gooseberryhigh | Reid's not as cute as Diego was.

[Warded to Hunger Games Participants]

Hey. So Sy and I have to run this game.

It goes like this:
If you're in you'll find a plastic knife in your locker tomorrow morning. It's got someone's name on it you have to stab them, take their knife, then stab their target next.
You get stabbed you're out.
Don't actually fucking stab someone just poke them.
No stabbing at quidditch games, grotto parties, inside cabins or showers, in the cafeteria, or in front of teachers. No stabbing naked people. If you want to run around naked all day that's your stupid business.
If you don't die you get all this shit:

A fucking fortune. Seriously this is ridiculous. 985 dragots
An actual crown so you can look like an asshole
A bottle of vodka, five little bottles of firewhiskey they're cute, six expensive looking beers, a glass skull bottle that's still half-full of vodka, some tequila, a bottle of grape(???) flavored vodka
A bullshit conspiracy theory pamphlet
2 chocolate frogs, hot chocolate mix, a couple pieces of chocolate, a shitton of sour patch kids
2 karate lessons with Grace
Sherlock socks (shersocks?)
Soda that will probably kill you
One of Mufferaw's shirts that still smells like him it's weird
Ree will paint your familiar. Like a picture of them not [...] put paint on them anyway uh
Some potions I don't recognize from that creepy Ebonhide soph
Dinah will draw a comic of you winning it'll be great
A dead bird
A blue lightsaber
A cute little robot hedgehog oh shit it's moving I don't know where to store this
A video game to confuse really wizardy winners
Nail polish but some of the bottles look like lady butts??
These little stamp things 🎉 🍆 😍 🔥 👀
Wraith Squadron, Star Wars: X-Wing Series #5, by Aaron Allston. It's a book.
School supplies
A hand drawn comic
Some cool mushrooms but I don't think you should eat them
Tea?
Pink shoelaces very glittery
Cigarettes (don't smoke)
A picture of a cute dog
A Quaffle autographed by the Ballycastle Bats
A photo of Levi he signed (he's naked but not like too naked but enough that I can't make eye contact with him in the photo)
Levi will give you a bottle of Kah tequila later he says so bug him if you win
Also you can go to his wedding
Cheez Whiz
A cowboy outfit for [...] a very very small dog or maybe a kitten
A cool pocket watch
Webster will embarrass you by singing a song at your crush

I think that's it. Don't ruin this for everyone by acting like a jerk and it'll be cool.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If I win, I'm going to paste Levi's head onto the picture of the dog and give it to him as a wedding gift.

Put the dog head on his sexy photo.

GENIUS.

Edited 2018-03-14 20:31 (UTC)

Planning to keep that one for yourself?????????

Tributes

graysanatomyforkids - 2018-03-14 21:14 (UTC) - Expand

leon's been working on his BEACH BOD

Ah fuck are we supposed to get them like real ass grown up presents

Edited 2018-03-14 21:41 (UTC)

I hope not. I'm totally sold on this dog picture idea now. Anyway it doesn't seem like it'd be in keeping with the Spirit of Kramer to get him something that doesn't have an alien on it.

I'll even draw Chad if he wins!!!

Edited (CONSISTENCY!!!) 2018-03-14 20:29 (UTC)

Don't you draw Chad a lot?

I don't draw him looking cool

winterbottom - 2018-03-14 20:34 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 20:35 (UTC) - Expand

winterbottom - 2018-03-14 20:41 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 20:43 (UTC) - Expand

winterbottom - 2018-03-14 20:44 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 20:47 (UTC) - Expand

winterbottom - 2018-03-14 20:53 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 21:01 (UTC) - Expand

winterbottom - 2018-03-14 21:09 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 21:24 (UTC) - Expand

godzillabutworse - 2018-03-14 20:34 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 20:36 (UTC) - Expand

godzillabutworse - 2018-03-14 20:37 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 20:38 (UTC) - Expand

godzillabutworse - 2018-03-14 20:41 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 20:46 (UTC) - Expand

godzillabutworse - 2018-03-14 20:51 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 20:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Tributes

godzillabutworse - 2018-03-14 20:55 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 21:02 (UTC) - Expand

godzillabutworse - 2018-03-14 21:09 (UTC) - Expand

dinahdanger - 2018-03-14 21:25 (UTC) - Expand

godzillabutworse - 2018-03-14 21:39 (UTC) - Expand

Kiss it on its NOSE!!!

Like you mean the hedgehog or...?

YES but also I bet the dog photo would like that too.

cygninae - 2018-03-14 20:37 (UTC) - Expand

magitechnically - 2018-03-14 20:38 (UTC) - Expand

cygninae - 2018-03-14 20:40 (UTC) - Expand

magitechnically - 2018-03-14 20:42 (UTC) - Expand

cygninae - 2018-03-14 20:44 (UTC) - Expand

Danny definitely tried to take a cell phone picture.

graysanatomyforkids - 2018-03-14 20:52 (UTC) - Expand

magitechnically - 2018-03-14 21:11 (UTC) - Expand

OH MY GOD THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY!

Edited 2018-03-14 23:39 (UTC)

Right? ??

How do they have so much money to donate that they don't even miss that??? I can't even picture like the size of a pile of money that totals up to that amount!