gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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I'm looking forward to everyone's acts at tomorrow's talent show and I know our family members will be delighted by all the creative and family-appropriate performances. Casey and Riley, please

[Warded to Big Fish]

Hurricane Coralee's arrived as I'm sure you've noticed. I did not invite her. She [...] somehow convinced my parents that she missed everyone here so very dearly that she just had to come along. Apologies in advance for whatever [...] pleasantries she pays you.

I hope everyone else's family reunions were more [...] expected.

Ugh, Cotillion was bad enough, but an entire weekend ~~She always knows just the right buttons to push~~

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Everyone to the sauna.

This does seem an appropriate time to test how many fish we can squeeze into one room.

Is it a bad idea or a good idea to let her and my mother distract each other.

I feel like this raises some questions of morality that I'm willing to sweep under the rug for the weekend.

This is a safe space for the moral-free.

But is it a fair fight? Coralee doesn't need to worry about a clean record for whatever office your father's running for next.

My mom's been getting soft. She's been picking on easy targets like us society second wives and one-term MACUSA reps for too long.

If this doesn't work, perhaps you can help me discover what's so appealing about punching trees and we can call it extra credit for Pre-Healer Studies.

Ooh, can we? I think we could all use it.

fuck my parents are here i already forgot to meet them

[...] And they forgot to find you?

one time they were supposed to pick me up at the porthub and i missed my portkey and just like didn't think they needed to know for like two days and i think this is just the level they expect from me these days

[...] Sounds like they [...] respect your level of independence.

p sure everyone's just like, tired by the time they get around to doing the same shit for baby #6

Ugh, that's a lot of pregnancies. I suppose that makes sense. Are you going to find them or see how long it takes for them to finally find you?

dylan's probably already trying to convince everyone she's better or prettier or whatever i should find her and put a fucking stop to that shit

If I hear anything, I'll defend your honor.

Coralee's here! THAT explains that fiery brimstone I've been smelling the buses got here.

It's her signature scent.

I'm sure you missed her horribly last year.

You know, at Hogwarts they have a whole house full of her. I'm surprised she didn't go there.

Let me know if you want me to stage an unfortunate LARP accident involving her.

Sounds delightful. Remind me why you thought going to Hogwarts was a good idea?

[...] I ~~probably shouldn't give her any more ammunition~~ [...] still want to help out with whatever you need for LARP. We can probably make a last minute adjustment to the routine.

Would you be surprised to know that I honestly cannot remember?

Heyyyyyyy that's the spirit! A stray spell packet. No one will be the wiser.

[...] No, I suppose not. And I can't even guess that it was to try to snag a British cutie, since ~~apparently~~ you've been doing a fine job of that here.

I think you'd need an entire army. Wouldn't be very subtle though.

I've been doing an [...] adequate job of that this year.

She'd like that too much, though, wouldn't she? An entire army called against her?

~~I wouldn't know.~~ That's so delightful to hear.

She would, but it'd be offset by my joy at having an army at my disposal.

Ah ah ah ah ah I know that handwriting. Miss Sassypants. I promise I'll divulge once there's more beans to spill.

Always figured you'd make General, eventually.

I'm not scared. Let me know if you need rescuing.

I promised I'd give you a chance to show off some Head Boy heroics. Better me than the hermit crabs, I suppose. They'll be disappointed. It was going to be such a good view.

There'll be time for crab heroics, too.

I'll let them know the good news. Kriley had just changed shells for the big event.

[Ferdie]
And perhaps I'll be able to steal away afterwards and give you a proper considerably-less-pinchy thanks than the crabs would.

What color is it?

[Ursula]
Only if you're for sure not followed by Coralee.

Unicorn Farts. Charmed to look like it, anyway. It's truly hideous.

[Ferdie]
I can put some of that secret agent training from Halloween to good use. Too bad the fangs weren't real.

My favorite color.

[Ursula]
Don't waste your bites on her, anyway.
I can get away. My dad wants to [...] talk, later. But I'll be free soon.

We should've gone to Coppertale's party last night and played nail polish roulette. Really impress the folks.

[Ferdie]
I'll save them for someone I like better.
Good. I can make an excuse to get away. Any idea what's on his mind?

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