Gooseberry High

Doop doop #2.

Nowhere in Humpty Dumpty does it actually say he's an egg.

Have a good summer.

Class of 2014, Brightest Minds and Best Stems of their generation. [...] Thanks for yesterday folks. Think we have any energy remaining to channel into decimating the rest of the school in the water balloon fight at all? Or will we really even have to try?

And a fun fact for the road: Pineapples aren't a single fruit. They're a cluster of berries fused together. Like, they're the John Carpenter's The Thing of fruit. Yum??

[Warded to Reid]

How's studying? You are studying, right? Cuz you gotta.

[...] Would you mind listening to my super boring and not at all romantic final project presentation tonight after class? I gotta practice. I'm [...] kinda freaked out about it.

[Warded to Senior Ribbonfins]

Can't believe it's the last day of class tomorrow. My dudes and dudettes, it has been a great pleasure. If ya'll wanna go in for one last panicked study sesh, it seems like a great way to spend a Saturday night. I will, like, never be adequately prepared for Hermeticism?

Also who's the bigger threat in the water balloon fight? Juniors or sophs?? The juniors are all pretty wily but the sophomores operate like one entity and it kind of scares me???

[...] Oh yeah, everyone scare Ursula when you see her. We'll get those hiccups sorted, yet.

So, like, if you recorded yourself saying "Beetlejuice" once and then played it back on loop at 300% speed...how fucked do you think Beetlejuice would be?

[Failed Ward to Ribbongents]

Good morning my favorite gentlemen. I know I've kinda sorta mentioned it a little bit. But I guess I should say it for real.

Mom and Dad are kicking me out after graduation. And I'm terrified So it's good that Fuck

So there's that.

I'll be okay. Not sure what I'll do until the apartment is ready

Just needed to tell you guys. Don't freak.

Good morning GBHS. May your migraines be light and your regrets few.

Talented and handsome and beautiful and otherwise exceptional ladies and gents of the Ribbonfin and Coppertale quidditch and cheerleading teams, please do not forget to git on down to the photobooth of Azurcrest auteur, Micah St.Clair and make yourself a trading card.

I'll take a copy of each cuz like I'm pretty sure that these are going to be worth a lot of money someday??? And folks I have a future to worry about, I need some non-liquid assets for my portfolio. Promise I'm not putting together a creepy spank bank like that one Castillo found a while back, although if that's your joint, like, maybe get consent first but also you do you and find your happiness. Okay wow I am getting way off topic I should stop

keep it together lewis

[...]

SO YEAH. CARDS. Good luck tomorrow.

[Ribbonfin Quidditch]

Pour one out for the brave souls who drank in our stead for the quidpong tournament last night. I think I almost got De Luca killed and I feel super bad.

So, like, anyway, I know I'm just Forever Reserve Lewis or whatever, but I was looking at the numbers and thinking, and we've really benefited this year from all the long, grueling games we've had. As much as it sucked sometimes, we're on top of the points bracket because of it. I compared averages and guys, honestly? Coppertale's chasers consistently outperform us and Reid's just un-fucking-believable their seeker is unstoppable [...] also a consistent overachiever and, my dudes and dudettes, it ain't a negligible difference. Their keeper's also weaker than Avery, though, so we have that advantage.

Maybe we should try to drag this one out? More points is better for the cup, anyway.

[...]

Obviously, like, if we go this route keeping Reid distracted and off the snitch is going to be super important.

I dunno. Thoughts?

[Warded to Reid]

Hey, good luck tomorrow. Looking forward to it. If I get in every bludger I send your way is sent with love I'll try to knock your block off. Promise.

[thx u to Manx for the math sorcery help with quid numbers]