gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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[Warded to Cecil]

Okay, Riley has to stay with Katya who's having a panic attack, and honestly I don't think Essie should be in there anyway. It'd just scare her more. I'd go be with her but I'm trying to check around the campsite and trails.

So, uh, I'll ask you what I asked Riley: please look after my little sis and convince her no one is dying, especially not me. You're my number one guy, xoxoxoxo

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Of course I'll check in with Essie, but where are you? Jesse and I have been trying to check the camp and do a headcount, but half the camp is gone. Is Levi with you? Is Quinn? Or Addy?

You need to come back. This isn't safe.

I'm sorry.

I'm just sorry about everything. I just wanted to be useful and show everyone that no one was lurking around so they could sleep easier. All I do is make your life harder, but that's the last thing I ever want.

~~I know you're with Levi now, but I've been thinking a lot, and I think I might be in love with you. I don't know when it changed but~~

[Intentional ink blot, disguising the previous statement.]

Shit, sorry, I'm sleeping on a couch tonight.

I'll make all this up to you somehow. Still best friends?

Diego. It's all right. Of course we're still best friends.

I just. [...] After I knew what happened to Katya and I couldn't find you guys, I was scared. I understand wanting to chase after this guy, but rushing into something like that is dangerous and then you guys weren't answering and I thought something might've happened. ~~I thought~~ Just [...] think next time, okay? Please.

[A small, clear drop shows on the page, though it's quickly smudged, like someone tried to wipe it away.]

I know you need to be with Essie right now, but I can see you tomorrow, right? ~~I just need to see you.~~

I know, but I wanted to help, and it seemed like the best thing to do at the time. There wasn't ever any danger, it's just someone doing a stupid prank, but the whole camp was so upset. And for once, I wasn't the one losing it, and I felt like I needed to look out for everyone. Usually I just sit around uselessly while you and Levi get things done. But then when I decide to do something, it just blows up in my face.

Ugh. Anyway.

I'll be back first thing in the morning to kick Chris out of my bed. Then you won't be able to get rid of me. How're you holding up?

We think these are pranks, Diego, but we don't know anything for certain. After everything that's happened, we can't afford to treat this like it's nothing, especially when things just seem to keep getting worse. [...] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to [...] I know you were just trying to take care of your friends. I love you for that. I just wish all of this could have gone differently.

No offense to Chris, but that'll be good. It doesn't feel right over here without you. And I'm [...] all right. Tense and a little shaken up, I guess, but all right. I'm sure things will look better in the morning.

Are you okay?

~~Don't say you lo~~ I didn't make prefect for a reason, but I was taking it seriously. If I didn't think it was a big deal I wouldn't have gone. I don't know, it just ended up a mess, maybe there was no way we could have stopped it. Thanks for taking the time to look out for Essie. Seriously. I know you were busy and I didn't want to ask you but Levi was going with me, and sometimes you two are the only ones I know I can dump this kind of shit on.

They will. It'll be okay, Cecil. I promise.

Oh, yeah, I'm good. This loveseat is way too small to sleep on, though. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow.

I [...] should've had the sense to go to Mr. Merrill before now. Maybe that would've stopped it. But I thought this was just pranks, cruel but not dangerous, you know? I thought we could handle it by being more observant and patrolling more, but I was wrong. Being a prefect doesn't mean your judgement's right all the time either.

I don't know how much I actually helped, but I care about Essie too. I'll always make time for her. And I wasn't that busy, anyway. Once. Mr. Calderon-Boot got here, it was just the headcount ~~and waiting~~ and trying to keep everyone calm.

I know. [...] I know they will. Thanks, Diego.

Yeah. You probably will be. But you'll still sleep better there with Essie than you would here tonight anyway, right?

Cecil, tonight wasn't about any of that. Catching the guy was not in the picture. It never was. Katya panicked, then everyone panicked, and now here we are. That's not something you could have fixed or controlled. You're an amazing guy but no one is that amazing. Don't take on so much.

Just saying you'd do it for me helped. It was a very Head Boy thing to do. Basically the perfect crossroads of Head Boy, beloved friend, and a decent human being.

Yeah, and so will she. Don't die of loneliness without me. Although you've got Levi there so you'll probably be fine. ;)

~~But it's my job to~~

[...]

Then, I'm glad. That it helped. Head Boy, beloved friend, and decent human being is generally the aim these days.

I'll try. I think Levi's already asleep, though. Like we should be, I guess?

[...]

You're still down on yourself, aren't you? You're not letting me tease you and you're getting quiet.

Get some sleep, Cecil. I think you did a good job, for what it's worth.

No. No, I'm just tired.

[...]

Thanks, Diego. You get some rest too. I'll see you in the morning.

Okay. And, uh, congratulations. About you and Levi. One day I'll find the words to say how happy I am without sounding creepily over-invested in your love life.

Goodnight, Cecil.

We haven't really talked much since then, have we? But [...] thanks. It's still sort of surreal, how quickly everything changed, but in a good way. It feels like one of the only good things that's happened lately too, you know?

Sorry. I didn't mean to ramble. And there's nothing creepy about it; you're just a good friend.

Goodnight, Diego.

You deserve good things. I'd never do anything to jeopardize that.

[And after that, he stops responding and hopefully actually sleeps.]

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(no subject)

Diego/Cecil

Diego/Cecil - Written after Diego assumes Cecil is asleep.

Diego/Cecil - Written not long after, because Cecil isn't doing much sleeping tonight.

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Diego/Cecil

Diego/Cecil

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Diego/Cecil

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