gooseberryhigh | [posted in the evening]

[Ro]

TEAM NAMES YOU COULD'VE CHOSEN THAT DON'T SUCK

The Lake Gooseberry Killers. Cause we're on the lake and we're gonna fuckin kill the other team.

The Penalty Boxers

The Mighty Pucks

Blades of Steel

Motherpuckers. Go Puck Yourself. The Pucking Victors. K they won't allow any of these but you get the idea.

~~Puck Kings?~~

~~In It To Twin It~~

The Arctic Foxes

The Frozen Fish. The Flying Fish?

Literally like any badass animal, Ro. Lions. Tigers. Scorpions. Orcas. Wolverines. Do I gotta do your job for you?

~~The Sick Puppycats~~

~~The Fast and the Furious~~

I mean, we could do another pun on Cunningham's name. ~~The Cunning Hams~~

Or our name, fuck. The Fire Stokers. Fire and Ice? Blood on the Ice? Like a Dracula thing. You know! It's late and I haven't read that book in forever.

How about we name our team after our old hockey coach? What the shit was his name? He put up with us for almost 14 months, that's like a fuckin record.

Or if you think people would get too fuckin confused with a new name after one whole game sounding like a bunch of nerds, we could do The Professors Pucks. We still sound like a bunch of a fuckin nerds but at least we're not named after some asshole you used to date. Shit!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So you don't think the current name is funny?

You know it'll be weird if we only change one of the names.

The names feel like we're staging a memorial game in honor of some dead jackasses. Like, how long do we gotta worship the Class of 2014? You think the sophs on the team give a single shit about Park and Cunningham? Do you give a single shit about people who graduated three years ahead of us? Shit, I don't even remember any of their names.

You're right, I can't believe we didn't think of the sophomores.

K, think of it this way. This year we graduate and you give shinny over to Keating and... I dunno, whichever asshole Keating picks, who's probably gonna be a Coppertale, which you'd fuckin hate, so you make sure a Ribbonfin gets it before you go. And because that jackass is a Ribbonfin, next year they're gonna name the team the The Rosy Palms or whatever the fuck. That's fuckin weird, right?

That is an incredibly fucking weird hypothetical name, you've got me there. Last year one of the teams was named after Mr. Pennywise, who I'm pretty sure wasn't even aware kids were beating the shit out of each other on the ice, so it was already kind of half a tradition to name a team after the dearly departed.

So maybe we should convince a teacher to suddenly retire in the middle of the school year, that'll solve our problem.

Yeah, and it was a bad homage! That old fuck made me drop Potions. I mean, I dropped Potions cause it was a lot of work, but maybe if he'd been a cool as hell teacher, I'd still be in Potions, y'know?

The Approach Vectors. The High-as-Fuck-Towers. The Blooming Blades.

Edited (sy should never join debate club, he's bad at logical arguments) 2017-12-09 07:52 (UTC)

Potions is still a lot of tedious work when the teacher is nice and everyone loves his eyes.

I bet Mr. Oakes would love the High-as-Fuck-Towers.

I don't trust it. That guy's gotta be secretly insane to come back to this school.

That might be sarcasm, but shit, he totally would love it. Hightower's chill, though. I don't want the dude to die mid-year.

Glad to see we both agree that coming back to this school is fucking insane.

Well if we can't kill Mr. Hightower mid-year, I just don't know what we're going to do.

I mean, not for us, but once we graduate? Why the hell would you ever want more school? [...] Don't answer that, I know you fuckin love school.

We might kill Vector. I swear that woman's gonna have an aneurysm after all the shit we put her through. If Coppertale wasn't winning games, she'd probably scrap half my team, me included.

Edited (go to bed marin) 2017-12-09 08:35 (UTC)

I can't wait to go to school in a city. Just let me get overpriced coffee from one coffee shop and study in another one.

You flatter yourself Stoker, like you guys are the worst Coppertale's had to offer in all eleven years this school's been around.

Also, no, what's fuckin weird is you captaining a team named after your goddamn ex. Is this some fucked up self-torture thing?

This is some kind of fucked up I-complicated-the-fuck-out-of-a-stupid-team-name thing and I'm not sure how to gracefully sidestep it without turning into a fucking thing.

Shit, Stoker. You're the captain! What you say goes! Just say we're changing it and anyone who argues has to run laps. Skate laps. Whatever.

I mean, who's gonna get their feelings hurt if we change our name to be less awkward? Like, what about just the Professors? We still sound like we get beat up for our lunch money but it's not... y'know.

The awkward part comes in when people ask why we're changing the team name and I'm forced to explain in a way that doesn't sound like I'm avoiding the topic, but also do not want to fucking talk about it, while still being perfectly fucking pleasant and personable.

Again, you're way overcomplicating this shit. Make sure I'm standing behind you when you give the news, and I'll give everyone my "ask questions and you get punched in the fuckin face" look.

Is it so bad that I would rather just not invite people to start speculating on my relationship status? Either to my face or behind my back?

We could do a friendly amendment to the name. Instead of making some kind of big fucking deal out of it, we just casually start referring to it as the Professors until everyone forgets about the second half.

I mean... hell. If that's what you want. Sure. I just think [...] I dunno, it's fucked up. It pisses me off thinking you're forced to keep rubbing what happened in your own face.

Yeah, well. [...] I only have myself to blame.

Yeah, well. I don't fuckin blame you for anything, so fuck off with that.

[...] ~~Why did you~~ ~~I thought you lov~~ ~~Do you want to talk~~ [...] Shit, it's hard to write when you're sitting in a dumb fuckin tent. Ignore all that.

Yeah, okay, maybe treat your pens with a little more respect and that wont happen. [...] Thanks.

Lucky for me, this is one of your pens. And it could be worse, right? You coulda hooked up with Quinn too. There's no changing fuckin Quinnishers into something less awkward.

Every time you take one of my pens I feel like we're in a hostage situation. Please just return it safe and sound and I won't even call the police.

At that point I guess I would have just had to walk away from hockey altogether. Another sports league ruined for me by bad judgment and sweet team names.

Edited 2017-12-09 08:45 (UTC)