gooseberryhigh | POST-POST-APOCALYPTIC EXPERIENCE COMPOUND BBQ

POST-POST-APOCALYPTIC EXPERIENCE COMPOUND BBQ

Now, it ain’t every day Doc Youngblood lets outside folks onto the Compound. You gotta be worthy, you gotta prove yourself, you gotta like solve some goddamn escape room puzzles and shit.

Or you just gotta have a damn good story to tell him.

Which is, presumably, how these fuckos found their way past the SECURITY SYSTEM and onto the sovereign soil* that is the Youngblood Compound. So gather ‘round this damn barbecue and tell ol’ Doc some bangers, or else he’s throwing your asses out for being too BORING and not appreciating your APOCALYPTIC EXPERIENCES enough.

* Not actually sovereign soil, please actually obey the majority of the laws.

HOW THIS WORKS

I got really lazy with this.

The legal drinking age on the Compound is Fuck You I Do What I Want, just don't fucking die or lose any limbs here kiddos.

If you die on the Compound, you die in Real Life.

» BBQ CENTRAL: Doc is supposedly cooking, but every time he turns away from the grill you realize he’s just been pretending and it’s kind of taking care of itself. Don’t ask what’s cooking, though. You’ll never get the truth, but you will definitely be told you’re eating a coyote and croc hot dog. Tell Doc exaggerated stories about your time in the fake apocalypse! Hang out with a goat!! Have a weird stare down with some dude who never says a word but everyone swears is the funniest fucker here!!!

» SOME FUN ASS SHIT: Look, coming up with Redneck RNG Games is hard, so here’s the deal: if something sounds fun, do it, but don’t die. If you’re bleeding out on the kitchen floor, Mama Blood will absolutely make you clean that shit up before you die. There’s almost definitely a filthy pond for you to jump in, trees to climb, nails to step on, hillbilly gold to dig up. If you wanna play some drinking games it can probably happen here, this is a lawless wasteland.

» ROBIN’S ROOM: Y’all should probably stay the night if you been drinking. Robin’s room is basically a garden shed out back that got converted to a super janky bedroom, but it’s separate from the house and it has internet access and all the consoles.

» OOC - Questions, comments, concerns! You guys should have a lot of concerns.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Tess had volunteered to help with the cooking, but mostly she wanted to poke around and try to decide if they were really eating crocodile and coyote. In truth, most of the food was cooking itself. She still wasn't totally used to cooking with magic, ingredients flying everywhere and meat flipping itself.

"You would not believe the shit we saw," Tess says, though she never ever expected to be able to seriously say that to a man who currently had a spatula prosthetic attachment.

"Girl, you would not believe the shit I don't believe," Doc says, flipping a burger that then stubbornly flips itself back. It wasn't done yet. "I dare ya to try me."

"Well, first, a white forest spirit-ghost-demon thing, who is sometimes shaped like a moose, kidnapped half the school and put them in some sorta magical coma. Then his brother, the black forest spirit-ghost-demon moose, decided to help out by kidnapping most of the rest of the school and dumping us in the woods in an alternate reality hellscape in our pajamas so we could rescue the first bunch," Tess says, gesturing with one hand and turning a "boar" hotdog with the other. "And that was the beginning of the night."

"MOTHERFUCKER," Robin shouts and hucks his controller across the room. "Fuck Rainbow Road, you just gonna take your damn ass time fishin' me back up here, ain't you?"

Robin really sucks at Mario Kart.

"Womp womp womp, shithead, Tess replies with a laugh, zooming past him on rainbow road. "Thought you were hot shit, pulling ahead, huh?"

Bowser is driving the wrong way on the track. "I don't think I have this right," Dimi says.

"Doing better than Robin, at least you're on the track," Tess replies with a smirk.

Edited (Dimi is me playing Mario Kart) 2017-07-13 01:03 (UTC)

"This game's fuckin' rigged," Robin says with a humph as he drags his ass up to pick up the controller he threw. There's a new crack on it. Should be fine if he just covers it with more duct tape. "Fuck that damn blue shell."

"The blue shell is an important-" Tess pauses, tackling a difficult turn. "An important metaphor for the way society should function, okay. It's an equalizer."

"Equalizers only exist for assholes too slow to keep up," Chris says. He may or may not be just a hit touch slower than Tess.

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT." Robin spent a grand total of eight seconds back on the track. "That shit's YOUR FAULT." Whose fault is it? Everyone's.

"What's this do?" Dimi launches another blue shell.

Dimi is rewarded with a very vehemently echoed, "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT," from Chris as he careens off the track.

Tess busts out laughing so hard that she steers right off the track, leaving Dimi in the lead. She doesn't care. It's so worth it.

i'm sad i didn't find enough gifs to have a ridic gif for each of these comments

i had to physically restrain myself from replying to the post while you were setting up because the original gif made me so CRAZY oh my GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??? DO YOU WANNA BREAK YA NECK

IT LOOKS LIKE SO MUCH FUN

thank u for using the dirt bike swing as a temp gif though

also I can't remember if I mentioned it but my grandpa was a west virginia coal miner that everyone called Doc and so Robin's dad fills me with all the joy.

i would call that an amazing coincidence but maybe it wasn't so accidental

POST-POST-APOCALYPTIC EXPERIENCE COMPOUND BBQ

BBQ CENTRAL

BBQ CENTRAL

BBQ CENTRAL

Re: BBQ CENTRAL

SOME FUN ASS SHIT

ROBIN'S ROOM

MARIO KART

MARIO KART

MARIO KART

MARIO KART

MARIO KART

MARIO KART

Re: MARIO KART

MARIO KART

MARIO KART

Re: MARIO KART

MARIO KART

OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!