MEAN GIRLS' DAY IN THE DUNGEONS

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MEAN GIRLS' DAY IN THE DUNGEONS

Casey Patterson instructed Ariadne Flint, Charlotte Meer, Fern Mufferaw, Jade Otterwell, Mackenzie Prince, Riley Stamper, and Ursula de Luca to clear their calendars for the evening with no indication of what he had in store. As the girls file into the empty Lodge classroom, they're met with a large table and... a map? Action figures? Dice?

That's right: social capital be damned, the Mean Girls are about to play Dungeons & Dragons. (And they're called "miniatures," not "action figures," B T W.) At least Mackenzie brought snacks!

Casey tells them to sit down and listen the fuck up, then hands each player a character sheet, a set of dice, and a small figurine depicting their adventurer. As he does so, he begins to explain the setting. Adventurers, welcome to...

THE WOLVES OF WELTON

🗡  Ariadne will play Carric Nightbreeze, a Half-Elf Cleric
🗡  Charlotte will play Yotul Marzush, a Half-Orc Ranger
🗡  Fern will play Silaqui Xiloscient, a Wood Elf Paladin
🗡  Jade will play Euphemia Hilltopple, a Lightfoot Halfling Warlock
🗡  Mackenzie will play Riswynn Brawnanvil, a Hill Dwarf Sorcerer
🗡  Riley will play Wrazita Crulmacmaadath, a Dragonborn Barbarian
🗡  Ursula will play Zanji Bigleaf, a Forest Gnome Rogue
⚔   Full character details and a link to the Player's Handbook are here.

HOW THIS IC/OOC WORKS

• Characters' characters are called adventurers, the team the party.


• Whereas traditional Dungeons & Dragons is split between role-playing and dice-rolling, this IC/OOC will focus on the role-playing aspect through prose. You will not roll any dice (Kas/Casey will make any necessary rolls).


• The story is split into four key scenes, and although the conclusion of most scenes is already determined, the party has to decide how to get from one scene to the next. Scene conclusions are in the Squad Goals bubbles.


• Different solutions can lead to completely different campaign conclusions, so work together and get creative!


• Casey is the Dungeon Master. He narrates the story, explains the environment, and determines (with dice rolls) whether or not adventurers are successful when they attempt certain actions. (More on this below.)


• Regular IC will be formatted as normal, but when Casey's speaking as the DM/etc., it's usually formatted like this.


• Prompts for adventurers are underlined, but they aren't the only things adventurers can do or take note of.


• Because this is a dry run I'm not putting everything in Casey's voice. I straight-up pasted stuff from the adventure manual this time and I don't feel sorry about that.


• Today's adventure is The Wolves of Welton by Winghorn Press. (You don't need to know this IC.)

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HOW TO PLAY

• How does D&D work, you ask? Well, for one? Nothing like this.


• This is a VERY loose interpretation of 5e Dungeons & Dragons. Don't worry about your character's stats. I have them and I'll be doing the rolls, which have been ultra-simplified to d20s + modifiers).


• There is no order of play. (ex. Zeke, then Martina, then Jimmy, etc.) It would be wise, however, to comment when you plan to write the next tag.


• Don't godmod the NPCs! Casey's job is to narrate the story, both as the disembodied and all-knowing voice of the Dungeon Master, and as the people adventurers meet and interact with.


• HOW TO PLAY: Work together to solve the problem!
  1. In third-person prose, declare what you are doing (ex. Zeke slams his fist on the table. "Gulton [or "I"] asks the innkeeper if he's selling any ponies!").
  2. Then, either the next adventurer reacts, or—if it needs a roll or NPC interaction (below)—Casey will pop in with the information you need.
  3. Continue in this way until you've reached the Squad Goal, which will allow you to move on to the next scene. (Except for 1a. ARRIVAL AT THE VILLAGE (ecause whatever, it's just an intro thing.)


• Any time an adventurer wants to do something that involves the environment (ex. speak to an NPC, pick a pocket, inspect a new room, start a fight), Casey has to roll whether or not they were successful before you can continue.


• ⛏ Things you need Casey to roll/contribute to are usually marked with this icon.


• SKILLS: Each adventurer has access to the same number of skills. When Casey rolls to find out if you were successful in an attempt to do something, he makes a roll (called a check) and compares it to a secret number it needs to be greater than. If you pass, you were successful!
  
  Different skills are used for different things. If you want to steal, Casey will make a Sleight of Hand check. If you want to see if you know how to use plant X for injury Y, he makes a Nature check.
  
  Here is a good list of ways to use skills.
  
  In most cases Casey will decide which skill to roll for, but if you're feeling creative, your character can say something like "I'm going to use my Athletics skill to shove Jimmy into the lake." Case would then make an Athletics check for you.


• SKILL PROFICIENCIES: Each adventurer is also proficient in a few skills, giving them a bonus to those particular rolls.


• If your character has SPELLS, they can only use each spell once a day. Keep in mind that there may be a battle today, so if you're a spellcaster and you use up all your spells before you get to scene 3, you're going to have to get creative!
  If your character has SPELL SLOTS, they can only use that many of their spells per day.
  CANTRIPS, however, can be cast as many times a day as you want.

» 0. SETTING THE SCENE: Before the game begins.

» 1. WELTON (AIN'T WELL): The adventurers arrive at Welton and learn about today's quest.

» 2. PLAN OF ATTACK: So... what's up?

» 3. THE (DEN)IZENS: Takin' care of business.

» 4. THE AFTERMATH: Tying up loose ends.

» OOC: Questions: I anticipate there will be A LOT of these because we've never done this before and it's confusing as fuck, so here's a whole thread.

» OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

Comments

0. SETTING THE SCENE

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0a. PRE-GAME & ARRIVAL

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Because it's important to know what you're wearing to a mysterious evening activity.

Riley Mae

[riledup]

Riley trusts that Casey has something badass for them, and not something that involves spreadsheets, thinking, strategizing, cooperating, or any of the other myriad skills she does not possess. So she shows up looking like, in her words, the baddest bitch at a bachelorette bash. You all get twenty minutes before she starts complaining about being so cold, like it's anyone's fault but her own that she didn't grab a sweatshirt.

"I don't see any kissing games, boo boo," she says, very suspicious of the setting they just walked into.

0b. IN-CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS

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Casey hands each player a character sheet, a set of dice, and a small figurine depicting their adventurer. As he does so, he begins to explain the setting...

It’s been a long time since the people of Welton have worried about anything more frightening than sheep ticks or a late frost, but a now a pack of strangely determined wolves is driving farmers from their fields and spiriting away entire flocks in the middle of the night. With food supplies running low and their sorcerer-in-residence nowhere to be found, the village council sends out a desperate plea for brave adventurers to destroy the beasts for good.

There's an 800GP reward for the brave person (or persons) who take care of their wolf problem. Having heard about this (whether through word of mouth, a job board, or your Adventurer's Guild), you traveled to the village and arrived this morning. It's now mid-day and time to get to work. Probably.

The adventurers are invited to introduce themselves. This is OOC (it happens out of the in-campaign events) but is done IC (Casey encourages them to talk about themselves in the first-person, using a special voice if they so choose).

Share your name, what you do, notable features or behaviours, and a little background if you came up with one. Although Casey provided everyone with a character, you can still make up things like personality, background, and motivations!

Is the job as easy as a walk in the woods, or is there more to the Wolves of Welton than mere animal cunning? There's only one way to find out…

ADVENTURERS

🗡  Ariadne will play Carric Nightbreeze, a Half-Elf Cleric
🗡  Charlotte will play Yotul Marzush, a Half-Orc Ranger
🗡  Fern will play Silaqui Xiloscient, a Wood Elf Paladin
🗡  Jade will play Euphemia Hilltopple, a Lightfoot Halfling Warlock
🗡  Mackenzie will play Riswynn Brawnanvil, a Hill Dwarf Sorcerer
🗡  Riley will play Wrazita Crulmacmaadath, a Dragonborn Barbarian
🗡  Ursula will play Zanji Bigleaf, a Forest Gnome Rogue
⚔   Full character details and a link to the Player's Handbook are here.

1. WELTON (AIN'T WELL)

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1a. ARRIVAL AT THE VILLAGE

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Welton sits on the banks of a slow-moving river, with gentle hills rising up on each side. The houses and shops are generally made of oak, painted bright white, and many have elaborate carvings worked into the eaves. Wheat and sheep farming dominate the local economy, and people pay much more attention to the weather and wool prices than rumors of distant wars or disasters.

The vast majority of the population are human, though there is a sizeable minority of halflings and a handful of dwarves. While it is by no means a rich village, Welton isn’t poverty-stricken either. However, observant characters will notice that there are more people idling in the streets than you may expect at this time of year, and many appear to be openly concerned and may be hungry or worried about food. Unusually heavy traffic and the impact of many hooves have reduced the dirt streets to muddy quagmires in places.

The village offers little beyond a small general store and virtually nothing of interest to outsiders other than the Shepherd’s Crook, which happens to be hosting a village council meeting.

Some things you might get up to...

• ⛏ Try to talk to the townspeople
• ⛏ Fuck around
• Go directly to the Shepherd's Crook
• These are SUGGESTIONS and their like won't be posted on any further comments; just assume you can always try to talk to people to see what they know, interact with the environment, etc.

Squad Goals: To head into the Shepherd's Crook.

1b. THE SHEPHERD'S CROOK

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This ancient inn is one of the oldest and largest buildings in the village, sitting opposite both the Growers’ Hall and the Fleecers’ Hall. It is a traditional inn, with a common room at the front, a private dining and meeting room at the back and guest rooms upstairs.

With so many extra people staying in the village the inn is always crowded. Tanned and weather-beaten shepherds in woollen cloaks smoke long-stemmed pipes while drinking cider and muttering amongst themselves, while small groups of young men and women nurse their drinks and mostly stay quiet.

The innkeeper is a dwarven women named Leanor Slatebeard, who runs the bar while her husband Banteth deals with both the kitchen and the brewing. It's also home to a halfling named Willen Featherock, a traumatised victim of a wolf attack.

Squad Goals: To enter the village council meeting.

1c. THE SHEPHERD'S CROOK: THE COUNCIL MEETING

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As the party approaches the meeting room you can hear raised voices, and when you enter, a male halfling (Tillus Merrion of the Growers and Buyers' Association) is bitterly arguing with a human dressed in priestly robes (Father Merrikson) about whether the village should stop exporting its grain and other food while the crisis with the wolves remains unresolved.

The meeting is being held in a plain room, centered around a large wooden table with eight chairs set around it. Five of the chairs are filled with human men, one by a human woman and two by halflings - one female and the other the male that had just been speaking.

The halfling man turns to face your party at the door, red-faced. "The village council has no time for interlopers! State your business!" Casey demands in the halfing's gruff voice.

The village council knows all about the goings-on and you get the impression that they're the people 'in the know' regarding the wolves sitch. If you're here to take the job, these are the people you'll need to talk to.

Squad Goals: To accept the job Takin' Care of Wolf-Ness.

2. PLAN OF ATTACK

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"'Kay, so," Casey raises an eyebrow over his DM screen, "How're you gonna take care of these mean-ass fuckin' wolves? You gonna try to track 'em, or bait 'em out, or run into the forest like a bunch of dumbshits?" He leans back in his chair and shrugs. "Or do, like, whatever."

Squad Goals:

(1) Decide how you're going to find the wolves
(2) ⛏ Play it out IC.
Casey will determine how successful you are at whatever you decide.
(3) By the end, to arrive at the wolf den. Um, hopefully.

3. THE (DEN)IZENS

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The wolves have made their den in a cave system on the western edge of the woods.

From the treeline it is possible to see a cave entrance roughly 10ft wide and 10ft tall at its highest point, set into a low cliff of grey stone. A thin plume of smoke appears to be coming from a point on the hill above the cliff, maybe 30ft back from the cave entrance.

This scene can go in a bunch of different directions. Some situations call for stealth, others for running forward and smashing shit with your axe. Work as a team, ⛏ ask questions about your surroundings, keep your proficiencies in mind, and ⛏ make sure to wait for the DM to inform you of your success!

Squad Goals: Decide how to enter the cave, then ⛏ play it out IC. Casey will determine how successful you are at whatever you decide to do.

By the end, one way or another, you'll have found a solution to Welton's wolf woes. Some solutions require you to return to Welton and discuss options with the village council.

4. THE AFTERMATH

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4a. THE GRAND FINALE

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[This depends on how your party solves the problem so it obviously isn't written yet.]

4b. THE MEAN GIRLS RETURN

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[This will also be written depending on how things play out, but it's the "yay the game's over" bit.]

OOC: Questions

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I anticipate a lot of these. ._.

Q: Where's the fighting?!

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because someone's going to ask~

the short: that's gonna be really freaking hard to figure out

the long: i figure that this isn't going to end up completely played out (which is fine) so i didn't want to put the work into writing all three battles that this campaign can have. this is already so long and so big and too extra and too much, please don't hate me for not killing everything in sight.

i left one battle in and i'll write it up similar to a quidditch match, with volunteer bits and pieces, depending on what happens IC up to that point. (spoilers: it's in scene 3).

for actual future d&d events my plan is to have it influenced by the adventurers our characters come up with, but that's in the "holy fuck that's too much for me to handle right now" for this session, given that this is the first time we've tried anything like this IC.

OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[sunsoutgunsout]

get ready for this fucking doozy, it's like a dry run times a million?!?! i honestly have no idea if it makes sense and i think we're going to have to figure A LOT stuff out as we go along, so i apologize in advance.

i also thank you for taking this experimental journey with me. gosh.

Re: OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[riledup]

I'm sorry Riley's so dumb she's going to be a dead weight on everyone, but I spent a lot of time coming up with her outfit so there's that.

Re: OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[longcons]

i lvoe this, you

Re: OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[bubblewrapped]

Dambo this is awesome

Re: OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[cecaelian]

ohhhhhhhhhh my gosh kas???????????? this is crazy i need to read everything still but this is amazing?????????? I HAVE NOT BEEN SO WORRIED ABOUT WHAT MY CHARACTER IS WEARING SINCE PROM.

Re: OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[ashworthless]

THIS
IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL!??!!

Re: OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[nothalfplaid]

Fern is just playing as Cameron.

Re: OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[meerigold]

HOLY SHIT KAS


also are any of them actually gonna dress up?

Re: OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[neattrick]

This is amazing holy shit

I'm still ~4 hrs out from having an internet connection so feel free to go on without me but ilu guys

Re: OOC: Comments, concerns, chupacabra!

[princeprincess]

THIS IS AMAZING???? Ohhhh my god. Uh I may need to return to this Sunday night when I'm home properly and can play for real instead of stealing tags on my phone. BUT WOW I'M SO IMPRESSED.