gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

I'm ok with weird.

What's up.

Okay, obviously you don't have to tell me anything personal you don't want to, but from one person slightly younger than their boyfriend to the other [...] have you and Zav talked about [...] after graduation? ~~Am I being stupid for not wanting to bre~~

This is definitely not the weirdest question I've been asked.

[...] But yeah. We have. We're going to try the long distance thing I think.

I'll have to try harder next time. Like have you ever wondered what your hand tastes like?

Okay, cool, good. I like you guys together.

[...] I kind of assumed Chris and I would break up but [...] now I don't know if I want to. Or which is the dumber thing to do.

Not anymore because I just licked it.

Thanks. I'm happy with him.

[...] Neither's dumb. Like... you and I aren't great at relationship shit right? It's not like we get serious with lot of people for kicks. I didn't get together with Zav just to break up with him. What's the point. [...] Does that make sense?

Well don't leave me hanging, what's it taste like?

Right. Yeah. It makes sense.

[...] I get worried he'll ~~get bored and~~ meet someone who's conveniently not at boarding school who he doesn't need an owl to talk to.

Or that a lot of people say long distance relationships never work for a good reason ~~like we'll realize we don't have any chemistry through letters and~~ and we'll find out those reasons three months in and it'll be harder than breaking up over the summer would be.

[...] But I guess negative thinking is kind of my forte.

Kind of salty. Not worth it for a stupid joke.

[...] I know. Me too. But I don't want anyone else. I don't know what to do besides just [...] deal with it you know? Everyone says it'll be hard but whatever. Everything is fucking hard and I keep doing it anyway so what's one more bullshit thing. At least this one'll feel like it's worth it.

That's the most relatable thing you've ever said, dude. Everything is fucking hard, and it's not like that'll be the only bullshit thing added to our plates next year. Senior projects probably won't feel as worth it in comparison.

At least we still have the summer, right?

Definitely won't be as worth it. Next year we can go to the dances together and watch all the happy couples. No big deal.

Yeah. Got any plans with him?

We're gonna be so smug watching some perfect couple break up at prom, knowing our significant others are too far away to piss us off right now.

No. Not really. I don't know, I don't really want to grace him with the misfortune that is meeting my parents, but I'm also not great at just [...] taking off. Maybe I can just force him into all Los Angeles-based adventures. What about you guys?

Write Chris a letter telling him about it. He'll love it.

My parents want to meet Zav. I think they're pretty excited I might not die alone. It's going to be a weird summer. Need to tell them I can turn into a swan too. [...] I'll find some excuse to get to LA to see you and Sy too.

Hey

Hey. How's your senior project looking?

Probably technically done but it's an invention so it's never gonna be like done done

Why?

There's just [...] not a whole lot of time left before the end of the year.

I know. I started my project freshman year. It's stupid to wait until senior year to start something. A year isn't really that much time.

[...]

~~wait~~

I still don't even know what mine is. But I'm not building or inventing anything, so at least I've got that going for me.

[...]

Your graduation is two weeks away.

[...]

I know. It's [...] it's coming up.

[...]

You got something to say.

[...]

[...]

[...]

What do we ~~you~~ we want to do about next year?

[...]

[...]

Kinda figured we'd just [...] you know. Keep doing what we're doing now.

That's hilarious. Until, like, a week ago, I kind of just assumed we'd break up at the end of summer.

[...] I kinda assumed we wouldn't.

If we did, you'd miss out on all the infuriating owls I'm gonna send with just the word hey. Do you wanna miss out on that?

This should probably be a lesson in communication.

I'm really looking forward to you exhausting my poor owl with inane conversation, but [...] realistically, how much do you actually want to date someone stuck in boarding school? Who you can only see over Christmas and spring break. And not even that much at Christmas and spring break because she has very controlling parents.

I don't know. Like realistically, did you actually expect us to date for six months? If we don't break up, then it's dating someone stuck at boarding school for nine months. If we don't break up, then it's choosing to date somebody stuck at boarding school for nine months after already dating her for nine months.

I'm not Levi. I don't have dreams of getting married and adopting dogs and moving to a farm or whatever the fuck. I'm not delusional about our situation. Historically, my track record with dating is kinda shitty because I haven't lasted two months before, with anybody but you. I don't want to throw that away by being a pussy and saying that we might as well break up because you're back to school and I'm not.

Realistically, I think we can do whatever the fuck we want to, and I want to do this. I want to at least try.

It's going to be hard as fuck, Christopher. You'll be in the outside world, with actual people. ~~You might meet someone else who~~ We won't even have journals or any other way to instantly communicate. The only way we can talk is through owls, and if you're somewhere like Boston those are going to be some tired fucking owls.

I don't want to break up. I just want to be ready for how shitty this is going to be sometimes.

Then we'll talk through owls, Ro. We'll write long hand like we still live in the 1800s. Every conversation will start like

To my dearest Rosemary,

Hey.

Every letter will be two weeks out of date and we won't get to challenge eachother to stupid shit like climbing the ornery oak.

I'm leaving school, but I'm not leaving you behind. We went through some shit together. We fucking earned this. I'm not robbing us of this because it'll be hard.

[...]

My senior project is a doomsday device I made because of Robin. So at the end of the world, instead of scavenging for shit you get this kickass bottomless bracelet that has all of your basic necessities already in it. But it's also got a homing beacon. It can read the other person's heartbeat, so you know they're still alive if you get separated because of zombies or some shit. It pulses to the beat of their heart. It has a mechanism you can hit if you're trouble.

When I leave, I'm giving you one of them. We don't have an instaneous way of communicating, but [...] I don't fucking know, we have a homing beacon.

Edited (Idk I retconned half his project I don't care ) 2017-06-07 17:49 (UTC)

Are you giving me one because we live in a nightmare hellscape school where you might get lost on familiar path in the woods, or because you think it's romantic to feel each other's heartbeat?

Because we do go to nightmare school.

[...]

Just don't fall in love with anyone else out there.

Both. [...] it also has flint. Incase you need to start a fire. And if you dip it in water - like stick your whole hand in water, the bracelet changes color, to tell you how safe the water is to drink. I brainstormed the fuck out of this project. Also changes color to tell you how safe the air is.

[...]

I won't.

[...]

Don't fall in love with anybody in here.

Guess I'm ready for next year's Hunger Games then.

You see the pool of potential love interests. There might be an exchange student or two, but we're not in a lot of danger there. Unless the day finally comes where Casey nods and says "sup" and I realize I've never heard such beautiful poetry.

[...]

I love you.

It's taken me this long to say that to you, it'd be like pulling teeth getting me to say it to anyone else.

I just wanna make sure nobody tries to pull your teeth to get you to say it to anyone else. I love you. I'm not interested in changing that. But I don't want to force you, either. Nine months is a long time. If shit happens, you can let me know.

[...]

But I also want you to know that shit isn't gonna happen on my end. I'm not going out into the real world to start some shit with someone else.

[...]

If some shit did happen, and you let me know, I'd accept it though. Unless it's Patterson. If it's Patterson, I'll come back to this school and murder him.

(no subject)

Rosy

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