(no subject)

[professionalcorpse]

so it's shark week.

in my house, that means it's time to melt into the couch while my dad yells at various australians on our tv as they stab great whites with tiny tracking-device harpoons and almost get themselves eaten by things.

which is great! but tonight's 'sharks and the city: nyc' special wasn't at all about anthropomorphic sharks living undetected in our neighborhoods, going to PTA meetings by day and chewing on small children and house pets under the cover of darkness. it wasn't even about sarah jessica parker secretly being a mako. and i'm really fucking disappointed. i'm just saying. a lot of potential was wasted here.

Comments

[professionalcorpse]

you win. that's way more horrifying - knowing that the eyball scoopers are waiting for you. your fate is eyeball removal and then being stuffed.

one toddler? sure. ten toddlers? dude, those little shits can head the hell home. and there's a lot of fleshy bits involved. and it's like nobody could really decide what color it wanted to be? so they just flicked a lot of paint on it, covered it in dots, and called it a day. shoddy craftsmanship. the bones might be okay, though.

welcome. it's terrible here, but we got two packs thin mints and a lean to.

[bubblewrapped]

You know, I figured that's how I'd end up.

I consider myself a fan of the dots. So don't listen to Jarvis. He just doesn't know art. Skeletons, yes. Art, no.

Can we survive on that? Probably.

[professionalcorpse]

i'd come visit your display.

my gram says she's like to take a sharpie to me. trace some constellations on my face or something. then i'd be ready to be stuffed in the moma.

at least for a little while. maybe. if outdoor education taught me anything.

[bubblewrapped]

Thanks. Depending on who winds up stuffed and put on display first, I'll come visit you too.

I guess we'll just have to escalate our rebellion to survive.

[professionalcorpse]

thanks! i appreciate that. make sure they don't let me get all dusty.

we'll start scavenging. i mean, it's that or robbery.

[bubblewrapped]

I was thinking I could bring a dustbuster, but museum custodians are wiley and "disrupted museum display" doesn't really mesh with the rest of the criminal resume I'm building, so I'll just write a strongly worded letter if you seem too dusty, instead.

[professionalcorpse]

no, don't go out of your way with the dustbusting. it's cool. and, i mean, 'expert at persuasive communication' would probably look a lot better in the other skills section anyway.