(no subject)

[lilipad]

[Webster]

UMMMMMMMMMM.

Wanna hear something nuts?

Comments

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

[...] Yeah?

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

I think I know who the mystery man is and you are NOT gonna believe who.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

You do??

Wait. Do I want to know?

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

UMMMM. It might make you re-think Gwen’s sanity.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

Okay now you’re just being dramatic.

But now I also need to know. How bad is it?

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

I can be dramatic if I want.

It’s SO BAD.

Well, good for you. He is ... the WORST and you are MUCH handsomer.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

Just tell me who it is already!

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

Don’t yell at me!!!

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

Please tell me who it is. Better?

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

Yes.

I’m going through a lot here, so you should be nice to me.

I can’t believe I have to makeout with Casper Kim.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

CASPER??

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

REALLY?

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

Huh.

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

I’m like 99.6% sure.

[...]

What stage of grief are you on?

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

Denial? I mean, nothing against Casper, but he and I are very... different. It's hard to believe she'd like both of us.

[...]

What makes you so sure he's the mystery guy?

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

UMMMMM. Yeah! Like the fact that you’re the best and he’s the worst??? He’s literally the Grinch. Like, where is Christmas? I don’t know. Check Casper’s bag.

[...]

I saw them in the lodge. And she had this look when he kis...

I just know these things.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

I mean, I wasn't going to say that. I was just thinking that he's a little [...] dour. Serious. [...] Yeah. Maybe we are saying the same thing.

Casper Kim??? Really???

[...] Lilika. You know I trust your intuition implicitly. But like, you really can know this based on only a look?

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

And his hair is BAD. I don’t care what everybody anybody says. Get a haircut, ya bum!

[...]

Yes. I can. [...] There was also a telling cheek kiss.

HE DOESN’T EVEN SEEM LIKE A GOOD KISSER. Very thin lips.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

There was a kiss?? Lilika! He kissed her?? I thought he didn't like her!

[...]

I think we've moved from 'denial' to 'anger.'

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

Webster. Calm down. I’ll kill him. It’s fine. Like, there are a lot of mushrooms that can kill a man. Mmmm, take a bite of this spaghett, you weird ghoul. Yes, it’s supposed to taste like HEAVEN. (Because he’ll be dead, get it?)

[...]

Or, like, I could just give him very public diarrhea.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

Mmmm yeah. What could we do to him? I can't decide if cutting his hair would be punishment... or a gift.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

[...]

I don't mean that.

That was mean.

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

APPARENTLY, Gwen likes mean.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

But like, I don't think she does. She is kind and good to her core. Not a mean bone in her body.

You know what? I figured it out! There must be something about Casper we don't know. Something Gwen has seen that we haven't. Like a skill or a quirk or a secret sense of humor. [...] Is Parseltongue sexy? sexier than Spanish and French?

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

Hoooooomygod, shut up. You barely know her.

I don’t care if he’s the King Koopa of laying pipe, nothing is making up for that bland ass personality. He is literally joyless. And nobody wants to fuck a snake! That’s not it.

Gwen must be secretly evil.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

Lilika! [...] I love you. You are a true friend. Of course, I can't allow myself to agree with anything you said about Casper, but I will stop going to bat for him.

Okay, new theory: Gwen is attracted to Casper because she likes a project. Because she is a good person, and not secretly evil. Thoughts?

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

Yes, yes, I understand. I’ll be your Lilith so that you can walk around your Eden all holier-than-thou. That’s what friends are for.

[...] I think she’s probably evil.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

Well, what would you have me do?

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

I don't know. You're the one that likes her.

Learn the Black Speech or something.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

Very funny.

YOU are the one who set us up for the masquerade dance.

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

I was working with SLIM PICKINS.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

[...]

I think I'm going to go play some music. Thanks for everything, Lilika. I mean it.

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

You'll post my bail, right?

[......]

Kidding.

Mostly.

Webster/Lilika

[lilipad]

Love you.

Webster/Lilika

[websterknox]

No bail. I'm busting you out.

Love you too.