gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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[Warded to Candy Rustlers]

OKAY so like yesterday I found a TREASURE MAP in the bathroom at the lodge and so it was like OF COURSE my responsibility to follow it and it led me to the GREENHOUSE and there was a box BURIED and I had to dig some plants up to get it and I got yelled at and it was kind of DUMB because the treasure wasn't really great ANYWAY??? Like there's this SUPER ANCIENT music tape thing that says GREATEST HITS on it (like anyone can actually play it???) and then like this PHOTO of this GUY who is wearing really SHORT shorts and like his legs are super hairy and it's gross???

And so like okay I GUESS my question is...

[Warded Public]

Does anyone know who this OLD GUY is???

[An autographed photo has been taped into Essie's journal.]

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FUCK YEAH WE DO

Edited (casey would 100% know but i don't want to ruin it yet) 2017-12-01 23:41 (UTC)

oh my god, it's david hasselhoff.

that's - wow. that's a LOT of david hasselhoff.

What a treasure.

That's my boyfriend, Dave.

omfg bro we have st hoff in common

why is that even a thing?

But he's so OLD???

There's so much thigh.

That's [...] an indecent amount of leg.

his swimsuit is very precarious and it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

[...]

I'm sorry to tell you this but someone has been keeping photos of your boyfriend in the greenhouse.

I am hooked on a feeling, and I think that feeling is mild distress.

How do so many people know Lilika's boyfriend??? And why does he hate PANTS???

Please explain this.

I thought he was a SINGER??

he's [...] yeah. ish.

and an actor. ~~ish.~~

i need access to the internet to properly explain 'hooked on a feeling.'

His chest is also very hairy.

What happened to Tony?

[.............]

Is he not actually dating Lilika?

David Hasselhoff is [...] a no-maj TV actor who used to also be popular in Germany as a pop star. He plays characters with names like Dr. Snapper Foster and Mitch Buchannon, so that should give you an idea of the quality of his performances.

[...] Apparently some on is a Big fan.

Probably not?

[...] How do YOU know so much about him???

Are YOU a BIG FAN???

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