(no subject)

[rosenkrans]

Talk to me about Bludgers. Someone infodump at me about how they work and what they do.

[Kazim]

Well.

I've got detention. But whatever, it's not my first or my last. I guarantee you that.

Thanks for helping.

Comments

[neattrick]

dangerous question

choosing my dorkiest icon for this comment

[rosenkrans]

Danger is my middle name.

[neattrick]

i don't believe you

but i like talking about quidditch, so whatever.

the physical component is pretty straightforward. it's just a solid iron ball. they try to get them really smooth because if they're not perfectly spherical they don't fly straight. that's because they're not very "smart", like snitches are. they'll pretty much just go for whatever's in front of them. they can't tell the difference between, like, players on different teams. or even players and bystanders. they have boundary charms on them though so they can't go out of bounds. they can kinda aim themselves, so if you just let them go wild they'll hit people pretty square in the chest, but they're not very good at course-correcting, so good beaters can get them to hit pretty much whatever they want.

[rosenkrans]

Thank you, that was very helpful.

What's their turning radius like? They don't only go in straight lines, right? Since even without Beaters smacking them around they have to avoid the boundary charms and go after targets.

[ulixes]

They're heavy.

[neattrick]

they hurt if they hit you

[ulixes]

Like most metal things.

[rosenkrans]

SERIOUSLY. So fucking heavy.

Interesting, interesting. Thank you.

[ulixes]

You're welcome. I'm something of an expert in the metallurgic arts, so I got a lot of facts about this kind of thing. For example, I'm fairly confident that Bludgers weigh more than, say, your average cat.

[kazim]

They try to hit me on a regular basis. I've been trying to figure out why for a few years now and the only conclusion I've come to is that I spurned a bludger's advances on the playground when we were both children and they, as a collective, never quite recovered.

[Neil]
No problem. One fewer haunted and/or possessed and/or malfunctioning Bludger on the field counts as "self-preservation."

[rosenkrans]

I'm writing down "Hell hath no fury like a Bludger scorned" and "Bludgers have a hive mind" right now.

[Kazim]
When you put it that way, it's like we actually did the school a favor.

But I need to analyze it to eliminate the possibility it was tampered with. I know Thorn already checked it, and told people it hadn't been messed with, but it was kind of acting weird.

[...] I keep thinking it's going to break loose from it's restraints and break my face.

[kazim]

I haven't confirmed it yet, but I also suspect they're soothed by improvisational jazz, so you should add that to your list.

[Neil]
Maybe your next heist should be welding masks from the Artificing shed.

[ninjaleo]

I think I've been preparing my whole life for this question.

[rosenkrans]

Aha! Just the man I need.

What do you know about the spells that make Bludgers homicidal?

[ninjaleo]

They're actually kind of complex. It's not just a matter of repelling charms or anything. They're bewitched to both fly and follow players around. Kind of like a semi sentient object who's just attracted to whatever is in the air at the time. Which is kind of an assist when you're hitting one, since they'll be attracted to whatever is closest. It's just making sure you have good aim and a lot of force so the target doesn't dodge. The boundary charms Clem mentioned means they can't go beyond the pitch at least.

[henshinyo]

Why are you interested in Bludgers? Are you considering picking up a sport?

[rosenkrans]

You couldn't pay me to do anything sportier than climbing through the window of an abandoned building.

Neil

[sheepish]

Is this about the Coppertale/Azurcrest game...?
[...]
I have a picture.
[...]
Of Reid. And the bludger.
I didn't show anyone bec

Ennis/Neil

[rosenkrans]

YES.

Yes! Yes to that's exactly what I was talking about, yes to wanting to see the photos, yes to Ennis you're a saint, you're a genius, you're fantastic. ♥

[...]

I kind of stole borrowed the Bludger that did the deed to double check for interference. Someone thinks Anon made it do what it did to Wainwright, but it seems out of character? Anon doesn't seem like it'd go and knock anyone senseless. I'm a little skeptical, but the person who asked seemed convinced, and I can't deny it was strange.

Ennis/Neil

[sheepish]

They're always blaming Anon. That's why I That's why I didn't show anybody. I didn't want them to do a witchhunt. [...] Creaturehunt? By witches...

It doesn't sound like Anon at all, but they're so quick to blame them the second anything goes wrong.

I'll show you, but please don't show anybody else? I don't want the MACUSA agents finding out about it.

[bambae]

They're made of solid iron. They're made to break bones.

And they work on inertia, which means usually, they fly in a straight line and don't change direction right after being hit. You hit a bludger, you better be aiming straight at your target, because after hitting it, you can still miss you target.

[rosenkrans]

Cool. Def adding to my overall Bludger understanding, bro. I've got a lot of notes to compare now.

[unregrettable]

They're really good at coming out of nowhere and not being where you expect them to be.

[rosenkrans]

Yeah, they sound generally pretty awful and one the conclusions that I've written down is "I think that I hate them." I came to it through very scientific means.

[unregrettable]

Hating them is a waste of energy. Just make sure you never take your eye off them.