gooseberryhigh | ↠ Tuesday, October 11, 2013

[Warded to Coppertale Quidditch]

K, I know everyone's got their fuckin dander up about Ramirez's shitwaffle rules and this dumbass knife psycho, but if you haven't all forgotten, we've got actual important shit to deal with this month. October 23, us versus Ebonhide. (And I swear to fuck, if any of you talk about that irrelevant shit in this ward, I'm benching you next game.)

Barringer, Guthrie, Velasquez and Wainwright: this is your first year playing your position on the team proper, so you need to be working your asses double-time to learn how the hell we do things. I want blood on the fuckin grass (or snow, if we're looking at snow, which we probably are, fuck Utah), and if it's not the other team's, I'll take yours, no problem. Turner and Park: you know what we're about. Let's show our newbies Coppertale courtesy.

I've booked the pitch for for this week and next week: Tuesdays and Thursdays, 4:30 PM sharp. You've got clubs? I don't give a fuck. The only club that matters until our game is Quidditch, and if you've got a fuckin problem with that, you can get off this fuckin team right now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You know, if Ramirez had just written his list while channeling your tone, a lot fewer people would've complained.

There's just something charming about your tone.

What did I just fuckin say, Chris?

You want me to repeat it all? Because that was a lot of words, even for you, Sy.

Fuck you too. Just tell me your reading comprehension is up to shit and you'll be there.

Yeah, yeah, of course I'll be there, like no shit, boss.

(no subject)

threatens - 2016-10-13 03:07 (UTC) - Expand

bambae - 2016-10-13 03:08 (UTC) - Expand

Aye aye, captain.

In that spirit, is there anyone willing to go to the pitch with me extra and toss quaffles at me?

Girl, any time you want to be savaged, I will gladly beat your ass with Quaffles.

Except not always in the evenings because Fiori's an obsessive asshole and booked the pitch a ton too. Tell you what, hand me your timetable during today's practice and we'll figure out when we can grab some extra time.

[...]

This isn't me hitting on you, it just sounds like it because I'm an asshole. For real, all the extra practice you want, I'm down for it. I'll drag Reid into it too. He's a lazy fuck but he could improve his aim.

What. You didn't ask me.

I mean I would. But still.

ANY TIME I ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING, YOU SAY NO.

You don't ask you just yell.

threatens - 2016-10-13 03:35 (UTC) - Expand

cygninae - 2016-10-13 03:37 (UTC) - Expand

bambae - 2016-10-13 03:51 (UTC) - Expand

Please? I don't want to look like a chump and botch my first game.

Yeah okay. I want to help. Whatever you need.

[....]

Oh yeah I know. I'm not the type. The hitting on type [....] or whatever. So I didn't think you were.

I'll give you my timetable and we can figure out a time. The more the merrier. I want to do well.

Why the hell not? You're on the best goddamn Quidditch team in the school now. These weak as shit boys should all be checking you out.

Great. Coppertale's tough on newbies, but we know how to fuckin win.

Thanks, boss. I guess I just focus too much on Quidditch? A girls gotta have priorities.

Hell yes. Bring it on, I can take it. Winning is what we should be here for.

threatens - 2016-10-13 03:56 (UTC) - Expand

overturn.insanejournal.com - 2016-10-15 21:44 (UTC) - Expand

Reid needs the practice just as much as she does. Just name the time and I'll be there too to really get things going.

Wait.

The next fuckin words outta your mouth better be "this makes sense, aye aye captain."

...Or your quill. Pen. Shit.

Doesn't make sense though.

What about Saturday?

What the fuck about Saturday? Practice at 10:30 in the morning. Same as since freshman fuckin year.

You're not going to be there.

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bambae - 2016-10-13 03:50 (UTC) - Expand

Oh, is that when the match is? Good thing you brought it up or I would've forgot the whole damn thing.

Everyone on this team is a fuckin comedian. I'm seriously starting to reassess which one of you I want playing next week.

You want me cause you wanna win and I'm the only other seasoned chaser.