gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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[Warded to Gabi]

rethinking my reply to your earlier question: i am a terrible prefect and i have no idea what i'm doing. who allowed teenagers to be in any way responsible for other teenagers? like - how is this a thing? who thought this was a good idea?

[Warded to Wyatt]

when this whole school implodes and i lose my scholarship and my mother reveals her true, demonic form in order to eat my face straight off, please play something super nice at my funeral. like, maybe some beatles music. always a classic.

also: this inevitability also means that you will be morally obligated to take care of ariel. she's yours now. congratulations. also, gabi. but that's less of an obligation and more of a privilege. do not abuse it.

[Warded to Lucas]

are you studying? ~~is it worki~~ how's that going?

do you sometimes think about the fact that people attending no-maj schools only really maybe worry about people posting dumb shit about them on facebook? cause i totally think about that sometimes.

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it's probably best that you retain the possibility of becoming a musical prodigy. you never know when you might need it. you wanna [...] watch something? i'd ask if you wanted to go for a walk, but we live in a horrifying murder forest. so indoor activities are probably best.

seriously, we're all so beyond the scope of facebook at this point. facebook ain't got shit.

good enough? good-ish? good adjacent? [...] we could take a nap? my nieces have good things to say about them.

I'm a real virtuoso so long as the only song I'm playing is Heart and Soul. [...] Yeah, that sounds [...] really good. And not at all likely to get us whisked away to Neverland. Any preference on what to watch this time?

I'd like to see a cyberbully come here and try to start something with a giant deer monster.

Good-esque? Off Good? We'll workshop it. [...] I wouldn't be opposed to a nap, either.

it's a niche market, but somebody's got to fill it. [...] so what we're saying is that the 1953 disney classic is right out? what're you interested in? romance? horrible dance routines? explosions?

well, that's ONE way to stop the bullying epidemic in american schools. but if the battle was being waged on the front of cattiness alone, who knows? it could go either way.

diet good. good lite. [...] we can find a good nap movie. maybe nix the explosions.

Personal preference? Hard no on any iteration of Peter Pan for the foreseeable future. If we're cutting out explosions and looking for a good nap movie, what about something animated? Iron Giant or something?

You know, I think I'd still put my money on the forest shit, but who knows, it's hard to beat an anonymous teenager when it comes to cattiness.

Good, jr. Or, The Artist Formerly Known as Good. That's a bit of a mouthful, tho.

you just want to watch me cry like a 12-year-old girl. but i'm down with it. i have accepted my emotions and am willing to bank on the hope that i'll pass out BEFORE the part. y'know. that one. where i experience said emotions.

it'd definitely be the sort of race people could put down some serious cash money on.

you want me to come out your way?

A race against the clock. Nap or cry. Who will win?

You know if we make it through the end of the school year and Gooseberry stays open maybe we could monetize this.

[...] Yeah, do you mind? The further we both are from the woods, the better I feel.

who knows, maybe it'll be both. i might sleep-cry.

junior year plans ahoy. they HAVE to let us come back now.

yeah, no. you are safely not in the middle of bat country. this is the most sensible option.

I admire your ability to multitask.

Can't close the school. This is America. There's money to be made.

Cool. Bird country may be a little noisier, but a lot safer. You can't even throw yourself off the cliff.

single-tasking is way harder, honestly.

us scholarship kids don't provide enough money. we're just here to be first choice for the blood sacrifices.

eh, a little noise never hurt nobody. we're not allowed to throw ourselves off of cliffs? but this is a free country!

Sometimes, I don't know how people do it.

The secret ingredient is academic ambition and/or being terrorized into doing well by your parents expectations. Just makes that blood especially potent for all sorts of dark rituals.

You can try, but the alarms'll go off and who wants to deal with that. Freedom to fling yourself off a cliff? Sure. Not freedom from consequence.

and admirable deal of self restraint?

man, i'm gonna be a delicious sacrificial lamb. liberally flavored by the power of grade-based anxiety and jewish guilt. i'll open the gates of hell myself.

well, no. it'd still end poorly. but i'd be ALLOWED and that's what really matters.

I can only hope to reach such heights.

You're destined for big things. At least you'll do your family proud one way or another? I mean, what else are you going to be when you learn your son bridged the gap between the living and the damned? You can't be mad about that. It's too impressive.

Freedom isn't free, Bash.

i believe in you. if i can open a portal into hell itself, you can DEFINITELY become a respected paragon of self restraint and single-minded focus.

i've got MAYBE four dollars? how far's that gonna get me?

Lofty goals, but maybe I'll reach them with your encouragement.

Man, that's not going to grease many hands. Four bucks nets you the freedom to toss something less than 5lbs off the cliff, at best.

that's what i'm here for. encouragement and tripping over rocks while i write and walk. texting is easier, despite it's rightfully bad rep.

i guess i could throw myself off the cliff piece by piece. take out a payment plan or something.

Don't eat gravel. It's bad for you. [...] Speaking of, we should swap numbers. For summer. Faster than owling.

With 24 easy installments of $4.00, you might just be able to get all of yourself over that cliff before we graduate. I wouldn't advise it, though. Once you've tossed both arms off the cliff it may be hard to pass most wand-based classes.

but exactly HOW bad? we maybe able to find out right now. [...] yes! yes, definitely. that'd be [...] great. we can do that. our owl's ancient anyway. and only likes my mom.

it'd be super hard to toss the rest of me without my arms too. so i'd fail in SO many different ways.

I'm going to give an imprecise estimate of "pretty." It's pretty bad.

Cool.

Sorry your dream had to end this way. At least you've still got the hell portal to look forward to?

that's not very scientific.

now all we gotta do is not die before the summer. seems pretty worth it, though. the not-dying. then. um. right!

it was a good dream while it lasted. well. i mean, i GUESS i can look forward to it if i don't end up a fully drained blood sacrifice? otherwise, you're just going to have to look forward to it for me.

I'm still waiting on more peer-reviewed literature on the subject.

Yeah, [...] the not dying horribly thing. We should try extra hard to avoid that.

Can do. Or maybe we can figure out a goal that does not end in your demise. That'd be alright, too.

well, if i fall flat on my face i promise to submit a full report for the betterment of scientific research.

i guess i got some pretty decent shit to not die for. so i could probably stick around for a while.

Great. It'll be a valued contribution to this underserved field.

Glad to hear it. [...] I'm pretty invested in your continued survival.

i've always wanted to be a footnote on an academic paper.

that's - yeah, that's nice. [...] hey, closing up journal shop. will be at you in a minute. with or without valuable scientific data.

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