gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

GOOSEBERRY QUIDDITCH:

ALRIGHT, GOSLINGS. We're in the home stretch.

I'm proud of you and we're all doing super well. Reid, Ana, Chris, Sy, you all did great in the last game. I know everyone's nervous about TALENT SCOUTS but you don't have any reason to be because me and Leo lost that game and we still looked GOOD AS HELL doing it. Anybody's gonna be impressed with us and we're gonna set a standard for Gooseberry going forward.

Going into the game I want everyone to reflect on our biggest strengths and weaknesses as a team. HERE'S MINE: there's no way they care more about winning than we do. I know you assholes and you're some of the most passionate people I've ever had the pleasure of throwing quaffles at in my life. keep that fire in your bellies FOREVER or at the VERY LEAST until sunday

One of the biggest drawbacks for us is that we don't know how Ilvermorny plays like we know how each other play. A few of us have worked with the coach at Ilvermorny or played with or against some candidates for their school team, but they let their captains have as much strategic control over their teams as we do here and it's been long enough that that won't mean much. The best thing we can do for this is 1) Go in STRONG and throw them off their game before they can do that to us and 2) BE PREPARED TO CHANGE OUR TACK WHENEVER, so REVIEW YOUR PLAYBOOKS. We're not going to have any time for confusion or clarification once the clock starts.

[ A full schedule of practices is included here. Sorry, it might step on some of your guys' clubs. Complain at your own risk, because Clem has helpfully titled this timetable There's no crying in Quidditch! in sparkly purple ink. ]

🔴 YOU SHOULD BE DRINKING 72 OUNCES OF WATER A DAY
🔴 DO NOT SKIP COOLDOWNS YOU'LL PULL SOMETHING
🔴 Eat Carbs, Fresh Fruit
🔴 EXTRA POSITION PRACTICE AFTER REGULAR PRACTICE
🔴 TODAY: chasers
🔴 TOMORROW: keepers/beaters/seekers
🔴 FRIDAY: just a whole extra practice
🔴 RESERVES I booked the pitch for an extra practice specifically for you friday also but you have to come to position practices too

Practice on Saturday is only going to run to Lunch because there's going to be a MANDATORY TEAM SHINDIG on Saturday afternoon. Yes you have to come. Yes all of you have to come, including reserves. NO THERE WILL NOT BE ALCOHOL. NO DRINKING ALCOHOL FOR THE NEXT 100 HOURS

After the MANDATORY SHINDIG please try to get TEN HOURS OF SLEEP.

DON'T
participate in strenous physical activity
get detention for bullying
drink alcohol (OR ANYTHING BESIDES 72 OZ OF WATER A DAY)
red meat

If you don't get 10 hours of sleep or your sleep is restless, try to take a 20 minute nap two hours before we play. this will make you SHARP and ON THE BALL which you all need to be. ESPECIALLY YOU, REID.

LAST ORDER OF BUSINESS: which two of you are the tallest

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can always count on you to ask the explicit questions I was trying to imply. ♥

Lack of subtlety is my forte.

I'm sure other people were wondering the same thing.

Pretty sure nobody was wondering if masturbation is too strenuous to do this week.

I was.

For your sake. I hope the answer is yes.

Our quidditch is forbidding us from masturbating this week.

Look, without getting too explicit, there are different levels of strain and effort involved. I specified "vigorous". YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOES ON IN EVERYONE'S BUNK ONCE THE CURTAINS ARE CLOSED, PARK.

You're getting a little defensive there Kramer.

Maybe I'm in there with my shake weight because that's what I find fulfilling. You don't know me.

Your shake weight's too vigorous

You can't use that shit this week

Nobody asked you, Park. The oscillating motion helps me to focus.

Focus on making sour cream?

(no subject)

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