gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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so it's shark week.

in my house, that means it's time to melt into the couch while my dad yells at various australians on our tv as they stab great whites with tiny tracking-device harpoons and almost get themselves eaten by things.

which is great! but tonight's 'sharks and the city: nyc' special wasn't at all about anthropomorphic sharks living undetected in our neighborhoods, going to PTA meetings by day and chewing on small children and house pets under the cover of darkness. it wasn't even about sarah jessica parker secretly being a mako. and i'm really fucking disappointed. i'm just saying. a lot of potential was wasted here.

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it's been a long time since i've grown as an anything, but i feel like i'd be able to handle modern dance without any REAL emotional breakdown occurring. so - tentative yes? to mild personal expansion?

be careful. gambling is an addiction. there are hotlines for that.

Hmm. I'd still say stick with the long sleeves while handcuffed to a radiator.

Don't worry. I'm not much of a risk taker.

or we can get my sisters to ribbon-dance me to the radiator. way less heat conducive than metal handcuffs. and i'm sure they'd be more than happy to assist.

i dunno about that. you got some serious rebellion just simmering under the surface there.

That's kind of them, enabling our crime spree like that. And in such an artistic way.

You say rebellion, I say ~~desperation to impress~~ momentary lapses of judgment.

i'm pretty sure '~~guppy~~ bash: held captive (day 27)' will quickly replace pretty pretty princess as the new favored option for family game night.

a lapse of judgement is just a rebellion that you trip into accidentally.

Just be careful they don't decide to try out torture techniques on you. If they bust out a bucket of water, be concerned. And if you ever need a break from the torment, you're welcome down here, by the way. The bones don't tease you about anything but your own mortality. And they do that silently.

So what you're saying is there's no going back on this dark path I've wandered down? I guess I have no regrets.

their torture techniques usually involve eyelash curlers. which look WAY more like eyeball scoop-outers, let me tell you. but you let me make it until they free me from toddler-surveying and i'm MORE than happy to let jarvis judge my foolish and fleshy meat-prison and find it lacking.

you can totally turn around, but i feel like the road behind you is probably obscured by fallen trees or thick brambles or something. sorry, dude.

You're telling me - I thought my mom's eyelash curlers were some sort of weird taxidermy tool for years.

I can't imagine you ever wanting toddler wrangling to end, but Jarvis is here, formulating his opinions. I'm sure he'll have much nicer things to say about the skeleton hidden inside you.

I've had enough fun with those. So, here I am - full delinquent. At least you're stuck here with me.

you win. that's way more horrifying - knowing that the eyball scoopers are waiting for you. your fate is eyeball removal and then being stuffed.

one toddler? sure. ten toddlers? dude, those little shits can head the hell home. and there's a lot of fleshy bits involved. and it's like nobody could really decide what color it wanted to be? so they just flicked a lot of paint on it, covered it in dots, and called it a day. shoddy craftsmanship. the bones might be okay, though.

welcome. it's terrible here, but we got two packs thin mints and a lean to.

You know, I figured that's how I'd end up.

I consider myself a fan of the dots. So don't listen to Jarvis. He just doesn't know art. Skeletons, yes. Art, no.

Can we survive on that? Probably.

i'd come visit your display.

my gram says she's like to take a sharpie to me. trace some constellations on my face or something. then i'd be ready to be stuffed in the moma.

at least for a little while. maybe. if outdoor education taught me anything.

Thanks. Depending on who winds up stuffed and put on display first, I'll come visit you too.

I guess we'll just have to escalate our rebellion to survive.

thanks! i appreciate that. make sure they don't let me get all dusty.

we'll start scavenging. i mean, it's that or robbery.

I was thinking I could bring a dustbuster, but museum custodians are wiley and "disrupted museum display" doesn't really mesh with the rest of the criminal resume I'm building, so I'll just write a strongly worded letter if you seem too dusty, instead.

no, don't go out of your way with the dustbusting. it's cool. and, i mean, 'expert at persuasive communication' would probably look a lot better in the other skills section anyway.

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