gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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[scribbly; there are some wet patches, as though Wilde wrote this with soil on his hands]

Hey --

There's a bowtruckle in the Gardening Club patch.

It was freaking the fuck out and Hightower and I had to calm it down, so--
Be nice to it, use low voices.
Say hello and introduce yourself, since it looks like it's going to stay.
Fucking rad.

We called it Spore.

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Bowtruckles are cute as fuck, I'm making friends with him.

This one's also really fucking old. It's like a cute old man who wants to beat you up for looking at his garden wrong. We're going to be best friends.

He sounds so your type. Should I offer him a cigarette?

Maybe a poptart.

I guess I can spoil the little guy.

Please don't offer bowtruckles cigarettes, they're really bad for them!

I was just kidding, don't worry.

NICE. Do you know which tree it's living in?

[...] I'm not sure I have a 'low' voice, though.

I think it's the bendy one by the corner of the patch?
I mean, it looks like the kind of tree a bowtruckle would live in, right?

He's very sensitive.

TOTALLY. We should probably put up a sign or something. I've read those little guys can be SUPER TERRITORIAL.

[...] Maybe there's a potion for this.

Yeah, we should put up a sign.
It was his tree first.

Project?

Can't it just be notebook paper?

Not if we're going to leave it OUTSIDE.

Charmed notebook paper?

I'm starting to think your heart's not in this, dude.

I don't have lots of time.
I do have lots of paper. But I guess Spore deserves better. Maybe.

Sheesh, and here I thought you were a friend to all the animals.

I am, that's why I have to economize, here.
There's a lot of animals.

Gonna be a lot of disappointed animals out there. At least you're not holding it against the bowtruckle for being kinda like a plant.

Now I feel like an asshole, and also like I need to lovingly chisel "don't touch me, I'm not a plant" into a metal plaque on the cabin floor all night.