gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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Mom's talking about all of us going to Louisiana for Christmas. I don't know what I think about that.

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Should be looking forward to Reveillon, depending on which parts you heading to.

No clue about all that, man. I left when I was four and ain't ever been back.

We usually welcome our kind back, shouldn't have no worry about none of that.

I don't have many memories. And the ones I do have aren't so great.

Why don't you know what to think?

[.....]

My memories of Louisiana are not exactly happy ones.

Oh! I'm really sorry to hear that. ~~Why~~

Eh, not like you'd know otherwise.

Can you tell your mum how you feel?

It's really complicated, trust me.

Oh. What about telling her you need to stay at school to catch up on your studies?

That'd mean staying here for Christmas, though, which I don't want to do.

No, I know it's not an ideal solution. I just thought it might be... less complicated.

I guess I'll figure something out. ~~Even if it's just showing them that~~

Good luck! And if you need a hug, come find me.

Um, thank you. ~~What~~

Is it the kind of not knowing what to think where you don't want to go at all? Or the kind where you want to a little bit, but can't decide if that's enough?

More the former, really. Just the thought of setting foot back there is a lot to process.

You can't tell them that? Your parents, I mean. That you don't want to go?

They... They're kind of doing this for me in the first place. They think.

But if you don't want to, it wouldn't be helping you. You don't think they'd understand that?

I... I think they'd think I was just being silly. Or that I'd change my mind eventually.

Even if you talked to them?

I know my parents think I'm being ridiculous a lot. And I probably am, I guess. But if I actually thought out what I wanted to say and [...] made good points? I think they'd listen.

You parents might too?

I dunno. Maybe... I just think Mom is pretty determined on this one.

What's wrong with Louisiana

Bad memories.

Oh
Sorry.

Maybe you can make new ones

I don't know if that's something that's really possible, but thanks for trying to cheer me up.

Tell them you want to stay at school over the holidays. That's what I always do. Write a letter explaining how you want to try it once and it's supposed to be incredibly fun. Honestly, it's mostly just quiet.

That'd be a good idea just to get out of going full stop, but really, ideal world I'd just rather go back to Denver.

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