

Go for it, Bash! I will be here, cheering avidly!!

though, really, you've got like one and a half. and if you could my actual name i've got four.

me-ness is very bad for linear thought progression.

and, anyway, we all still might die before then. eaten tragically by the forest before we even get to go to prom.

Y doesn't count, really.

Well, but if we DON'T. I am EXPECTING SOMETHING.

that's why it's only counts for half. y's recreationally a vowel. a diet vowel, if you will.

i'm notoriously bad at living up to expectations.

(no subject)

Wyatt

Wyatt/Lucas

Wyatt/Lucas

Wyatt/Lucas

Wyatt/Lucas (I am sorry he is such a shitbird)

Wyatt/Lucas (shussshh you. he's adorbs)

Wyatt/Lucas

Wyatt/Lucas - lmfao. I totally called it/set you up for that.

Wyatt/Lucas - I had to take the bait

Wyatt/Lucas - I am very pleased with the awkwardness that ensues.

Wyatt/Lucas

Wyatt/Lucas

Wyatt/Lucas

Wyatt/Lucas - lucas you are making Wyatt headbash so much. be proud.

Wyatt/Lucas - This is why you should never let a cagey person play a cagey character

Wyatt/Lucas - pshaw. it's all in the name of good fun. wyatt is throwing confetti here.

Wysh

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Wysh