(no subject)

[wholegrain]

hmmmm

if anyone finds themselves in a situation where they could potentially kiss a man-sized cockroach in the near future
maybe take it slow instead

Comments

[wholegrain]

i could never stand in the way of true love though

[uponawire]

How sentient is the man-sized cockroach?

[wholegrain]

there was definitely some communication happening
but it wasn't exactly spoken, it was all eye contact

so i think it has the capacity to love

[uponawire]

Or to eat people.

There's a very fine line here between romantic and waiting to sink its mandibles into your face.

[wholegrain]

ooooooooh so true

this is why we gotta take it slow
maybe if a cockroach tries to kiss you then like hold up a watermelon in front of your face and see what happens

[uponawire]

Prolonged eye-contact is difficult to judge.

Claudius insists that most humans are stringy and awful. But he's an acromantula, so I wouldn't consider him an expert witness to cockroach tastes. They are known to eat garbage.

[wholegrain]

it would be downright irresponsible to think giant arachnids and giant insects share similar tastes
i feel like that's not how you cultivate friendships with the oversized multi-limbed creature community

[uponawire]

Claudius deals exclusively in very expensive steaks. So bringing him very impressive take-out is pretty much how you guarantee that particular friendship.

Maybe giant cockroaches want you to bring them Twinkies.

[wholegrain]

i've never had take-out that i know of. is my friendship with claudius doomed or should i start researching now?

what if i brought them tofu in the shape of a twinkie
it's filled with more tofu

[uponawire]

It's okay, I can make an order for you. We tend to find the best steakhouse wherever we move pretty quickly.

We can start workshopping it now. We'll have it perfected by the time the cockroach shows up.

[wholegrain]

i like this
it's a backdoor to getting me a big bug buddy

better work fast, i think they're popping up in the next few days
but maybe they won't be the last, maybe there's still hope