gooseberryhigh | Time for an outlet

Entry tags:

Time for an outlet

[Friends]

I'll be in the artificing shed whenever I'm not in my cabin, so don't bother asking otherwise. By next week, I'll have something that will work. Either something that will identify them or a charm we can wear proving we are real. The latter is easier, so I might get that out of the way first to concentrate on the former. ~~Oakes might let me work through dinner~~

~~[Warded to Calvin]~~

~~[Warded to Avery]~~

~~[Warded to Casper]~~

[Private]

There's no one to trust anymore.

[Webster]

Why did you lie to me about the candygram?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No. Well, I knew you about as well as you knew me. Just in passing. Good things only.

Lilika thought we might like each other. [...] And she was right, right?

Did she pick my name out of a hat or something? Or was it the Ribbonfin that was too nice to say no? ~~Because I'm easy~~

I'm having trouble trusting anyone. I'm not sure I can look further than that right now.

I don’t know how she got it in her head that we should go to the dance together. [...] Did you only go with me because you’re too nice to say no?

No. I went with you because I thought I was going with someone who liked me. Who already knew me and liked what they knew. It made me feel special, and now I feel I was picked out as the dumb blonde from Ribbonfin. I told you that no one ever told me that before. I was always the 'nice friend'. This was different. But it's not. It's nothing. I'm wasting your time because I was worried over nothing. I'm not special at all. I'm someone your friend picked out for you.

Okay, just because part of what you said is true doesn't make the rest of it true. Yes, I didn't know you or like you at that point, but it doesn't mean you're not special. I've loved getting to know you and I think you are special. And I hope I've since made you feel special.

Lilika asked you for me because she knew I would be too scared to ask someone. And she was right. And I was too scared to be honest about that back in December. I'm sorry. I didn't want to mess up something that I thought was good. [...] But that backfired. Obviously.

You had two months to tell me! Instead, I had to find out secondhand. You still weren't going to tell me. You still weren't going to be honest. These [...] things are revealing things in our minds indiscriminately and you didn't think it might come out? I didn't want to learn this. Not like this, Webster.

I messed up, okay? And I feel really bad about that. I didn't know if there was a "good" way to tell you, so yeah, I just didn't. Being honest didn't necessarily seem like a good idea either. ~~Like, it didn't make me feel good or special when you were honest about having feelings for Ca~~ I thought that could hurt you, too.

[...]

I hadn't thought much about the Candygram in a while. It sounds silly to say now given the circumstances, but it had started to feel unimportant and deep in the past. So much has happened between us since -- real stuff -- that I was hoping we'd never have to deal with it. But maybe that's me. And I'm sorry if the Candygram has remained a [...] big thing to you. I'm sorry I hurt you.

[...]

It did hurt me.

I need you to know something. Maybe it's just how I work, but it's important. You can't just tell me the truth when it's a good truth, or there's a kind way to say it. I want to know even when it's unkind, when it will hurt, because I would rather live in honesty. I don't want it concealed from me because it might cause problems. Finding out later, it just makes it worse.

I know I'm not perfect. And I know that [...] it hurt you when I was honest. I'm sorry, but this is the only way I can be. It's not the candygram that's the issue. It's knowing that whether you meant to or not, I was tricked into thinking something was true when it wasn't. Not true yet, I know you are saying, but I don't feel less tricked. Less of a joke.

Thank you for apologizing. I have to think about this.

I understand.

[...]

I hate that you feel tricked. Only honesty from here on out. I hear you. [...] In the spirit of that, I'll just put this out there: I ~~know~~ am pretty sure I know your crush in Casper. I think that's the only other thing I haven't said to you.

[...] Take some time to think. Everything is crazy right now. We can talk sometime later.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Time for an outlet

Gwen/Webster

Gwen/Webster

Gwen/Webster

Gwen/Webster

Gwen/Webster

Gwen/Webster

Gwen/Webster

Gwen/Webster

Gwen/Webster