goosestaff: (O'Hare (ii))
Gooseberry High - Staff & Teachers ([personal profile] goosestaff) wrote in [community profile] gooseberryhigh2017-02-11 03:48 pm
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MANDATORY SEX ED ASSEMBLY




MANDATORY SEX ED ASSEMBLY

At 4 PM, the school holds a mandatory Sex Ed Assembly, which some students think is timed suspiciously close to Valentine's Day. All girls are asked to go to the auditorium with Mrs. O'Hare, while all boys must gather in the cafeteria with Healer Mufferaw. The doors of the auditorium and cafeteria are closed, and students are expected to pay attention for the full 90 minutes.

Although the assemblies are divided by gender, they will be covering basically the same information:


Anatomy and Procreation: O'Hare and Mufferaw run through this one fairly quickly, on the assumption that students already have some knowledge of how this works. (Mufferaw will regret that, once he gets to the student questions.) This includes the parts of the penis and the vagina, the mechanics of procreative sex, and how the egg is fertilized by sperm.

  • Mufferaw, being an experienced Healer, recites this information in the blandest terms possible, ignoring the titters in the audience.

  • O'Hare is chipper and stays on topic until the end, when she goes off on a tangent about dragon mating. Apparently, dragon mating is surprisingly similar to human mating, except for the addition of fire and leathery wings and egg-laying. So... not similar at all. Everyone in the room learns too much about "hemipenis hook ornaments."


Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation: Mindful of the diversity of their students, they do their best to use inclusive language throughout the lesson. The information in this section is somewhat basic, only touching upon heterosexual, gay/lesbian and bisexual/pansexual as sexual orientations; and cisgender and transgender as gender categories. Nonetheless, they make the effort to emphasize it's alright to not know how define yourselves yet, and that all sexualities are valid, mainstream or not.

  • Mufferaw is gruff and matter-of-fact by default, but this is the one time he softens a little. Your health needs can change depending on your gender or your sexual orientation. If you need to tell a Healer about these things, you're safe with him.

  • "Y'know, there's a whole lotta different ways to express your sexuality," O'Hare muses. "When me and my husband were just wild kids in wizard college, we didn't believe in tying ourselves down to doing just one thing or one person. Speaking 'bout that, let's talk about..."


Protection and STIs: This section forms the bulk of the assembly. They run through common sexually transmitted diseases, both magical and non-magical, and how to effectively use condoms and dental dams to prevent the spread of STIs (and also babies, of course).

  • O'Hare manages to be no-nonsense about this. STDs are no joke, kids! Differently from the boys' assembly, O'Hare includes a brief but frank discussion of what to do if you find yourself with an unwanted pregnancy.

  • Mufferaw asks for Levi Kramer and Christopher Park to come up to the front and demonstrate how to put a condom on a banana, with... variable results. Later, Mufferaw ends up describing a few magical STIs in gruesome (and possibly exaggerated) detail, the worst one being Cursed Cooties, which starts as bright blue genital warts, and progresses into swelling, discoloured discharge, unusual berry-like smells, and necrosis. "The only way to save him was through castration," Mufferaw intones. He decides to lighten the mood by opening a door out to the balcony, for a live demonstration on how to use a condom to light a campfire. Survival skills!


Consent: The final part is a discussion of the different types of violence, abuse and harassment that can occur in dating/relationships, and methods for responding to and preventing them. Despite the limited time given to such an important topic, Mufferaw and O'Hare do their best to provide scripts for establishing personal boundaries.

  • Dangerous beasts come up again, as O'Hare compares teenage lust to the power of dragon pheromones. The metaphor goes overlong, but the point is, no matter how heated (haha) you are in the moment, that's no excuse for ignoring someone else's boundaries. You should be allowed to say "no" at any time and have that be respected.

  • Mufferaw's youngest daughter is classmates with you hoodlums, so he's dead serious about this topic. If someone shows signs of not enjoying the attention you're giving them, then cut that crap out. Just because they're not saying "no," that doesn't make it a "yes." Learn enthusiastic consent! Don't you dare give someone a love potion (or anything) without their knowledge! And quit kissing so many people when you're sick!


Student Questions: Students are asked to submit any questions they might have into a box. Everyone must submit a piece of paper to the box, for the sake of anonymity, although actually writing a question is optional. O'Hare and Mufferaw read the submitted questions, and offer their answers:

  • O'Hare cheerfully details the contents of the Safer Safe Kit, which does indeed include magical condoms. She also teaches them a handy body-safe lubrication spell which they can use in a pinch. "Trust me, men-leaning ladies, if you don't worry about keeping things smooth and slippery, he's not going to."

  • "You're all idiots," Mufferaw informs the boys. "And none of you should be allowed to talk to, much less touch, a woman." (That said, if any of them have serious questions about anatomy, they should go to the library.)


In the end, everyone is granted a Safer Sex Kit: a small blue bag containing two magical condoms (automatically resize to a snug fit when worn), two magical dental dams (won't slip off accidentally when placed), two sample packets of lube, a pack of wet wipes, and breath mints. There’s also an instructional pamphlet about the importance of using protection.


» Boys' Assembly: The round cafeteria tables have been magically cleared and replaced with rows of metal folding chairs which inevitably grow uncomfortable after the first 45 minutes. Healer Mufferaw stands at the front of the room with a screen and magical projector. With every tap of his wand against the screen, the slide changes. The slides are antiquated in art style, but the information is reliably current. Mufferaw is quick to shut down any boys trying to ham it up or cause trouble. He's heard all your jokes before.

» Girls' Assembly: Girls are asked to fill the front rows of the auditorium—no sitting in the back and missing anything! Mrs. O'Hare has decided to treat this like Magizoology class, and has two large blackboards set up on stage, upon which she scribbles lots of notes and the occasional diagram. Very good diagrams, honestly. (Maybe too good, in the case of the hemipenes?) O'Hare's tone remains brisk and conversational throughout, with frequent reassurances that none of the girls should be embarrassed to talk about their needs.

» ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: No guarantee that we'll answer any of them, but if you want space to note what your character submitted to the questions box, write it here!

» OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!
tyhawkeswood: (Default)

Ty

[personal profile] tyhawkeswood 2017-02-12 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
None of this is new to Ty (except that lighting a fire with a condom thing -- who knew?) and he looks pretty bored throughout the presentation. After a while, this becomes very obvious. He glances around a lot, fidgets, and looks for other similarly bored souls to make sympathetic eye contact with. This would've been useful freshman year, sure, but it's sort of late in the game now.
casperkim: (Default)

Casper

[personal profile] casperkim 2017-02-12 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
Casper hasn't had much experience when it comes to sex, but he's had enough and he doesn't see the point in this. He sits there looking irritated, slumped in his chair with his arms crossed, just waiting for this to end so he can go do something useful with his time. Though his eyebrows do go up a few times at the plethora of STIs and Mufferaw's detailed descriptions. He's reasonably certain that he can tell when someone is trying to scare him...but he's not positive. And it's not like he was planning to have unprotected sex anyway.

The more ridiculous questions asked at the end of the session seem to annoy him even more, though. Does he go to school with a bunch of goddamn children?
untarnish: (Default)

Ariadne

[personal profile] untarnish 2017-02-12 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
The sex education at Hogwarts/in pureblood society England is not super comprehensive or... like... existent, so Ari probably should be paying attention. But she finds it a little uncouth to discuss these things, even educationally, and sits around looking equal parts judgmental and uninterested, even though she's actually learning... a lot.
neattrick: (Default)

Clem

[personal profile] neattrick 2017-02-12 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
Clementine is not sure why people are uncomfortable, because this is some Grade A Entertainment in her opinion. She's more interested in the dragon stuff than the sex ed stuff and asks as many questions about dragon sex as she can get away with before being steered back on topic.
uponawire: (do you have a letter for me)

Roxie

[personal profile] uponawire 2017-02-12 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
As someone who lives in close proximity to others with little to no privacy even outside of school, Roxie's pretty unbothered. She's heard/seen/walked in on worse. (Customers, man. There isn't a semi-shadowed corner at Nox that hasn't seen some things.)

The dragons were a surprise, though.
ninjaleo: (016)

[personal profile] ninjaleo 2017-02-12 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
(If Leo accidentally or on purpose eye contacts Rafael, he tries his VERY BEST to just smile and shake his head a very little. This is trying to be wordlessly empathetic about this school is being set to HUMILIATE THE STUDENTS mode at all times.)
colemoss: (Default)

Cole

[personal profile] colemoss 2017-02-12 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
Cole doesn't know much about sex, but physical intimacy doesn't perplex him in the same way that emotional intimacy does and the very dry beginning of the presentation quickly prompts him to check out. He just lets his mind wander, thinking about a painting that he'd like to be working on and the colors that he'd use and how he'd achieve that texture that he wants and so on. His attention drifts in and out of focus for the rest of the assembly (something about condom fires? and something about not kissing so much? and there were bananas at one point? he's not sure), so he doesn't get much out of it.

He probably would've done better in the lecture full of dragon metaphors.
bambae: (Default)

Chris is also helpful

[personal profile] bambae 2017-02-12 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Chris runs through the demonstration of displaying how to put a condom onto a banana with familiarity, but greatly slowed down for emphasis. Surprisingly - miraculously - he resists the temptation to make this look anymore suggestive than it already does, even while he maintains eye contact with Isaiah the entire time.

To his demonstration, he also adds, "if it's difficult to roll down, it's because you're putting it on inside out, and you need to can it and get a new one, because there's a chance you got precum on it. STDs and sperm both exist in precum - that's why the pulling out method isn't safer than a condom. Condoms don't necessarily protect you against STDs that are transmitted by skin contact during sex, but they do protect you from them during oral sex. It's really just safer to get tested before having sex. And if you think that kills the mood - imagine how much genital warts'll kill the mood. Try explaining why your dick looks like it's birthing its own personal habitat to your prospective conquest. We don't live in the eighties. Everybody knows that diseases don't care about your gender or sexuality or moral compass. And Condoms, while outdated, are still the safest contraceptive against both STDs and pregnancy."

[identity profile] firstposition.insanejournal.com 2017-02-12 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
(At that, Rafael smiles and bites his lip, able to see at least a little humor in their suffering when he can share it with Leo. This was more sharing than he anticipated, but... they can handle it.)
gavogletree: (Default)

Gavin

[personal profile] gavogletree 2017-02-12 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
Gavin sits beside Garrett (obviously) and...actually finds the assembly fairly useful. He's never kissed anyone outside of playing spin the bottle, never made out with anyone, and certainly never had sex, but he's also never had anyone at home to really deliver The Talk. Busy dads don't always make time for that sort of thing. So, while this isn't all new, there's a lot here that he'll need to know. Someday. Though the discussion of Cursed Cooties makes him think that staying a virgin for the rest of his goddamn life might not be the worst thing.
gonnabefamous: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] gonnabefamous 2017-02-12 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
IS this the first time for this assembly, or is it yearly?

Idk how common these things are I went to public school in the south so.
nothalfplaid: (Default)

Fern

[personal profile] nothalfplaid 2017-02-12 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
Fern is so glad that the girl's assembly is separate, and led by O'Hare instead of her dad, that she is primed to not hate every second of this.

She's unfazed, even attentive, throughout the presentation. You guys can all giggle and stare at the ceilings, and later you're all going to end up with superghonasyphilaids.
noblewon: (Default)

Tess

[personal profile] noblewon 2017-02-12 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
Tess isn't super pleased that they're all required to go to the assembly, though she understands the purpose, because she's already pretty well informed about these kinds of things. Well, except the dragon stuff. She raises her eyebrows at that. At least she learned some new things today.
cmdrchloe: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] cmdrchloe 2017-02-12 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
Half the people here like

cmdrchloe: (Default)

Chloe

[personal profile] cmdrchloe 2017-02-12 06:07 am (UTC)(link)
Chloe knows a lot more about this kind of stuff than she lets on, but to be fair, she learned 100% of that on the internet. She is doodling in her sketchpad, but she is also listening intently, and whenever there's any kind of visual, she makes sure to peek at it.

noblewon: (Default)

[personal profile] noblewon 2017-02-12 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
Tess has questions about the legality of love potions and how to avoid them (that you absolutely don't have to answer).
garogletree: (hmm yes)

Garrett

[personal profile] garogletree 2017-02-12 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
Garrett sits beside Gavin (obviously) and...also finds the assembly somewhat useful. His experiences with kissing and other forms of physical intimacy are pretty much identical to his twin's and thus are pretty sparse. A tiny part of him is pretty sure that Gavin is going to cockblock him into eternity, but this is all good to know regardless. Garrett gives his brother an 'oh god what' look during the STI portion - it's so much worse than he ever realized.
guthriegazette: (Thoughtful.)

Asher

[personal profile] guthriegazette 2017-02-12 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
Asher is pretty unperturbed by this assembly - like many of his classmates, none of this is news to him. He's very appreciative that Chris and Levi are serious and helpful in their demonstrations, but he's generally not paying much attention.
lupofiasco: (yiiiiiikes)

Jaime

[personal profile] lupofiasco 2017-02-12 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
Jaime actually listens pretty attentively, wanting to make sure he won't miss anything that he doesn't already know. He's a bit sad that he's listening so well when there's a little too much detail about STIs for his liking.
sheepish: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] sheepish 2017-02-12 12:16 pm (UTC)(link)
SOUTHERN PUBLIC SCHOOLS REPRESENTTTT

we had to get a permission form signed by our parents, and even then it was:

gonnabefamous: (Default)

Re: OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

[personal profile] gonnabefamous 2017-02-13 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
HIGH FIVE!

We did have sex ed as a part of P.E. but it was mostly anatomy (and all the boys failed the test on male anatomy but the girls all passed). We learned like, here's what a condom is and you should use them if you have sex BUT DON'T HAVE SEX BC HERE ARE ALL THE HORRIBLE STDS YOU'LL GET IF YOU DO.

We didn't even get to put a condom on anything phallic.
sylla: (Default)

[personal profile] sylla 2017-02-13 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Mummy has given little Sylla the talk - it's necessary when Mummy and Daddy have eight kids altogether running around the house, so she is fairly familiar with the mechanics of sex, despite at this stage being a mostly asexual virgin with no plans to change any of that. In her mind she has no need to explore any of this on her own, since she doesn't intend to sleep with anyone until she finds someone special and perfect and ~worthy~ of her, so she mostly spends her time zoning out and not paying too close attention. The little safe sex kit does pique her interest, however, in that she fully intends to study the charms and enchantments cast on the items rather than put them into use.

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