gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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I feel like Horatio was maybe a little overly casual about what happened to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

UM which ones are those guys??? I don't know who was who I just know a lot of people DIED?!?

The guys who didn't even get to die on stage. Which is honestly rude when three-fifths of that play is just protracted death scenes.

Oh okay, but like, if you don't ACTUALLY see them die, then how do you KNOW they're DEAD??? Like they could've TOTALLY faked their own deaths??? Maybe they realized like EVERYONE was dying so they faked their deaths so they could go off and be VAMPIRE HUNTERS instead??? At least, that's what I would do.

The probably wrote the letter to Horatio themselves.

"Dear Horatio,
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are super dead, they certainly didn't run off to be vampire hunters and/or get married. Please never look for them.
Sincerely,
Joesencrantz and Billdenstern"

Man Joesencrantz and Billdenstern never write unless it's bad news.

There's no other kind when you're in a Shakespeare play.

Who knows, maybe someone wrote Ophelia a really nice thank you note for all those flowers she was handing out. Unfortunately, they procrastinated and she was already halfway up that willow tree by the time it was in a courier's hands. Alas, should have done it anon.

married vampire hunters joesencrantz and billdenstern sound like a good time. i'd watch that play.

A scene in which they read about some vague tragedy befalling the Danish royal family comes back to literally bite them in the end when they have to fight the fanged Laertes, now inexplicably sporting a leather jacket and greased down hair.

okay, i was joking before? but i am actually really down for hamlet 2: now there's vampires. especially if the vampires are inexplicably greasers.

I hope we've just inspired the spring production.

or we can just improv workshop it.

Vampire hunting Joesencrantz and Billdenstern can only be improved by improvisation.

i was going to say improveitization, but that would just be taking it too far.

Getting a little corporate retreat with that lingo. Sounds like something you do after a paradigm shift.

This is my safe space, no synergy allowed.

Discord only. I'll be sure to touch base with you in a few days.

I'd watch the HELL out of that play. No pun intended, I think.

maybe a little bit intended. an acceptable amount of intention.

Almost needs to be intended, honestly.

are married vampire hunters joesencrantz and billdenstern greasers too?

Recovered greasers.

Now they're country music fans.

depending on the quality of the country music, they may or may not deserve to be eaten by vampires.

They each like a different half of Brooks & Dunn.

i’m not gonna lie to you, i got no idea who they are.

Now playing at your local casketeria this Fangsgiving...

Horatio was suspiciously chill about everyone but Hamlet.

People seem to die on a daily basis in Shakespearean Denmark. He must have grown a thick skin to deal with it all.

They'd probably do a bit better if they stopped putting poison on everything.

Danish cuisine at its finest.

In Denmark, a cheese danish is just called a cheese and is also made with hebenon instead of cream cheese.

Don't forget to put some in your ears, or it's considered quite rude.

Denmark is a cultural minefield.

Maybe he was the murderer all along.

Horatio was just trying to get his boyfriend on the throne where he belongs.

It’s almost sweet

How fortunate they sent him to watch after Hamlet's "girlfriend."

It's certainly a lead worth investigating.

He thought he could cover by just not being onstage. Imagine.

Do you buy the boyfriend theory or do you think he's just a bloodthirsty killer?

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