gooseberryhigh | (no subject)

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so it's shark week.

in my house, that means it's time to melt into the couch while my dad yells at various australians on our tv as they stab great whites with tiny tracking-device harpoons and almost get themselves eaten by things.

which is great! but tonight's 'sharks and the city: nyc' special wasn't at all about anthropomorphic sharks living undetected in our neighborhoods, going to PTA meetings by day and chewing on small children and house pets under the cover of darkness. it wasn't even about sarah jessica parker secretly being a mako. and i'm really fucking disappointed. i'm just saying. a lot of potential was wasted here.

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They'll even be annotated with specific examples and my commentary.

Discretion is the better part of valor [...] or I guess valor isn't the right word here. Maybe grit? Anyway, starting small is the better option. West Side Story: Sharks VS Aliens doesn't need to be rushed.

i feel like i've made a mistake here. i don't know if i'm going to hold up under that level of scrutiny.

discretion is the better part of double-dealing? and it's true. we're gonna need time to perfect our casting choices anyway.

You'll be fine. Your auditor is a little biased in your favor.

Double-dealing. Definitely. Maybe that's why the sharks came back to the city. They were anticipating casting calls. Which implies that they also have supernatural foresight, I guess. Truly, they are strange and majestic creatures.

does the auditor take bribes?

it seems totally possible. the special before it was 'sharks and the city: la' - so they were covering both coasts. getting ready to chow on the competition.

He might. Gotta be good, though. What did you have in mind?

Just a bunch of elasmobranchii with stars in their eyes. Dream big, fish.

why, mr. kowalski - a lady don't kiss and tell.

i feel like i'd watch a reboot of 'the fast & the furious' series starring vin diesel as a thresher shark with very little shame.

Ah, well, I guess we'll have to wait and see, then.

Let's go ahead and reboot Pitch Black with sharks while we're at it. I think we might've stumbled on a niche goldmine.

i mean, very tenchically speaking? not a lady. but it's embarrassingly close on occasion.

we need to make some calls to some people. get some things set in motion. maybe speak to the rock. y'know, just in case.

Edited 2017-07-26 15:26 (UTC)

Nothing to be embarrassed about.

Everyone has been replaced with sharks except for The Rock. This is a great idea. You're a genius.

you haven't been over for pretty pretty princess night yet, dude.

i feel like we've really stumbled upon some brilliance here. we're really going places.

If this is an invitation, consider me RSVP'd.

Does this mean we're producers? How exciting.

we'll save a spot for you. i feel like you'll really pull off a tiara.

colleges are gonna be clamoring for all of this raw, resume-building material.

Might get lost in the hair, but I'll try it.

We are both going to be so employed in ten years.

no way. there's no way in high hell that the curls ever do anything that isn't improving situations exponentially.

yeah, but as what? is it possible that we've diversified TOO much?

~~That~~ ~~You~~ [...] Noted.

At least we can always fall back on organized crime? But I don't know how any potential employer wouldn't want someone who has their own production company and has fought ghosts.

good note.

we'd maybe need to not eat all of the product for that. cause, man, i was really thinking about how much i enjoy samoas. and it's a lot. like - do i really want to share those either? hm. point. though we'd maybe run into some trouble with no-maj employers and their ghost-validity beliefs.

I think we're still okay but we can't eat the tagalongs or the do-si-dos. Not much of a black market sale if all you're offering are trefoils.

Hmm. Unless we specifically go into producing ghost hunter television shows. That might at least give us some eccentric appeal.

yeah, but how GOOD are tagalongs if you leave me in the freezer for a bit? holy shit, i'm a walking liability. you're gonna have to take me out. find yourself a partner that's gluten free or something.

it is my favorite kind of appeal. and nobody really gets tired of watching people tripping over themselves in the dark while yelling nonsense at empty hospitals.

No can do. You're just going to have to exercise some self-control. Or we can tape your mouth shut.

I'm pretty sure it's the only kind I have, already. So I'm on the right path. The twist is that, in our show, maybe something actually hollers back.

fine, fine. we'll cuff me to the radiator and let me work from there.

works out real nice then, i think. and it's true - we won't have to blow half the budget on sfx if we've got real ghosts to throw things at people.

Just wear long sleeves so you don't get burned.

We've lucked into a mutually beneficial situation. But, do you think ghosts have an acting union?

no pain, no gain. or something?

we're really acing this thing, just saying. and, probably not, but we could start one. hire willing ghosts out to work on movie sets or at "haunted" houses.

I don't think that counts when you're chained to something, man.

Yeah, I have to agree.

Sounds good to me. We're doing some good, so long as the reps don't start trying to negotiate for possession rights as part of the compensatory package. That might get a little hairy.

i dunno. ever been chained to something?

~~it's really~~ i'm a pretty big fan.

arguing possession with ghosts seems like a potential invitation for trouble. or y'know, actual possession. we'd have a lawsuit or two on our hands.

Cannot say that I have, no.

Me, too. Let you in on a secret: it might be the best thing that's happened to me in a while.

We're going to have to proceed carefully. One of us may need to get a law degree, just to cover all of our bases.