Senior Jorts Day

[solveforx]

SENIOR JORTS DAY

Happy Flag Day everyone. On this day in 1777, the United States adopted its flag by resolution of the Second Continental Congress. On this day in 2014, a bunch of seventeen and eighteen-year-olds wore cutoff jean shorts to class at their magic haunted camping school, because some idiot had been pestering them to do it since AT LEAST January 27th and PROBABLY since September.

There's some sort of arbitrary-sounding contest going on, as well. Jortswearers can approach Xavier Lewis to received Jorts Judgment and compete for the handsome prizes: a Barbie leg nailed to a block of wood, spray painted gold, a 🔥mixtape🔥 comprised entirely of songs about shorts and a bottle full of vodka gummy bears.

Join in the festivities, because, like, I'm pretty sure you're all going to die in a week and a half, anyway, consumed mind, body, and soul by the things that lurk in the dark parts of the forest. So, live a little. While you still can.

HOW THIS WORKS

• Wear jorts.


• Mandatory fun.


• If you do not have jorts, bring jeans to Xavier. He can help. He has scissors.


• Teachers ask that jorts not reach more than three inches above your fingertips. Mind dress code violations!! Or don't. Because you're graduating in like a week. And, anyway, life is but a walking shadow, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, etc. etc.


• Xavier will also assist in procuring leggings or biker shorts for the bashful. You aren't getting out of this.


• This is like ... just ... completely ridiculous. And for all those with a burning desire to take home a spray painted barbie leg, I'll be rolling until Friday 4PM EST / 2PM MST.


• Feel free to argue with Xavier about your score.


• If thou seekest judgment, fill out this here form and post it to the Jorts Judgment heading.

<b>Name(s):</b> New phone who dis <b>What're You Rocking:</b> Anything special in the jorts department? <b>Why Do You Deserve to Win:</b> 140 Characters or less, TWEET @ ZAV WHY UR JORTS ARE BEST JORTS.

» JORTS JUDGMENT: Get your jorts judged.

» ELSEWHERE: Thread here if you like really want to.

» OOC - Questions, comments, concerns!

Comments

JORTS JUDGMENT

[solveforx]

This is so ridiculous and stupid.

Judge Robin if u dare

[hisshiss]

Name(s): Robin Maverick Youngblood
What're You Rocking: Robin does not look like this dude. For one, his legs are blindingly white. He doesn't even need to put sunscreen on them because they just reflect the sun. He's also maybe wearing a shirt.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: Robin has never worn an American flag before in his life. This is for you, class of 2014.

Dahlia HALE YES

[dollywould]

Name(s): Dahlia Haaaaale
What're You Rocking: She did the artwork herself.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: The art is a DAHLIA HALE ORIGINAL and the TIGER has BLOOD dripping from its TEETH. BLOOD. DRIPPING FROM ITS TEETH!!!

#quinning

[quinning]

Name(s): Quinn "Basic Bitch" Cunningham
What're You Rocking: Her only pair! (I love/hate when I've already established this IC. Wtf am I doing with my life?)
Why Do You Deserve to Win: SELF-SACRIFICE. Quinn's shorts are 3"* too short and she's already removed 9 points from Azurcrest—3 for each inch of scandal.

* as a hobbit myself, this was hard to determine. i asked alex, who is at work in an office, to measure her leg with a ruler and then demanded different results. we settled on 3".

Maggie G

[momblogger]

Name(s): Magdalen Gillis
What're You Rocking: It's jorts..... but a skort!!!
Why Do You Deserve to Win: A privileged upbringing makes it easy for her to become successful.

Rafael Ramirez

[firstposition]

Name(s): Rafael Ramirez
What're You Rocking: His linen-to-denim transfiguration experiment birthed a minor fashion crime.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: Rafael's participation alone is noteworthy, but he's dressed like your dad on a beach vacation. Someone get him a fanny pack and a daiquiri.

Diego Morales

[indiefolk]

Name(s): Diego Morales
What're You Rocking: The kind of too-short, low-hanging jorts I can't find a photo of while I'm at work. Marin was kind enough to provide both of these image references for how trashy my son is.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: Diego is carved from marble and looks like he ought to be posing in a construction-site-based photoshoot, or maybe starring in a short film where he accepts alternate payment for fixing your plumbing. A prefect needs to take some points and tell him to go change ASAP.

These jorts are OUT OF THIS WORLD

[gdilevi]

Name(s): Levi!!
What're You Rocking: Old Levi's cutoffs with the solar system painted on them by someone far more artistically skilled than he.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: He shares a name with a famous No-Maj jorts manufacturer. His name is even on the label!!!

Also, he's in violation of dress code but he only has Charms today and team GB has dissolved for the year so WHAT DOES HE CARE???

Kazim embraces the holiday spirit

[kazim]

Name(s): Kazim Raza
What're You Rocking: He's got a full outfit and no regrets.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: He was up and dressed like this at 5 AM when a giant bear escorted him to the lodge. That's gotta be style.

Ty Hawkeswood

[tyhawkeswood]

Name(s): Ty Hawkeswood
What're You Rocking: A pair of short overalls and sneakers and nothing else. He's got a shirt in his bag but he only plans to wear it during class. It's hot, guys. (A prefect should probably ruin his day.)
Why Do You Deserve to Win: He shouldn't. Do these even count? Get it together, Hawkeswood.

Ravi Dhaliwal

[knightly]

Name(s): Ravinder Dhaliwal
What're You Rocking: A pair of modest shorts that the fashion-conscious might call cut-offs rather than jorts, which are neatly cuffed to just above the knee, and worn over opaque black leggings. THANK YOU ZAV.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: LOL uh he really doesn't. That said, Ravi wears jeans maybe twice every year, and shorts never, but he loves Xavier too much to opt out of Senior Jorts Day. :(

Mackenzie "Legs For Days" Prince

[princeprincess]

Name(s): Mackenzie Prince
What're You Rocking: High waisted shorts so high they almost double as a corset.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: She'll settle for the baby sister leg trophy, but next year she's going for gold. She's definitely breaking dress code but also LOOK AT THEM GAMS.

Cecil Honeychurch

[choneychurch]

Name(s): Cecil Honeychurch
What're You Rocking: Simple, modest shorts, a sweatshirt, and a belt. He didn't really want to do this but participating with the rest of the senior class is important to him! So here he is. Wearing jorts.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: He doesn't. He's just participating to participate. Ignore his boring self and awkward shuffling.

Iris GOES TO THIS SCHOOL AFTER ALL!

[irisatlarge]

Name(s): Iris Shacklebolt
What're You Rocking: Cutoffs covered in patches of colourful lips; crimson tights; a t-shirt; a light, flowy cardigan; and a sunhat embroidered with roses. The ensemble. This is why her father's cronies dress her for press conferences.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: Because Iris is actually getting fucking played after a month of lying dormant. Like a volcano.

Natey Bird

[birdbrainy]

Name(s): Nathaniel "The Bird" Bird
What're You Rocking: Perfect for hunting.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: You shouldn't even be able to see these jorts, how are you supposed to judge them?

Judge Penny Pls

[get_fucked]

Name(s): Penelope Vargas
What're You Rocking: jean overalls!. They might be too short on normal people, but Penny is 4'9" so they make it to just about her knee, definitely past her tiny baby arms.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: @Zav - Because they're out of style and unconventional we gotta BRING 'EM BACK!

Have Mercy

[misericordias]

Name(s): Mercedes Estrada
What're You Rocking: Not only does Mercy own several pairs of jorts, but she also has several pairs of embroidered jorts, specifically. Absolutely none of them are subtle.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: She just likes these jorts, son!!! Mercy is 9/10tths bright colors and flowers today and she kind of looks like your grandma's quilt had a baby with some prayer flags, and honestly? She's feelin it.

I needed a place to post Xavier's atrocious ensembel

[solveforx]

Name(s): Xavier Madhava Senior Jorts Day Lewis
What're You Rocking: Xavier's look is on point. Yes, those are women's jorts and yes he looks good thanks for asking. He has lost all the points for his transgressions. He has no regrets.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: today was a reward in itself. This was his favorite bonding activity. Way better than the dong clams.

Hard to make a pun out of "Anuhea"

[alapai]

Name(s): Anuhea Alapai
What're You Rocking: Anu is wearing booty jorts over fishnets — plus, I don't know, a WIZARD Ramones shirt. Anyway, they're probably tighter than these, because it is high key a roller derby look. Like, this is definitely a dress code violation, but in her defence, the vibe is definitely less "come hither" and more "I could break your kneecaps."
Why Do You Deserve to Win: Anuhea can squat like 100lbs. Her quads are incredible. I'm very proud of her and wish I was that dedicated to me ol' ham hocks.

Jesse's Jorts

[jijmjr]

Name(s): Jesse Iain James McBride Jr.
What're You Rocking: Jesse is out here looking like Denim Dan. Instead of a Hawaiian T, he's rocking his uniform undershirt. For the first time in his life, he's happily wearing his cross-tie/neckerchief/ascot/whatever the fuck. It completes the ensemble. Oh! Don't forget those sketcher sneaks and some truly atrocious sunnies.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: @Zav Cuz it's cha boi

Riley "Legs for Five Minutes" Stamper

[riledup]

Name(s): Lady Glitter
What’re You Rocking: She wears and loves these unironically, even if they don’t even violate the 3” rule. (on her not that model, that model has monster arms) (and also if you count the fringe, THE FRINGE SHOULD COUNT)
Why Do You Deserve to Win: Because she didn’t wear the matching shirt and choker thing and I’m proud of her.

LEO SUCCUMBS

[ninjaleo]

Name(s): Leo Fiori
What're You Rocking: After some otherworldy intervention, Leo made some of his pants disappear at the knee and cuffed them. I picked this picture because that's what Leo's hands were doing all day, too. They're pretty boring. He is just wearing a tshirt. It is not impressive. Please let him blend into a wall. He's still humbled and if teased will not acknowledge what he has on. THEY ARE JUST NORMAL JEANS that decided to stop at his knees.
Why Do You Deserve to Win: Because he wore shorter pants.

Isaiah is so uncomfortable

[pianississimo]

Name(s): Isaiah Covington
What're You Rocking: This but Isaiah instead of a vaguely creepy white man. Isaiah is making up for his discomfort at the notion of wearing shorts to class with a classy cardigan and hat.

(Incidentally I really tried to find a pic of Lucien Laviscount in jorts but alas my life is not that grand. However I did find this and I would like an explanation.)

Why Do You Deserve to Win: He's only doing this out of love for you, Xavier.

ELSEWHERE

[solveforx]

Okay but like for real if you can honest to god think of something to thread in this ridiculous ic ooc and you get through more than three tags I will draw you a (heinously shitty) picture of ur character.

Senior Ebonboys, Accepting Their Lot in Life

[birdbrainy]

The look on Nate's face very clearly says "I don't really want to do this." And yet he's in shorts, made from denim, instead of obeying the actual school dress code, thanks to a lifelong policy of nonconfrontation whenever possible. Also possibly thanks to haunted dolls controlling his subconscious. Didn't really matter which.

"They don't have to be actual cutoffs, right?" he asks, remembering promises of help with scissors for those who were fortunate enough to not own actual jorts. Nate really didn't want to cut up his jeans for the sake of a joke holiday either. He looks over at one of the dolls. "Girls, are you joining in?"

OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

[solveforx]

If any underclassmen decide to participate they are automatically entered into the running for a Baby Sister Kelly leg stapled to a pop cap, spray painted silver.

Re: OOC - QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS!

[goosemods]

i love zav

and you