[2025]

[novelling]

Haven't you got anything better to do with your time, Mr. Pratt?

Comments

[phin]

She's got her own sense of humour already. Cos she's a genius. Extremely precocious, if you ask me.

[novelling]

I'm sure she'll be talking in no time.

[phin]

Either way, I promise you'll adore her. Don't listen to my wife. Gemma hardly yells more than the average bar patron.

[novelling]

And she's easier to please, I imagine. Give a drunkard a bottle and he'll just get rowdier.

[phin]

Yes, quite incredibly easy to please really, except between the hours of 3 and 6AM. But even then, far cuter than the vast majority of drunkards I know.

[novelling]

With the time difference we'll be as nocturnal as she is.

[sovain]

Genius. Phin, she's 6 months old.

[phin]

I call them like I see them.

[sovain]

And biased.

[phin]

Hardly. I'd admit it if she were a stupid baby. I've got nothing to lose.

[novelling]

Is she ugly?

[phin]

No. She looks like a cherub, and not one of the ugly ones.

[novelling]

You're either biased or your baby is perfect. Not sure which is more likely.

[phin]

The only ill I will speak of the child is that sometimes she stares at things that aren't there, which is terribly unsettling in a dark room. But I've heard loads of babies do that sort of thing.

[novelling]

We'll check your house for ghosts. We're experts.

[phin]

I hope there aren't any, for their own sake. This place would hardly make for a restful afterlife at the moment.

[sovain]

You would not call Gemma stupid

[phin]

Actually I would, but it doesn't matter because she isn't. She's precocious.

[sovain]

Sure, Phin. Ari and Jade are coming tonight to babysit so we can fucking sleep for once.

[phin]

She is. And yes, brill.

[sovain]

Maybe if we pay them they'll take her until she's like.. five.

[novelling]

If you pay us enough we'll teach her etiquette too.

[sovain]

Deal

[sochill]

She'd grow up incredibly charming with you two.

[novelling]

Maybe we'll start a charm school.