gooseberryhigh | essie still hasn't gotten a hang of her date planner.

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essie still hasn't gotten a hang of her date planner.

[Warded to ... Everyone Except Jeffy]

~~UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~

HEY so like JEFFY'S birthday is SOON and I like DON'T KNOW what you're supposed to get your BOYFRIEND for his birthday. Like are there SPECIAL gifts you're supposed to get your BOYFRIEND???

[Warded to BFF5EVER Rosy, added later]

Oh my gosh ROSY!!!

Jeffy's birthday is TODAY??? Like TODAY TODAY?!? Like TODAY TODAY TODAY!!! I thought it wasn't until FRIDAY??? I don't have a gift for him and I can't find the issue of Gryffin Beat that tells you what you're supposed to buy for boys and I don't have enough gummy bears to make into a Quaffle so we need to BREAK into Mr. Thorn's office like RIGHT NOW and GET ONE.

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Oh.

Oh my God, Essie.

Did you not get a copy of the boyfriend gift-giving handbook?

That is supposed to come free with the purchase of each boyfriend.

Someone missed a check box on her paperwork.

UGHH!!! You're NOT HELPING!!!

You're working on kind of a tight timeline here. Have you considered something made of candy.

Edited 2018-04-15 16:33 (UTC)

Like what???

Everything is improved by being made of gummy candy. Maybe [...] a gummy quidditch set.

HM I like MIGHT have enough gummy bears to transfigure them into a quaffle but I don't know how fresh they are.

They're better a little stale, anyway. What about a thing that dispenses candy?

He's already seen the chicken that lays candy???

Naturally you need something that pukes candy, now.

they're the same gifts you're supposed to get your not-boyfriend. except maybe you want to kiss them on the face afterward?

Are you sure??? I know there was an article in GRIFFYN BEAT but it's like a SUPER OLD issue and I can't find it now.

i mean, i THINK so? he still likes the same things, so i don't see why it'd change too much.

The thought is more important than the gift itself.

exactly. it's from essie. so whatever it is, it'll be GREAT.

Really the only big difference is the number of X's and O's you put in the card.

Just get him whatever present you think he'd like best.

UMMMMMMM like a QUAFFLE???

~~How many quaffles could you possibly n~~ You know him better than I do.

Fill it with candy, and I'm sure he'll say it's the best gift he's ever got.
Which he ought to say regardless, as it's from you.

Do you think Mr. Thorn has extra quaffles that he'd give me or are we gonna have to steal one???

I don't know. But I'm sure there's extras. They have to be beat up in games, sometimes.
But if you need to do a Quaffle heist, I can help.

It's like a way more romantic gift if you steal it, right???

Edited (whoops it was right the first time) 2018-04-15 17:40 (UTC)

To my understanding, absolutely.

[...] I might have an idea of where that issue of Gryffin Beat is, but it's okay. If you want to get him a Quaffle, we're going to get him a hell of a Quaffle.

But not by breaking in. By lying. This is a Quidditch emergency, and if you don't get a Quaffle right now, there's going to be a lot of trouble. How good are you at pretending to cry?

I'm like PRETTY good at pretending to be SUPER ALARMED because I did that to the Head Boy for months after he kissed me but I'm not like THE BEST at CRYING but I can TRY???

[...] A Quaffle is like a SUPER GOOD present for a Chaser, right???

Ferdie's easy to throw off, he's too nice. I've never tried to emotionally manipulate Mr. Thorn before, but I imagine he's at least a level or two higher than Ferdie. Maybe I can get like Mabel to do the dirty work, she's kind of weepy already.

Sy carries around his "favorite Quaffle" everywhere he goes. If this doesn't immediately become Jeffy's "favorite Quaffle" that he throws at someone's face when he's trying to think, he doesn't deserve you and we're finding you someone ten times better.

Oh my GOSH that's like a SUPER GREAT plan??? I can TOTALLY like turn into a SQUIRREL and NINJA into Mr. Thorn's office while she's CRYING and roll the Quaffle out???

[...] I don't need to like BREAK UP with Jeffy if he doesn't throw it at people's faces, DO I??? I don't think there's anyone even like TWO TIMES better than him!!!

Let's get this done sooner rather than later. If it doesn't work, we'll need to go with a Plan B, and we need time to get that worked out. Like seeing if there's someone we can bully out of their prize Quaffle.

You don't have to, but recognize your own worth. No one guy is so good that if they don't appreciate what you've done for them you can't kick them to the curb and trade up.

Edited 2018-04-16 02:04 (UTC)

OKAY!!! I bet I could get TOBY to give me one if we HAVE to!!! How good are you at making SANDWICHES???

You're RIGHT??? What if we charm the Quaffle to like QUACK and shoot CONFETTI when you throw it in someone's FACE so then he'll want to throw it in LOTS of people's faces???

[...] I'm really more of a supervisor when it comes to food prep. I've recently learned how to boil water. I'm sure I can just point and tell him what to do, though.

Those are actually really good ideas. Sounds like something he would ~~probably~~ enjoy?. As long as someone cleans up after the confetti.

Do you have a card too, or do we need to bully someone in Aesthetic Magic into making you one of those? One that sings. Or, like, dances. And/or quacks.

I bet he could teach you some SECRETS to sandwich making!!! He gave me some GREAT advice about eating ham sandwiches instead of worrying about all the stuff you have to do!!!

OH YEAH, don't WORRY!!! Someone el always cleans stuff up!!! But maybe it could be BUBBLES and RAINBOWS instead so it's LESS messy??? Like NO ONE could get mad about getting hit in the face with rainbows, RIGHT???

OMG WE SHOULD MAKE A CARD THAT SINGS!!! What's your FAVORITE Katy Perry song??? We'll sing it TOGETHER!!!

Eating ham sandwiches instead of worrying? Can I multitask and eat ham sandwiches while worrying?

Bubbles sounds like a really cute idea, actually! Rainbow bubbles? While it makes noise? It'll be the most irritating Quaffle in the halls and that's perfect.

I'm [...] not actually sure who Katy Perry is. And I've never been much of a singer. But I'll do what I can, which might mean gathering up a crowd of freshmen for a truly epic card. He'll never even kind of suspect this was thrown together at the last minute.

You can TRY but it's kind of like IMPOSSIBLE to worry while eating one???

YEAH!!! Jade said it should also have CANDY so maybe bubbles can be like COTTON CANDY RAINBOW BUBBLES too??? Then people would be like ASKING to have it thrown at them!!!

Oh my gosh she's like BASICALLY the best singer EVER??? And she even has a song called BIRTHDAY. I can TOTALLY teach you the lyrics!!! Or we can teach the FRESHMEN!!! It's TOO BAD you won't be here next year because we could have TOTALLY danced to her for the talent show together???

I'm going to put this to the test, but just for you. I'm not expecting any miracles here.

I bet I can make some cotton candy rainbow bubbles. Ones that don't pop easily, too, so you can create a mild amount of chaos without wreaking havoc and causing permanent damage and pushing Ferdie's aneurysm even closer to bursting. This is nowhere near as bad as Truth Gas.

You know, I've been okay with leaving this year for the most part, but you're right. I should have done the talent show with you this year. Who cares what my parents think or how bad I am at singing? But okay, we're on a tight schedule here. Bring me the lyrics and I'll get freshmen to work on it while I'm making the cotton candy rainbow bubbles that don't break easily. After we procure the Quaffle. Does someone need to distract Jeffy while we work?

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essie still hasn't gotten a hang of her date planner.

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