(no subject)

[longcons]

WARDED TO HAZEL*

Hazel. Hi. [...] How do you kiss boys?

[ * and backdated to yesterday, since i accidentally made the timeline fucky ]

Comments

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

Fiiiiiineeeeeeeee.

Most generic advice is you ask them if they want to smooch. Like. That's it.

If they're pissy or whatever you gotta be more smooth, though. You can't ask, you have to make them want to kiss you. Which is a whole other thing.

BUT, most of the guys here are either super into it so it takes no convincing OR they are really stupid awkward so trying to be smooth is just going to make it embarrassing, so you should just go for it and be like: hey, I like your face enough to want to kiss it, let's go do that if you're interested.

Buuuuuut also tell me who it is. [...........] You don't want to kiss Toddy, do you???

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

I [...] don't want to talk about it. It's not Todd. I'm bad at conversation, not in the midst of a psychotic break.

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

But thank you. This was probably very helpful.

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

Boooooooooo tell meee

"Probably."

Tailored advice is way better for this but you do you, man. Good luck with the smooching.

And maybe we should work on your conversation skills.

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

Sorry. In the battle of wits, my hangover is winning.

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

[.....] A hangoverrrr ♥ I'm so proud of you.

Are you SURE it's not Toddy?? Because I DEF won't tell him

I'll let you off the hook for now.

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

I've made [...] a series of errors in judgement, none of which are to be encouraged.

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

I just want you to live a little in high school, Cash!! Sounds like you're starting to get there, with the boozing and the incoming smooching ;)

Actually have you ever kissed anyone ever?? Do you need me to explain?? Do you Hey just because I'm so proud of you, free protip: don't go heavy on the tongue, it's not cute.

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

IT'S NOT FOR M It's not f [...] My life is truly a rollercoaster.

Reasonable. I don't want anyone's tongue in my mouth.

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

Gooood, you need a bit of upheaval! I worry about you :(

Ok buuut you def want a bit. Just not like. All tongue all the time. Trust me.

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

I'm sorry my relative sobriety has been so upsetting.

A little [ ....... ] I'm [...] almost certainly visualizing this incorrectly. You're the authority. I have to respect the hierarchy of experience.

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

You're literally killing me, Cash. :( Since you've made the leap though, can I get you a drink at the next Grotto party~?

Def am an authority - lemmie know if you need any more tips for smooch-wooing this mystery man.

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

No faith in my commitment to prefecting, I see.

[...] Will do. [...] Don't worry, I suspect it won't become relevant again.

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

There are a bazillion other prefects who don't drink and, also, a bazillion of them who do. Sooooo...

Uhh why not?? You can't just kiss the dude once.

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

So, I'm ineffectual and my presence won't be missed. Got it.

How much tutoring do you think I'll need?

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

I'm just sayin your prefecting presence won't be missed, but the loss of your boozy friend presence would be devastating.

Oh man, we're talking tutoring now? Cash, are you flirting with me???

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

You were the boy in question all along.

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

I KNEW it.

But for reals practice makes perfect! Get out there and lock lips, and I'm always happy to give pointers ♥ you're growing up so fast.

Cash/Hazel

[longcons]

I'm predictable.

[ .................................. ] I'd prefer if you don't tell anyone I asked you about this because [...] of [...] reasons.

Cash/Hazel

[lilwitchhazel]

It's very cute.

My lips are sealed (except for smooching~)