(no subject)

[professionalcorpse]

so it's shark week.

in my house, that means it's time to melt into the couch while my dad yells at various australians on our tv as they stab great whites with tiny tracking-device harpoons and almost get themselves eaten by things.

which is great! but tonight's 'sharks and the city: nyc' special wasn't at all about anthropomorphic sharks living undetected in our neighborhoods, going to PTA meetings by day and chewing on small children and house pets under the cover of darkness. it wasn't even about sarah jessica parker secretly being a mako. and i'm really fucking disappointed. i'm just saying. a lot of potential was wasted here.

Comments

[odder]

[...]
There's an entire week of sharks?

[professionalcorpse]

yup!

solid week of shark-related programming. every summer. i mean, a lot of it's nonsense. so you're mostly waiting around for the shark attack programs, even if some of them have TERRIBLE reenactments.

[odder]

And you're sure they're reenactments and not people actually being attacked?

[professionalcorpse]

man, i WISH. occasionally, they throw in some news footage - but that's mostly some beach rescue stuff. discovery channel likes to keep it family friendly.

[odder]

That's too bad. Families should learn the true impact of shark attacks.

[professionalcorpse]

oh, agreed! i mean, you ain't gonna learn shit from watching some blurry camera panning through bubbles.

[odder]

A bloodless lesson is a forgotten lesson.
That's what I've always learned.

[professionalcorpse]

they had a special last year about killer whales straight-up murdering great whites, though? like - no real reason, either. just to be dicks. it was nuts.

[odder]

They probably had a secret shark feud. Brother against shark brother.

[professionalcorpse]

they flipped them over, put them into shark-comas, and then let them drown. it was some cold hearted aquatic drama.

[odder]

That's amazing.

[professionalcorpse]

shamu and his posse don't mess around.

[sunsoutgunsout]

they chomp so much fuckin stuff it's SICK

[odder]

What kinds of things?

[sunsoutgunsout]

whatever you got
best is when it's other sharks

shark v shark fuckin RIGHT

[odder]

Filmed shark fights.

I've been deprived. I need a television.

[professionalcorpse]

shoes, license plates, full suit of armor.

[sunsoutgunsout]

fuck bro if youve got a yt link for the armour write that shit out

[professionalcorpse]

read that one in a book, actually. i WISH they had video of somebody pulling armor out of a great white.

[odder]

Such majestic creatures.

[professionalcorpse]

gigantic, toothy garbage cans.